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7yo obsessed with God-NON religious family/upbringing.

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  • 7yo obsessed with God-NON religious family/upbringing.

    So add the title states... we are non-religious. I guess, almost Omnist??, in that we are accepting of all religions. However we do not practice, nor preech any. We have not introduced religion to our children (7 & 3).

    We were planning, that as the subject arose, to introduce them gently with "religion x believe abc, religion y believe def, religion z believe ghi " sort of thing... and highlight that neither is right or wrong, just what they believe/ think..... the same way my favorite color is purple, and theirs is green, dads is blue. Neither is right or wrong, it's just what we like.

    Now... in the last few weeks of school before xmas, Mr 7 became obsessed with God... but more so as a scapegoat for negative/"bad" things happening. E.g. ds spilt water, he'd clench his fists and grumble and go "arghhhhh GOD!!! Why did you do that??",quite angrily. If he hurt himself, something broke/ got in his way.... it was gods fault....or if ds2 hurt him, it was gods fault for making ds2 do it....etc etc.... because God controls everything and everyone... so everything was always gods fault. It only applied to the negative. It was the topic of conversation ALL the time, it basically ruled his thoughts, and no amount of discussion could alter his thinking. It became so intense...I felt uncomfortable because I don't think he was "believing" in God In the way that the varied religions do.

    I asked ds how he learnt about god, because he goes to a public school, and they don't do religion.... and he said from a friend. I don't mind that ds has been introduced to religion.... BUT... I am actually offended at the way in which it's been done.

    I don't think that ds is being given correct information, and as a result he has an incorrect understanding, and honestly, I'm offended for those who do believe In god, because I feel the message ds has taken away from his friend is actually the exact opposite of what they teach and believe.

    I didn't approach the school as I figured with the Xmas holidays just around the corner (it REALLY escillated In the last week or 2) I figured they couldn't address it properly so just left it be, hoping with the break ds would "forget" about it. Well, ds has, and hasn't mentioned god, or gotten angry at god for a while now, but I'm worried with school returning soon it will ramp up again.

    If it should arise again - how should I approach it? Would it be worth seeing the teacher? Or go straight to the principal? Do you think I'm over reacting?

  • #2
    7yo obsessed with God-NON religious family/upbringing.

    Do you know this friend and the parent/s? If you do , I’d start there but in all honesty, it’s been quite awhile since the kids were at school so hopefully it’s been forgotten but if it comes up again could you contact the parents and discuss and then approach the school if you’re not happy with the outcome? Sorry I may be way out of line ..

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    • #3
      We aren't religious but I teach my children people can believe what they like. Last term my then ds7 was obsessed with God because his friend told him to pray for something and it happened *eyeroll*. Not long after he prayed for something else and it didn't happen so he became sceptical.

      I don't think it's an issue the school can take up, I'd be inclined to talk to the parents and if DS's friend does the whole preaching thing again I will ( I really like his mate, he's super polite and a lovely kid and I like his parents).

      In our case DS came to realise if there is a God who is responsible for all things then he killed DS's sister and a nice God wouldn't kill babies.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by granny1 View Post
        Do you know this friend and the parent/s? If you do , I’d start there but in all honesty, it’s been quite awhile since the kids were at school so hopefully it’s been forgotten but if it comes up again could you contact the parents and discuss and then approach the school if you’re not happy with the outcome? Sorry I may be way out of line ..
        I *know* the mum, in a wave, say hi, ask how she's going kind of way...
        Originally posted by Tainted View Post
        We aren't religious but I teach my children people can believe what they like. Last term my then ds7 was obsessed with God because his friend told him to pray for something and it happened *eyeroll*. Not long after he prayed for something else and it didn't happen so he became sceptical.

        I don't think it's an issue the school can take up, I'd be inclined to talk to the parents and if DS's friend does the whole preaching thing again I will ( I really like his mate, he's super polite and a lovely kid and I like his parents).

