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CC question

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  • CC question

    Im considering trying cc with my ds (15 months old) as his sleeps have regressed again & become a huge battle again.

    I have a question:

    When you go in and either shush or pat them, what if they don't calm down? Everywhere says 'shush/pat till calm'. If they don't calm down, do you just stay & keep patting forever, or do you leave anyway? If you leave, do you still stay out the allotted amount of time even though they were upset while you were in the room?

    At sleep school cause he was younger, if he didn't calm down then we just stayed & patted him to sleep. That no longer works & anyway thats not the point of cc.

  • #2
    CC question

    When I did it with ds1 when he was 6 months old and he didn't stop crying so I would just use the time to reassure him I was still around by talking and patting him for a few seconds but I didn't necessarily try to calm him down as he would struggle and cry to sleep whether in his cot or in my arms. So I didn't really see the benefit of picking him up as he would have carried in crying until exhausted. So in my mind the only difference for him was that he was crying in his cot with me trying to reassure him I was still there rather than him crying in my arms. So I would talk for a few seconds letting him know I was there then leave again even while he was crying. I would then wait the allocated time and repeat. I only needed to do it for about 20 mins max before he would fall asleep.
    You do start to be able to tell the difference in cries and at first go in for the suggested times but as time goes on you start to recognise when the baby is almost asleep and just protesting and if you go in it will probably aggravate them so you then start to play it a bit more by ear.
    My baby was younger but it really worked well for us. Within 3 days he was going to sleep within about 5 mins with just a bit of fuss and he was sleeping though within 2 weeks.
    Good luck, I'm counting down the weeks until my ds 2 is 6 months as his sleep is just awful right now! I'm so frustrated as I've been trying so hard since he was about 8 weeks old with gentle techniques to get him to self settle and at one stage he was doing really well. Now I feel like all my work was a complete waste of time as I'm back to rocking, feeding etc every 1-2 hours every night or else he will scream like a banshee. I've honestly never heard a scream like it! Not looking forward to the cc but having seen it work so well in a short space of time I'm praying it will work the same this time around!!
    Last edited by nh2489; 19-10-2015, 19:22.


    • #3
      Personally I could never pat & shush DS. It only got him more worked up. He was much younger when we tried CC (9 months), it was the only way we could wean the midnight feed.

      He was never a baby to be comforted to sleep, he had to self settle and would never sleep in my arms or even if I were in the room. I read that if your child is like this, the shushing/patting method will not work for them. Full stop.

      Not saying this is the case for you, just wanted to share my experience.

      We let him CIO, it took 3 nights (then he slept through) but he was young so I think it's easier then. It worked for us when nothing else had.


      • #4
        Im fairly good at listening to the cries already as we did responsive settling at sleep school. However he was only 6 months old when we went so they allowed us to do more hands on settling - patting to sleep etc.

        So now i think its time to be stricter, move away from the hands-on settling that doesnt seem to work anymore


        • #5
          I dont think I could let him cio, id be too upset. Ive thought about it a few times though, like this morning at 4am when id been trying since 2am to get him back to sleep.

          Hopefully more stricter CC might have some success!


          • #6
            Honestly, I've used 2 different 'variations' of CC over the years -

            1. Leave her to cry for 10 mins,go in for about 1 min & give some reassurance but dont pick her up,then leave & repeat. She never settled while I went in for the periods,but eventually went to sleep. The first few nights were hell,but it worked quickly.

            2. Leave to cry for 1 long period - around 20-25 mins,then go in &pat/shush however long it takes until they are asleep. This is the Tizzie Hall method from her book, & it worked really well with dd2, & I was so much more comfortable with this than the in &out of CC. Have you ever read Save our Sleep? (Ducks to dodge the bullets). I would recommend personally, just to look at the guidelines of roughly how much sleep etc to expect, other factors that cause wakefulness, etc. But its certainly not for everyone, but if you give it an open mind & take what works for you &leave the rest, I think it can be a good help.


            • #7
              I have a copy of SOS but haven't read it, ill definitely have a look.


              • #8
                Hey Heartstringz,
                I have no experience with CC so I hope you don't mind me replying. I just wanted to add that your DS seems to be quite a high-needs child, so it might be possible to find a sleep strategy that's more tailored to his needs and temperament. (Does this sound like your DS? "Awakens frequently" is on the list:
                Unfortunately I'm not sure what the solution actually is though as I don't have direct experience with this, but thought maybe keeping this in mind might help you find a solution that works for you all. (Even googling "high needs toddler sleep" gives a lot of articles that might be of some use?)
                Good luck with it, I hope you all get some rest soon.


                • #9
                  Are you able to attend sleep school again?


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by heplusme View Post
                    Are you able to attend sleep school again?
                    Not really, im back at work now & cant really take a week off until over xmas or February. Id like to do something before xmas & definitely before February.


                    • #11
                      We went by DD's cues which is what we were advised at sleep school. So if she seemed to be responding to the shushing, patting, whatever we would continue until she was calm, but not asleep. If it seemed to be getting her more worked up, which sometimes it did, we would leave her to it and either she would stop crying and go to sleep by herself, or we would go back in a few minutes (I never timed it, just listened to cries) and try again. Often on the second or third time she would be ready to accept our help to calm down.


                      • #12
                        Just thought I'd add this link to an article I found recently about a study showing that cc didn't appear to have any long term effects. I know I've felt bad and judged by doing it so it made me feel better knowing that whilst it's not a technique for everyone I don't believe I've caused my child longterm damage.