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Baby so overtired can't sleep?

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  • Baby so overtired can't sleep?

    So I've already got a residential stay at a sleep school booked for 2 weeks time but in the meantime I need some help to get me through.
    Has anyone experienced having a baby so overtired that they become completely hysterical and nothing you do calms them down as they just can't get to sleep?? If so what did you do?
    Ds2 is now 10 months and we went to Spain a month ago and this problem started there. At first I put it down to the jet lag, ie he was tired but his body just couldn't switch off. This was happening between 12-4am and involved us trying to wake him up to calm him down after trying every technique to help him sleep and then once he had calmed down he sometimes went back to sleep again.
    Last night it happened again and he literally screamed for 2 hours between 2-4am. Now I just want to point out that he had been sleeping badly before then so when I went to bed at 10 I went into his cot with him so I was with him the whole time, he was able to feed as he wanted, cuddle etc but nothing was working. He would just get so frustrated he was throwing himself backwards, hitting his head on the sides of the cot etc. In the end I got up, put some tv on and he fell asleep on me for about an hour.
    I'm really at my wits end. My dh wants to do cc again which I am willing to consider but also very scared as it was hard when we tried before. Ds2 is ill at the moment with a cold so I know I need to wait a bit but my feeling is last nights episode wasn't the cold (as previous nights he's been obviously upset with the snotty nose but calmed down with cuddle etc). Help!!

  • #2
    Hello.. I also have a ten month old at the moment and she's fallen off the sleep wagon. All naps are short and just very 'awake' at 3am.. They are in a Wonder Weeks leap atm tho which maybe contributing to it.

    Only advice I have is to fight less. Making a baby sleep who can't/doesn't want to is painful for all concerned.

    Are you literally providing zero stimulation and being very still next to him? I find a bit of co sleeping where I lie down next to DD with an eye mask on and one arm across her chest usually works. She's in her cot usually but when the going gets rough I bring her into bed with me to calm her back to sleep. Beats staying up!!

    Good luck 🍀


    • #3
      I do try and keep stimulation down as I know he wants to sleep as his eyes are closed and he keeps lying down but can't seem to get comfortable so sits up then throws himself backwards in a hysterical fit hitting his head making things worse. It's a bit different to when he is wide awake at sleep times, jumping around, smiling etc as he's generally calm and just needs some time to wind down. (Again I'm lying in his cot next to him for these times as it makes it less stressful than going in and out 20 times).
      I can totally see why some people are against sleep training but it also really annoys me as some babies just can't sleep even when they are fed, cuddled etc and they actually need some training and help to learn to go to sleep. Right now my attempts to try and be a nurturing "attached" parent are not working!


      • #4
        First of all I want to send you virtual hugs. Sounds like you are having a really tough time of it.

        I understand your reluctance to sleep train again given what happened before, it must of knocked your confidence to use this tactic, but it SHOULD work now given he's older and you can be consistent. Is it honestly worse than having him already scream all hours of the night anyway? But you already know what camp I am in with that. It WILL be tougher and take longer though. I suggest starting from scratch again and keeping a diary of the nights so you can see an improvement.

        Or if you can't simply face it again just take it one night at a time until sleep school- 2 weeks I know feels forever but tell yourself this time in 3 weeks it'll all (hopefully!) be over.

        In any case I hope you find a solution, it sounds unsustainable. Take care of yourself xxx


        • #5
          Hugs. My DS started to do the same thing at around 8 months. I think it is fantastic that you've already booked the sleep school in, because when you really don't know how to fix it, even knowing it is coming up can provide you with a small measure of comfort. DH and I had different ideas on what we should do with DS. I have PND/PNA, so I couldn't do CC without coming close to a panic attack. I ended up sleeping on the floor in DS's room so I could shush him the moment he stirred. It sometimes worked to stop the scream-fest.

          LMS has some great advice re diarising. It will give you something to take with you to sleep school.


          • #6
            Thanks for the support guys. I know there's not much I can do but it helps to know others have been through it too. Ds 2 just seems to go against all the rules and I'm starting to feel that nothing is going to work. If he gets hysterical with me there giving him everything I can what else does he need? Luckily I'm coping ok but there were times last night I felt like "what the f*** do you want from me?!" I'm just so over it all now and at least its confirmed that I really don't have many options left so I'll prob go down the cc route again even though I know it will be tough. I'll wait a few days until he's fully over his cold then start it. I think it will be useful to do before sleep school as when we tried before we got some results but still had a long way to go after a few weeks so if that's the case again they might be able to help straighten things out.


            • #7
              Oh I know the feeling regarding going against all the rules. So tired of people saying "oh, you just need to do x." Um... He's always been like this, and he's now almost 18 months old. Do you really think I haven't tried everything?

              When DS won't settle, these days I change him, add/remove clothing as appropriate, try water, depending on the time put him on the boob. If none of that works I often cuddle him til he stops and passes out, then put him in his cot. Luckily he doesn't do it too often these days. He is still waking at least twice a night though.