No announcement yet.

My ex DH's new girlfriend kinda stalks me.

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • My ex DH's new girlfriend kinda stalks me.

    Hi all,

    I know it sounds odd. And I'm sure some others have been through this before. But I feel like my ex DH's new girlfriend is stalking me. Not in a really bad way. But in a weird way. We separated nearly 2 years ago. I kicked him out because I'd had enough of the lies and cheating and manipulation. And after some counseling realised I was in a relationship with a Narcissist for 15 years.

    The reason I'd had enough of the marriage was because of his latest interest- his new girlfriend. He met her before we split. And lied to me about liking her and spending time with her behind my back. Long story short- her marriage eventually broke up and now they are officially together.

    In the meantime I have moved on and have met an awesome guy, and basically deal with my ex DH with a "keep him at a large distance" attitude. Trying not to play into his mind games and manipulation and put downs, and only respond to texts and talk to him when I have to as we have children together. He can be very nasty and demands for me to respect him which is what he said in front of the mediators, which is never going to happen. He lost my respect a long time ago.

    Our children go to the same school and we live in the same suburb. So it's hard to avoid her on the streets. And that's fine. You can't avoid people forever in a small suburb. But there have been some instances where things have not added up at all. For instance her driving past my house at 9:30 at night. I kinda live out of the way. One day I drove to the supermarket and she passed me heading away from it. I parked the car and noticed she came back into the car park, on her phone she went to one entrance stood there looked around then walked over to the other entrance looked around the car park again and walked inside. Meanwhile I was still in my car on the phone to my partner watching her. I started the car and left thinking I didn't really need to shop right then and there.

    She passed me another time and did exactly the same thing, I was driving to the supermarket and she was heading away, this time I had gone into the supermarket and within a matter of minutes she had appeared with her children in tow in the lolly aisle. Who does a u turn to go straight to the lolly aisle with their children?

    A number of other little things have happened. And my friends have noticed this the whole time. One time I was talking with 2 of my friends outside one of their houses. And she passed me 3 times in a matter of minutes. I said to my friends "am I crazy?" They were adamant I wasn't. And have since noticed a lot of the other instances that have happened.

    If I pass her in person, she makes a point of saying hello to me "hi **** how are ya?" As nice as pie. I don't know about anyone else but usually you avoid the ex wife. And isn't it usually the ex wife who harasses the new couple? Not the new girlfriend harassing the old wife? Not saying she's actually harassing me but it's odd that she makes a point of saying hello. Almost like she's rubbing it in my face that they're now together.

    I haven't given them anything. I don't text him unless I have to. I don't go anywhere near where he lives unless I'm dropping the kids off. I don't go anywhere near her home. I don't follow her and I don't acknowledge anything in text messages. For instance I have not once acknowledged their relationship, even though he denied wanting her before our split when that is now clearly what was going on. I just want them to leave me alone. Now they aren't doing enough to warrant reporting them or anything. But I feel like she's watching me for him. There's been other instances of reports to him and him having a go at me for the kids riding to school which he didn't want them to do. Saying that he saw them nearly get hit by a car. But at that time he would have been at work an hour away but the kids said they saw dads girlfriend drive past. I took my camera to school as my little one had dress ups. She saw me with my camera at the school (I love photography) and an hour later I get a nasty text from my ex DH stating that he wanted a copy of those photos and that he shouldn't have to ask. I had already thought I would send him a pic. So I put back in his place and said that if he didn't ask nicely he wouldn't get anything ever again.

    I know she doesn't know what he's like. He has his mask on to her. The mask is off with me and he treats me like a piece of **** in the gutter. One time he texted me as nice as pie saying please and thank you and even the work "hi" which, trust me, is unusual. I remember the kids saying that that weekend he was away with his girlfriend. I concluded that she must have been looking over his shoulder as he had texted me. He's never nice to me.

    A few days ago I was waiting to help my boys cross a busy road because they were riding. She went passed me went up a road and within 15 seconds she came out that road and back passed me again.

    Am I crazy? Or is this a little weird? There's been other things but not much to them. I feel like I just want to move away but I can't do that to my kids.

    I'd love to hear you perspective.


  • #2
    That sounds very odd!!
    I live in a small suburb and hardly see anyone more than once every few months at the local shops!


    • #3
      Not crazy. Very weird. Doesn't seem to be much you can do about it either, other than keep grinning and bearing it. You're doing the right thing by not playing into their games. Will he eeeeeeeeeeeeventually get sick of it?


      • #4
        I feel like I don't even see my next door neighbours as much as she is "accidentally" in the same place as you!


        • #5
          How unnerving and odd, I'm sorry this is happening for you Kitty, as like you said it's usually the other way around (ex-wife stalking new girlfriend) if there's any of that sort of behaviour going on.

          Could you tell your DH his new girlfriend 'popping up' all over the place at different hours is unsettling the kids, or do you think they may incense him further with his blatant lack of respect for you. [emoji17]


          • #6
            This is so weird.

            You could mention it to your ex in a passive aggressive way perhaps?! That might be enough to get them to back off?

            Does seem like more than coincidence though. I think she is watching/ following you


            • #7
              My ex DH's new girlfriend kinda stalks me.

              I don't think this is about you so much as her insecurities towards your Ex. She was the "other" woman. I bet she had doubts about his faithfulness. She is now in a relationship with him. I'm sure it would be playing in her mind that he could easily do it again. Not to mention she probably has seen his true colours now, behaviours he would have kept under wraps while she was the other woman. She is probably jealous too that you have moved on and are happy and could give two hoots what they do

              Not that this helps you much! Hopefully she will get over it and leave you alone. For now feel sorry for the biatch. She is the one that is with your narcissistic ex


              • #8
                My ex DH's new girlfriend kinda stalks me.

                Last edited by preggasaurus; 11-02-2017, 21:19.


                • #9
                  Hi everyone,

                  I mentioned to him once that people have informed me that I'm being watched. He said to me "by who?" And I said I think you know who and he did the whole I don't know what you mean act. I said I know you were on your phone to her as she was seen on her phone. This was after the time she was 'following' my children because he didn't want them to ride. He said I don't talk to her as often as you think I do. At this stage they were still hiding their relationship. I said well show me your call list then, he stared at me for what seemed like an eternity. And I said show me if you have nothing to hide and he said I don't know what that's supposed to prove! I said it would prove me wrong. And of course he wanted to prove me wrong. But no, he just stared at me again....for ages. He changed the subject eventually and argued more about them riding and then said I'll call her and ask her about it (his girlfriend). And left. I thought well this should be interesting. He later called me and was as nice as pie to me and explained it all away.

                  My gut instinct says that if I was basically accusing his girlfriend of stalking me then he would have gone off his nut at me if she wasn't. But no, he didn't. Interesting. So talking to him is not going to get me anywhere. All he has ever done is lie. I do believe he says things to make her think she's doing the right thing. Maybe he says I'm a bad mum, neglecting my children. Who knows what he says. But I think she thinks that keeping an eye on me is her job.

                  It would not surprise me if she's insecure. Basically the way she got him is going to be the way she loses him. He cheated on me for 15 years. Best predictor of future behavior is past behavior (love Dr Phil).

                  When I got with my new partner, my ex DH went off his nut. It's an interesting indicator to how he felt about it as opposed to how I reacted when they finally admitted to being in a relationship worth the woman he cheated on me with. Nothing. They got nothing. Maybe they wanted me to act like a crazy banshee woman and abuse them in public or start nasty texts. But they got nothing. I think that has really disappointed them. Well it'll be interesting to see what the future holds.

                  Thanks ladies.