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  • #16
    Let's break the stigma attached to mental health illness!

    Originally posted by DueInAugust View Post
    He does support me in everything else it's just when I'm medicated he feels like I'm not there. Medicated I am on auto pilot and have no emotions at all.
    It is hard on him because I say I still love him but he can't see it.

    Off the medication I'm me but I'm hard to be around sometimes. He is the only control I have. Like he is my calm.
    I hope that made sense.

    Sent from my LG-P500 using BubHub
    Sound exactly like my situation, you have worded it so much better than me thankyou

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    • #17
      Originally posted by DueInAugust View Post
      He does support me in everything else it's just when I'm medicated he feels like I'm not there. Medicated I am on auto pilot and have no emotions at all.
      It is hard on him because I say I still love him but he can't see it.

      Off the medication I'm me but I'm hard to be around sometimes. He is the only control I have. Like he is my calm.
      I hope that made sense.

      Sent from my LG-P500 using BubHub
      Yep that made sense

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Eko View Post
        Quite a while back I was suffering work related depression and was put on antidepressants.
        DH was entirely NOT understanding, and told me that if they made me feel like cr@p (physically) that I should just stop taking them. I said to him that if I quit my job I wouldn't need to take them anymore but he was determined that I not quit.
        I eventually ignored him and quit my job and instantly didn't need the meds anymore as the stress was gone.

        Fast forward and last year DH was suffering a mega strong bout of depression that was entirely brought on by work place stress and he said to me "I can't believe that I didn't support you at all when you were depressed from work. Now I understand what you were going through I feel terrible!".
        I actually had to tell him to quit that job because life had become unbearable at home from his behaviour. He was basically waiting for me to tell him to quit because he didn't want to admit that he was wrong to force me to keep working back when I was in the same position.
        Lets just say it was a valuable lesson for him .
        Wow bet that was a real eye opener for him!!

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        • #19
          Hi

          My DH suffers from anxiety, depression and has been diagnosed as bi-polar. His parents were abusive and it has taken him a long time to recover from that and to understand that I won't be angry if he makes mistakes etc as his mum used to lash out at him.

          It has taken years of counselling, visiting several GPs until he found one that understood and didn't make him feel worthless and a time waster and seeing two psychiatrists (he didn't like his first one) for him to be where he is today.
          We have been together for 13 years and he was a pillar of support whilst we underwent IVF. So I've seen him at his blackest to where he is now. He is an amazing fathher - which is what he worried about because of his own childhood and is primary carer to our son.

          He has also tried several different medications and combinations to find one that removes the darkness, but lets him be himself. He still gets side effects, such as requiring lots of sleep etc, but overall is in a good place .

          If you feel that your medication is not right for you, please investigate other ones, quantities etc.

          It is such a shame that there is a stigma attached, but having been more open about our situation in recent years, I've been shocked at the number of people in the same situation.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by sooz80 View Post
            Hi

            My DH suffers from anxiety, depression and has been diagnosed as bi-polar. His parents were abusive and it has taken him a long time to recover from that and to understand that I won't be angry if he makes mistakes etc as his mum used to lash out at him.

            It has taken years of counselling, visiting several GPs until he found one that understood and didn't make him feel worthless and a time waster and seeing two psychiatrists (he didn't like his first one) for him to be where he is today.
            We have been together for 13 years and he was a pillar of support whilst we underwent IVF. So I've seen him at his blackest to where he is now. He is an amazing fathher - which is what he worried about because of his own childhood and is primary carer to our son.

            He has also tried several different medications and combinations to find one that removes the darkness, but lets him be himself. He still gets side effects, such as requiring lots of sleep etc, but overall is in a good place .

            If you feel that your medication is not right for you, please investigate other ones, quantities etc.

            It is such a shame that there is a stigma attached, but having been more open about our situation in recent years, I've been shocked at the number of people in the same situation.
            You sound like wonderful support for your husband

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            • #21
              Let's break the stigma attached to mental health illness!

              Just wanted to chip in that my husband has been incredible supporting me with my mental health illnesses. I have a few different diagnoses and it took awhile to get the right treatments and he has always been there to listen to every complaint big or small. All my whinging about medication side effects, me getting fat (side effect), no sex for months at a time, not going out of the house. He would go get my meds, get take out, do the grocery shopping etc. He works and pays all the bills so I don't have to work.
              We are newly married (2 yrs). And what he has put up with and is still there for me, I just love him so much.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by catrules View Post
                Just wanted to chip in that my husband has been incredible supporting me with my mental health illnesses. I have a few different diagnoses and it took awhile to get the right treatments and he has always been there to listen to every complaint big or small. All my whinging about medication side effects, me getting fat (side effect), no sex for months at a time, not going out of the house. He would go get my meds, get take out, do the grocery shopping etc. He works and pays all the bills so I don't have to work.
                We are newly married (2 yrs). And what he has put up with and is still there for me, I just love him so much.
                That is love

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                • #23
                  I have anxiety and depression, though I honestly believe that my anxiety triggers the depression, because really, living with anxiety is pretty crap.

                  Nobody has been too unfair about my MI but I do often get looked at like I'm crazy or OTT when I act in a certain way thanks to my anxiety. It's hard because I rationally KNOW that my reaction is absurd and irrational, but I cannot control it anyway. I suppose it's like a phobia - you might know that statistically, you're not going to die in a plane crash, but that doesn't stop you from being terrified of being in a plane... because it's just not something you can control.

