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  • COVID-19 (Coronavirus) chat #4

    Originally posted by Kalina View Post
    One of the things this whole pandemic-management-lockdown-business indirectly exposes is the disproportionate mental health issue we seem to have. This is completely generally speaking, but even going back to the first, relatively mild lockdown - why are so many people in our society just a few weeks of being cooped up with their nearest and dearest away from mental breakdown? Is it the pressure of wanting to emerge from this unscathed, economically, educationally, socially? I don't know. I really feel for Victorians right now, and I hope the mental health support will help people.
    I've read this post a few times and don't quite understand what you mean. Are you saying that staying home for a few weeks was the straw that broke the camel's back and exposed mental health issues in a lot of people? or something else?

  • #2
    Personally, I just think that it's just adding another layer of stress people don't need... it's hard enough being a parent, let alone trying to be a full time parent, hold down a job, play teacher, run a house.... I'm not so sure that's a mental health issue as such, just a new degree of stress on families that they wouldn't otherwise have if their children were going to school/ kinder/childcare.

    I think if you took any single responsibility away most people would cope fine. Aka they can cook, clean, run a house and be mum/dad while working, but being a teacher TOO?...no... Or they can teach and be a parent, but running the house as well?....no...

    It's just a dynamic of juggling an extra hat we as a society haven't really had to do on such a large scale. It's perfectly natural to worry about the end outcome of how everyone is going to come out of it. I'd like to think my kids aren't going to have negative effects, but I can't say for sure.

    Ds1 literally whooped and did a happy dance when I said we are home schooling. 🤦‍♀️ I think I died a little inside 😅 but was also kind of proud that he was happy to go again and wasn't dreading it like I am.
    Last edited by shadowangel0205; 04-08-2020, 09:15.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
      I've read this post a few times and don't quite understand what you mean. Are you saying that staying home for a few weeks was the straw that broke the camel's back and exposed mental health issues in a lot of people? or something else?
      I’m not sure exactly what the OP intended but I saw it that COVID has exposed how fragile many peoples mental health was given that this lock down has been the straw that broke the camels back.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
        I've read this post a few times and don't quite understand what you mean. Are you saying that staying home for a few weeks was the straw that broke the camel's back and exposed mental health issues in a lot of people? or something else?
        Yep, as pp said above, exposing the fragility.

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        • #5
          i need to vent. i’m so sick of feeling triggered when i vent/complain about this to my family. specifically my sister, as there’s zero empathy. she just replies back with how easy she found their 6 week lockdown. they were “like your stage 4”. no you weren’t. wa never came close to this (not that it’s a competition but that’s not my point). she chose to keep her kids home, key word being choice. they were still able to go out without a mask, move about freely. businesses were not shut. they chose to stay home and she treated it like some kind of preppers survivalist summer camp. and she’s being really fu cking dismissive of what victoria is currently going through. i get that unless you’re living it, it’s probably hard to grasp how depressing and grim it really feels, but far out, just respond with gosh that does sound really hard, are you ok? not smugly replying with “oh we had fun, we found it quite easy”. like stfu. she keeps telling me to do a timetable routine thing for each day which i’m finding really fu cking annoying too, as if breaking up the day into small blocks changes anything. i’ve ignored her unhelpful comments so far but it’s pushing the limits of my patience now.

          any advice or tips? she just comes across as smug and annoying and ignorant. it’s like if you had a friend who was complaining of her crappy hubby, you wouldn’t fly out with “oh mine’s a dream, cooks and cleans and gives me massages on the couch whilst feeding my grapes and wine” would you? no, you’d show some empathy. i don’t want to have my feelings minimized or dismissed. this feels sh itty and it would be nice if that could be acknowledged.

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          • #6
            [MENTION=137853]turquoisecoast[/MENTION] wow she’s really lacking empathy. Maybe reserve your vents / chats about the Victorian situation to others who live there or at least people with empathy!

            I can’t imagine how stifling it must feel and I hope that the cases start to drop quickly so you guys can get some freedoms back.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by shadowangel0205 View Post
              Ds1 literally whooped and did a happy dance when I said we are home schooling. 🤦‍♀️ I think I died a little inside 😅 but was also kind of proud that he was happy to go again and wasn't dreading it like I am.
              Clearly you made it too much fun for him 😁. One of the mums at school was telling me that her daughter didn't want to go back last time when schools reopened, her grandma had been home schooling - so the mum took over for a week, and just like that real school seemed far more appealing...