        In our case DS came to realise if there is a God who is responsible for all things then he killed DS's sister and a nice God wouldn't kill babies.
        Oh gosh [emoji174] I'm so sorry for your loss. That would be a hard thing for a 7yo to understand!

        As I said above I know the mum enough to say hi to her in passing... I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable approaching her about it tbh. I don't think she'd care, she seems pretty easy going, but I also don't want to make things uncomfortable. (I'm not big on conflict, even in the way of respectful sensitive discussions) and I'd hate to offend her/her son.

        I don't want to cause trouble, I was kind of hoping the school may have been able to address the class(es?) In a non- direct to this exact issue kind of way? They do a lot of work on relationships with their peers, and respect and I thought they might have been able to bring it up in that way...

        maybe using football teams as a fill-in topic for religion (some support Melbourne, Some Adelaide, Some do none... but be kind and respectful to who the other person likes, no one team is better... ) To get the message across.

        99% of their interactions are at school, so I figured maybe the school could help? I don't know if the child is saying similar to other children or not??
        I just.... idon't know what to do, this is ds's 3rd year (going into grade 2) so I'm not sure of the norm for this kind of thing?

        Secretly I'm hoping that it doesn't cone up again and I'm worrying for nothing

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        • #5
          not trivializing your concerns, as dh and i were raised as catholics (attended catholic schools, had all the sacraments etc, but have since become disgusted and turned off the church as an institution and don’t really consider religion central or necessary to our lives), but i would honestly just see this as a phase. he’s obviously heard something off his friend at school and it’s a new concept and he’s probably just trying it out. maybe it’s a way to bring it up at home? i’d just use it as a cue to have a dialogue around it but i wouldn’t pay too much attention to the “argh god” comments. i’d ignored and i think you’ll find he will lose interest and move on.

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          • #6
            Oh I hear you.. My teenager (although the kids do go to a Lutheran private school, so we arent anti-religion, it has it's place) was introduced to the Evangelical Christian movement through a friend's parent and has really taken off with it on a radical tangent. Still, worse things he could be doing I guess.

            You could mention that God gave people free will, which means the ability to make their own choices about things so it isnt God making anyone do stuff it is themselves.
            Last edited by Mummamania; 27-01-2019, 07:12.
            "This too, shall pass."

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            • #7
              I would take some time to educate him. It's not really a school issue, or an issue to be discussed with the other family.
              I would just start with asking your son what he knows about God, talk to him about how there are many different Gods and beliefs and why people have religion in their lives. I would explain that you are a non believer (I am too), and why you don't believe. I would let him know that even if he wants to believe in God, there would be no way a God could be responsible for his immediate actions (like the spilt water).
              FWIW I had a super religious friend as a kid. I tried it out for a couple of weeks but apart from those two weeks I've always been an atheist!

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              • #8
                Don’t all public schools have scripture? Or is it just nsw?

                I know dd1 has scripture at her public school, I had to sign an opt out form if I didn’t want her going. Unfortunately they are still not allowed to offer an alternative class or allow them to do anything meaningful if they opt out so like many other parents in the grade reluctantly accepted she would do scripture.

                As tc said, I wouldn’t read much into it (also a non following/believing catholic here). I also went through a phase of being a born again Christian lol. Dd1 mentions god, Jesus etc a bit thanks to scripture but I’m happy to let her figure out her own beliefs.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
                  Don’t all public schools have scripture? Or is it just nsw?

                  I know dd1 has scripture at her public school, I had to sign an opt out form if I didn’t want her going. Unfortunately they are still not allowed to offer an alternative class or allow them to do anything meaningful if they opt out so like many other parents in the grade reluctantly accepted she would do scripture.

                  As tc said, I wouldn’t read much into it (also a non following/believing catholic here). I also went through a phase of being a born again Christian lol. Dd1 mentions god, Jesus etc a bit thanks to scripture but I’m happy to let her figure out her own beliefs.
                  We did R.E when I was in school which was optional by the parents. But neither of my boys public schools do it.