                  I am, at present, unmedicated, though I feel like I should probably go back onto my medication soon. I've started a new job, and there have been times when I can feel the onset of an anxiety attack... I start to tremble and stumble, and my mind is going at a million miles a second... I sweat, I stress... and it's usually over nothing. It's not that anything has happened... that's the hard part, because it's not actually a reaction to anything specific... it just happens at random (though I do find that "changes," or things that make me feel a little uncomfortable are more likely to trigger an attack).

                  It would be nice if I wasn't looked at as if I am a bit nuts when I am like this. Generally, I'm the one trying to pretend like I'm fine and normal so that others don't judge me... and it's REALLY HARD to do that when you're freaking out. My normal reaction to an attack is "I MUST GO HOME NOW!" and if I'm already home? "I NEED TO BE ALONE IN BED - NOW!" It's very hard to feel like that when you're in a new job... you don't want to look like an unreliable freak with *issues.*

                  I don't really think it's affected my parenting too much tbh. It might mean we're out and I say, "Okay, sorry, we need to go home now," at times, but I'm lucky that I don't often seem to have attacks when I'm with her. I can still parent a child just fine with my MI.

                  It also means that I can't often go to sleep, and then once I do, it's so late that I sleep in (or WANT to sleep in) or require a nap later. People just assume I'm lazy. Even my partner. It's not laziness - I just get very little sleep because my brain is too busy bothering me with endless thoughts that prevent me from sleeping... and then I sleep in because I NEED to cos I'm tired as hell, because I only fell asleep at 4am or something.

                  Sometimes though, when my depression is going crazy (usually after a lot of anxiety attacks), I just want to stay in bed and do nothing. Again, it's not laziness... it's about the fact that it's damn hard to convince myself to get out of bed. I'd compare it to convincing yourself to run a 10km marathon. It's got to be hard for some people do that... but even just getting up requires intense motivation some days. DP will look at me like, "wtf have you been doing all day?" and I just think, "Dude, if only you knew how hard I had to work to convince myself to just get out of bed this morning..."

                  DP isn't a bad guy - he just doesn't get it. He has anxiety and depression himself, but his seems to be quite controlled and it manifests differently than mine anyway. His anxiety only presents itself in social situations where there are large crowds of people (like, a wedding or something I guess)... so these things are easily avoided. He hasn't had a single attack since I've known him because he just avoids his triggers. He's not had an issue with getting out of bed either - actually, when his depression is at its worst, he tends to be very very motivated (just very closed-off too). So he just doesn't get it.

                  Not many seem to get it.
                  Last edited by SassyMummy; 25-01-2013, 12:47.

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                  • #24
                    Re: Let's break the stigma attached to mental health illness!

                    OK big deep breath. I was diagnosed with Major depression and severe anxiety over 17 years ago.
                    Although I do think I'm a good mum, my MI has influenced how I parent my children.
                    My DP is extremely supportive and I couldn't get through each day without him.
                    I've recently taken a huge step back from my family as their lack of acceptance and compassion was really detrimental to me. I already feel that a weight has been lifted from me.
                    I have chosen not to medicate. Instead I try to control it with diet and supplements. But the most helpful thing I have found is CBT.
                    Sorry this post seems quote devoid of personality, I'm only just coming out of a two week slump and my brain is still a bit foggy.
                    I feel my journey with an MI, although difficult and tiring, is a rewarding one. The times I feel in control of my illness are very strengthing for me, and everytime I pull myself up out of a slump I feel an emense surge of self pride.

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                    • #25
                      Re: Let's break the stigma attached to mental health illness!

                      Hi
                      I have bipolar and borderline personality (not multiple personalities. They are different). I was diagnosed 3 days before my 21at birthday... I am a stepmum to a 3yo girl and am due to have my first in a few weeks. I found out today that my medication is safe during pregnancy and breast feeding so I will be going back on it tonight. The last 7 months have been so difficult on everyone around me and I can't wait to have some semblance of control over my emotions again


                      Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

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                      • #26
                        Sassy - my depression is also triggered by my anxiety. It's a catch 22, really!

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by smidget3004 View Post
                          Hi
                          I have bipolar and borderline personality (not multiple personalities. They are different). I was diagnosed 3 days before my 21at birthday... I am a stepmum to a 3yo girl and am due to have my first in a few weeks. I found out today that my medication is safe during pregnancy and breast feeding so I will be going back on it tonight. The last 7 months have been so difficult on everyone around me and I can't wait to have some semblance of control over my emotions again


                          Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub
                          I hope that the medications help you

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by sakabla View Post
                            OK big deep breath. I was diagnosed with Major depression and severe anxiety over 17 years ago.
                            Although I do think I'm a good mum, my MI has influenced how I parent my children.
                            My DP is extremely supportive and I couldn't get through each day without him.
                            I've recently taken a huge step back from my family as their lack of acceptance and compassion was really detrimental to me. I already feel that a weight has been lifted from me.
                            I have chosen not to medicate. Instead I try to control it with diet and supplements. But the most helpful thing I have found is CBT.
                            Sorry this post seems quote devoid of personality, I'm only just coming out of a two week slump and my brain is still a bit foggy.
                            I feel my journey with an MI, although difficult and tiring, is a rewarding one. The times I feel in control of my illness are very strengthing for me, and everytime I pull myself up out of a slump I feel an emense surge of self pride.
                            Thanks for sharing

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                            • #29
                              Re: Let's break the stigma attached to mental health illness!

                              Sorry double post

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                              • #30
                                Just wanted to say well done on creating a positive support thread, i have made this a sticky for you

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