Feel like I can't go on..(possibly disturbing)

[francesca1]

Hi all.
I'm just looking for some support. I'm 29weeks and suffering from what I guess is prenatal depression.
I have anxiety and panic disorder and agoraphobia which was pre-existing prior to pregnancy, but I've definitely found the pregnancy has exacerbated my anxiety to an unmanageable extent. I used to be able to drive short distances, such as to the gym/library/local shops, however now I'm completely housebound.
I was doing well getting myself to appointments, but in the last three weeks I've missed an ultrasound, an OB check up and my gestational diabetes test, all because of my current anxiety level.

I feel like I'm suffocating. Whenever I look in the mirror and see my pregnant stomach, all I can think about is hurting myself. Rationally I know that I want to live and that I'll be ok, but there is an overwhelming urge in me to just end things so that I don't have to go through this pain for one more day. I have made an appointment with my GP for tomorrow but I know I won't be able to drive the 15 minutes there. I'm going to see if he can call me instead and do a phone appointment, because I really need help.
Prior to PG I was on pristiq, lexapro, seroquel, and Xanax as needed (which was rare, id take maybe .25mg once a month) but after becoming pg I weaned off all medication. I'm considering asking (more like begging) my doctor to put me on something, perhaps zoloft. I'm just terrified I'm going to hurt myself, I really feel like I'm going off the deep end. I can't eat because I have a fear of bodily functions and I'm terrified that any food is going to make me sick.

I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance. Does it get better? Will medication help? Is there any way to stop feeling this way??

[babyla]

Big hugs!

I have no experience with the meds but I just wanted to say that you won't feel like this forever.

Do you have a partner? Family?

[LoveLivesHere]

If pm your state I will find a mental crisis team that can come to you. They can help with how your feeling as well as the medical stuff.

My adult dd has severe anxiety disorders. I understand how hard it can be.

[LoveLivesHere]

There is help both meds and therapy. They do work.
You are so strong for reaching out for help.

[Kazza78]

Could you possibly get the gp to ring you today after they have finished appointments?

[francesca1]

Thankyou babyla. I have a great partner and v supportive family so I'm lucky in that respect. I guess I'm also just a bit of a loner in that I don't like to worry them with my feelings...cos I don't want them to be scared for me or constantly checking up on me, if that makes sense.

[francesca1]

Anewme: I might just do that tomorrow if I can't get a hold of my GP....that may be an absolute lifesaver for me. I'm in melbourne

[TeamCarts]

Huge hugs to you. I know they wouldn't have your medical history but what about one of those GP to home services that come to you?

[Lincolns mummy]

Hugs Hun. Please speak to your partner, he is there to help xx

[LoveLivesHere]

Orygen Youth Health. Ph: 0383457400 (9am-5pm weekdays) or 1800888320 (after-hours & weekends).

These guys are in Melbourne and are absolutely beautiful people. I couldn't recommend highly enough.

[Atropos]

1300726386 is the number for Panda- please call them and get some help. This info might help- http://www.panda.org.au/images/stori...Depression.pdf

[francesca1]

Thankyou all so much. I can't tell you how much better it makes me feel just to have some support, even from strangers!
I will get in touch with PANDA, from reading that fact sheet seems like I have all the symptoms.
You are all lovely.

[LoveLivesHere]

Thankyou all so much. I can't tell you how much better it makes me feel just to have some support, even from strangers!
I will get in touch with PANDA, from reading that fact sheet seems like I have all the symptoms.
You are all lovely.

There will always be support here.

Please always reach out.

If you ever need to talk I am here. Pm me anytime

[Cat74]

Definitely reach out for support when you need it - reach out to family, friends and other bubhubbers. Never shy away from acknowledging and expressing how you truly feel because you think you're burdening others. The people that love you will want to help you.

I suffered from anxiety while I was pregnant too. I have suffered with it on and off since I was a teenager and finding out I was pregnant set me off again. I then had high BP and GD which didn't make for a pleasant time of it. It was my GD dr, in consultation with my OB, who arranged for me to see a psychiatrist. Through that dr I did a perinatal depression and anxiety course, which really helped me. And I got to meet other women who were going through the same thing. Just knowing that others felt how I did, and hearing their stories, helped me immensely. Knowing that I wasn't alone or weird...

Lexapro is OK during pregnancy (not sure about Zoloft) and if you've had it before that might be the way the dr you see suggests that you go. Also look into cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). There are lots of resources online, which might help you. Medication is great to get you feeling more like yourself but it works best if you do also see a psychiatrist/psychologist so that you can talk about what's causing your anxiety and phobias.

[JustJaq]

If you can't leave the house, have you heard if the National Home Doctor Service? I haven't used them, but you can call 13 SICK to ask for a Dr to visit you at home. I think they're even bulk billed. Google them - I think the website may be homedoctor.com.au.

Hang in there. Wishing you all the best.