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I tipped out my husbands alcohol.

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  • I tipped out my husbands alcohol.

    I just tipped out my husbands alcohol. It's ruining our marriage, we have been through counseling, arguments, compromises.... long history etc etc but I never touched his alcohol. Today I grabbed the bottle and tipped it all out.

    What should I do now???

  • #2
    no advice but big hugs. I hope things work out for you.

    he's not likely to get aggressive because his grog is gone is he? X


    • #3
      Simple. Tell him it's you or alcohol.
      That's the answer you want. If he chooses alcohol you know where you stand.


      • #4
        I hope he realises that you are only wanting to make him see what harm the alcohol is doing to you and to your marriage. Have you contacted Al anon. It is a support organisation for the family members of alcoholics. I can totally understand why you have done this, and I really hope your partner sees the seriousness of the situation. I wish you all the best. , hugs marie.


        • #5
          I told him this last year and he said me. within 3 months he changed his mind said he was leaving because he doesn't want his identity taken away from him. So now he has this alcohol and ME.... he is having his cake and eating it too. I think I did this hoping he would give me a good enough excuse to leave.

          No he will not hit me. But he might get very cranky and hate me. He might yell but probably not coz that would upset the kids


          • #6
            What should you do? Explain to him that you have done this out of frustration. You are desperate for him to change and you don't know how to get through to him.

            Sounds like you've tried a lot of techniques already to try and curb his alcoholism, but unfortunately it is him who needs to be the one to wake up and take action. You can't nag him into it (sadly) and booze can easily be replaced.

            I'm sorry you are dealing with this, it must be really tough


            • #7
              I too understand how you got to this point.

              I imagine he will panic and possibly lash out at you as a first response. Stay calm, keep reminding him that you love him and you are here to help him if he gets help.

              In my experience addicts need to decide for themselves to stop to have any success, so I expect things may be tricky at first. After all, it ultimately is his choice to seek help or not (still reinforcing I understand your actions totally).

              But I think what you have done should really show him how seriously you are feeling this is an issue.

              Maybe you could write down all of the reasons you have done this for him to go and read when he is calm?

              Good luck OP.


              • #8
                Thanks for the responses. I have done all that, talks, emails, explaining. But he always tries to convince me that it's not that bad and justify it by talking about how much other people drink compared to him.

                The think is I can't sleep in the same bed as him anymore.

                We have a house together and two kids, one is starting school next year. A lot is at stake.


                • #9
                  I think I will one more time tell me that it's Me or the Alcohol. This time if he continues to drink then It will truly be over.

                  He will blame me for ruining our marriage.


                  • #10
                    The truth is, alcoholics can only help themselves when they admit they have a problem. They have to want to accept help, and have to know that they need help. Life will be better for you and your children without him, or with him and without the alcohol. You are being strong and doing what needs to be done. hugs, marie.


                    • #11
                      Feel free to PM me Hun. I've had similar experiences but don't want to share on a public forum X


                      • #12
                        [MENTION=55050]babybloom[/MENTION] huge hugs.


                        • #13
                          Stay strong Hun and don't second guess yourself.
                          My exh was the same turned it back on me and tried to tell me it was all normal behavior and that I'll never find someone who doesn't drink (DP hasn't had a drink in 9 years)
                          We went to marriage counseling too where our counselor explained to him it was important to me and like you he changed initially but then got angry and me.
                          Don't lower your expectations if you feel so strongly about them
                          I wish you the best of luck xx


                          • #14
                            I totally get why you did it, I grew up around an alcoholic. But as someone that used to have an addiction - nicotine, it may do more harm than good.

                            Probably less than 6 months before I gave up for good, my eldest saw a smoking ad and went and threw my packet of cigarettes in the bin without my knowledge or permission. I was furious. I felt like I was being backed into a corner, like I was being forced and emotionally blackmailed. Needless to say I kept smoking. Then one day I got my long awaited BFP and haven't had a smoke for 2 years.

                            He won't give up drinking bc there is none left in the house. If he does kick the habit it will be bc HE wants to. I'm not defending him in the slightest, I have zero sympathy for him and he needs to get his sh*t together. I'm just saying pouring it down the sink probably won't work.

                            If you've talked to him, attended counselling etc, there is nothing more you can do. If it were me I'd be packing his stuff up while he is at work, dropping it off at a friend or family's house and telling him he isn't coming home until he's been clean and sober and attending AA's for 6 months.


                            • #15
                              hi op. how are you going? what was his reaction, ? I hope there is a good outcome for you. hugs, marie.