                  My son asked all the big questions last year. And I asked him what he thought god was. And he pretty much told me that it didn't seem 'logical'
                  I further to explain, that some people believe it is and that it's important to respect their beliefs, and in turn respect yours.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
                    Don’t all public schools have scripture? Or is it just nsw?

                    I know dd1 has scripture at her public school, I had to sign an opt out form if I didn’t want her going. Unfortunately they are still not allowed to offer an alternative class or allow them to do anything meaningful if they opt out so like many other parents in the grade reluctantly accepted she would do scripture.

                    As tc said, I wouldn’t read much into it (also a non following/believing catholic here). I also went through a phase of being a born again Christian lol. Dd1 mentions god, Jesus etc a bit thanks to scripture but I’m happy to let her figure out her own beliefs.
                    We live in NSW. Our kids did ethics instead of Scripture.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Full House View Post
                      We live in NSW. Our kids did ethics instead of Scripture.
                      They are hoping to introduce ethics this year as an alternative but it’s something our school is still trying to organise.

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                      • #12
                        Being 7yo, his friend may have interpreted it incorrectly from where ever he was taught, or, he could have told your son the correct thing and he has interpreted it incorrectly.

                        If it is bothering you, sit down with him and have a chat. I would ask him what he knows and to explain what he thinks to you. Then you can let him know that saying certain things are offensive and if he is going to talk about godnthen he cannot talk in that certain way. Let him know how others feel and how you feel by the way he is talking. If he has questions, you can research them together.

                        Then, next time it happens, just shut it down. DS1, we are not to speak in that way.

                        Anyway, I wouldn't be bringing it up with the principal. I probably wouldn't even talk to the teacher. However, if you have a chat to the teacher, maybe they can have a class discussion about religion to help weed out false ideas?

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                        • #13
                          If he is getting preached to at school by another child I would talk to class teacher if it arises again. If it is happening on playdates etc then I would talk with the mother (well I probably wouldn't) and my child.

                          I would have a chat with your son about taking responsibility for his own action and choices.

                          Really frustrates me kids preaching to kids. DD had a friend who would preach to her on a regular basis a few years ago. After growing up in an ultra conservative Christian home (no tv, no movies, only wear skirts and have long hair) I want my children as far away as possible!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
                            They are hoping to introduce ethics this year as an alternative but it’s something our school is still trying to organise.
                            Our kids primary school was all over ethics...atheist principal was fairly quick to bring it in as a suitable alternative for the atheist parents. We had loads more kids doing ethics than scripture.

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                            • #15
                              7yo obsessed with God-NON religious family/upbringing.

                              Originally posted by Little Miss Sunshine View Post
                              Don’t all public schools have scripture? Or is it just nsw?

                              I know dd1 has scripture at her public school, I had to sign an opt out form if I didn’t want her going. Unfortunately they are still not allowed to offer an alternative class or allow them to do anything meaningful if they opt out so like many other parents in the grade reluctantly accepted she would do scripture.

                              As tc said, I wouldn’t read much into it (also a non following/believing catholic here). I also went through a phase of being a born again Christian lol. Dd1 mentions god, Jesus etc a bit thanks to scripture but I’m happy to let her figure out her own beliefs.
                              There are ethics classes but not all schools have enough volunteers.

                              My kids do non-scripture. There is a demand for ethics at their school but no volunteers. They’re always asking for volunteers in the newsletter. The training to be an ethics teacher is something like 2 days so the delivery would vary. Scripture classes do not have to be supervised by a teacher from the school. In other words, if there’s no teacher in there, the scripture volunteer could be spouting anything. For this reason I choose non-scripture for my kids. They might be doing nothing but at least they’re with a qualified teacher from the school.
                              Last edited by BigRedV; 27-01-2019, 17:43.

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