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Device use for kids as a reward rather than a right

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  • Device use for kids as a reward rather than a right

    My kids have developed a mentality that iPads and our computer are for use whenever, regardless of their behaviour and their attitudes when we say no to using them are horrendous. DD especially won’t acknowledge that they are a privilege and not a right. I want to start implementing specific chores (on top of their standard chores) that are optional but need to be done before they can have a device. Just wondering if anyone else has this system and what the rules are, e.g. does a particular task get more device time than another? Is there a daily limit? Does it include TV too?

    Thank you [emoji4]

  • #2
    I have found that tempting things in the house just weigh on DD’s mind and she can’t think of anything but that thing. She has an ‘all or nothing’ type approach. Not with iPads or TV but, for example, if there are lollies in the house she will bug me every 5 seconds for one and have meltdowns if she doesn’t get what she wants. But if we don’t have any lollies in the house she’s fine. I have resorted to simply throwing stuff in the bin when she gets like that - she screams for 2 mins and then is fine because that ‘thing’ she wanted is no longer feasible to get.

    Not sure if that is totally on topic or useful - I was simply trying to say perhaps getting rid of the iPads altogether might get you some peace.


    • #3
      this sounds a bit like ds. he will not let up if there is something he wants, no matter how much we explain no or not now, it’s not available etc. this morning he kept hammering us to buy a “horsche” (porsche) because he saw an electric car online and decided we need it today 🤣🤣

      i do find all or nothing works best too. once he’s allowed a bit, he finds it very difficult to give it up.

      what about a visual checklist of things that need to happen before she can have the ipad? like depending on the time of day, needs to have breakfast, clean teeth, get dressed, tidy her bedroom, make bed, whatever other tasks or chores she needs to do, then there’s ipad time. would that work?


      • #4
        Device use for kids as a reward rather than a right

        Yep - we always had this rule and it’s just life so he never complains, no iPad , Xbox or talking to friends (they zoom on the iPad 🤣) on school nights or Sundays after lunch (as that’s family time) so that leaves Friday night (we get home about 6pm Fridays, any time Saturday after sport and Sunday mornings - during holidays in lock down it changed to iPad and face times can happen any time as long as one hour of reading and one hour of exercise is done a day , with home leaning in lock down we allow an hour after schools done - usually 2pm to zoom and play Roblox with his mates - he’s only ten so hoping this can last but school actually recommended those times which is great as all his mates pretty much have the same rules - we don’t allow iPads at dinner or in the car unless it’s a long drive - oh tv allowed on in the mornings before school and after dinner , we’ve been watching a few shows as a family at night which is nice (big brother /ninja warrior/kobra Kai /Little Rock
        Last edited by Elijahs Mum; 21-07-2021, 21:42.


        • #5
          We tried to go down this path, but as DH and I are both tech junkies it’s very hard to enforce as “monkey see monkey do”. We try to model better behaviours and not be on our phones/iPads so much, but it’s a hard habit to break

          DSS no longer has an iPad, as he shorted the one he was using, but he does have an Xbox and a switch and plays on an old PC with DH. Our rules are:

          - 2 hours of screen time automatically on the Xbox each day - this can be used for games or watching TV. If he uses that he can ask for more, but more is contingent on behaviour and chores. However it doesn’t work before 9am or after 7pm. He can ask permission to play on the Switch outside these hours. The extra time is given in blocks of 1 or 2 hours, with more chores/good behaviour needed for further extensions

          - can only play on PC when dad is there (helps that it’s in DH’s office) and only play approved games

          - car trips of 1 hour or more he can play the Switch

          We don’t let him play anything online or watch YouTube. Which his mother does - he plays Fortnite, Roblox etc at her house and watches YouTube but we don’t allow it. We’ve also got everything locked down so he can’t get any games or apps without approval.


          • #6
            I'm a shocker for procrastinating over house work, so I made myself a rule no Playstation until everything is done.
            The same rule applies to the boy, he has to help me get everything done, he has his jobs while I do other things.
            Once everything is done after dinner, he can have some time on the Playstation, but has to be finished by 7.30pm.
            During school holidays and weekends, he can spend as much time as he likes, but only as long as all the house work is done, dishwasher in unloaded, his room is clean and everything else is in it's place.
            There has only been one instance so far I've had to stop him playing, but I do genuinely believe he forgot the job, since he did it straight away with no complaint.