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              • #8
                [MENTION=137853]turquoisecoast[/MENTION] I would just tell her that you hope she doesn't have to find out what a hard lockdown really feels like, and that it's nice when you have the choice of dabbling in it when you don't actually have to.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by JR03 View Post
                  [MENTION=137853]turquoisecoast[/MENTION] wow she’s really lacking empathy. Maybe reserve your vents / chats about the Victorian situation to others who live there or at least people with empathy!

                  I can’t imagine how stifling it must feel and I hope that the cases start to drop quickly so you guys can get some freedoms back.
                  she’s usually like this with me. it feels like some weird competitive thing, she always refuses to acknowledge my struggles. or wins. eg: we paid our car off last week, it was only the last $400. instead of just oh congrats, she replies with “church money”. there’s always a subtle put down or backhanded compliment. she has no real close female friends, hangs out with our cousin lots, but no real close female friends. sort of derides the fact i bothered to keep close with my mothers group, retorts she “doesn’t have time for superficial friendships” when i mention my little support network. just stuff like that. i almost expect it from her now but it still bothers me.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Kalina View Post
                    [MENTION=137853]turquoisecoast[/MENTION] I would just tell her that you hope she doesn't have to find out what a hard lockdown really feels like, and that it's nice when you have the choice of dabbling in it when you don't actually have to.
                    this! ill quote you verbatim. dabbling in its summarizes it perfectly. the ability to choose which aspects of the “disaster” to apply to
                    your own life are nice privilege. but stop playing games and pretending you know what it’s like.

                    like she was telling me oh if it all went down here in wa, we’d go to our parents place, safety in numbers etc. that alone is so ignorant because in a true state of disaster, you’re restricted from traveling anywhere. it’s like she thinks she can just up and go, regardless of the fact that police are enforcing stay at home directives. it’s like she thinks i’m just complaining because it’s a bit hard, she really doesn’t get it.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by turquoisecoast View Post
                      she’s usually like this with me. it feels like some weird competitive thing, she always refuses to acknowledge my struggles. or wins. eg: we paid our car off last week, it was only the last $400. instead of just oh congrats, she replies with “church money”. there’s always a subtle put down or backhanded compliment. she has no real close female friends, hangs out with our cousin lots, but no real close female friends. sort of derides the fact i bothered to keep close with my mothers group, retorts she “doesn’t have time for superficial friendships” when i mention my little support network. just stuff like that. i almost expect it from her now but it still bothers me.
                      Do you like her or do you maintain the relationship because there’s a family obligation to do so? Actually I’m now thinking we might have already had this conversation a while ago... I don’t want to say much because this is public but I don’t get along with my sister, similar to yours, she really has no friends (can’t really maintain long term relationships, thinks a disagreement means the whole friendship has to end), puts me down, etc. so I just don’t talk to her unless I run into her at my parents house. It is so good that there’s no expectation from either of us that we maintain a friendship. We’re not even Facebook friends anymore.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by turquoisecoast View Post
                        this! ill quote you verbatim. dabbling in its summarizes it perfectly. the ability to choose which aspects of the “disaster” to apply to
                        your own life are nice privilege. but stop playing games and pretending you know what it’s like.

                        like she was telling me oh if it all went down here in wa, we’d go to our parents place, safety in numbers etc. that alone is so ignorant because in a true state of disaster, you’re restricted from traveling anywhere. it’s like she thinks she can just up and go, regardless of the fact that police are enforcing stay at home directives. it’s like she thinks i’m just complaining because it’s a bit hard, she really doesn’t get it.
                        Big hugs hun.
                        Living in the other end of the country where everything is open. Masks are a foreign concept to most people. In reality I have no idea how it feels like to live there atm. I have 2 dds that tell me about it but its not the same.

                        Dd got out of work last night (way after the curfew) and all of sudden there is no train to get home for 2 freaking hours. Her work train station station is one that in middle of not very well lit streets. Its late at night and she got no way home. She ended taking a expensive uber.

                        So while i hear their stories and their hear the worries they have I can never fully understand what it is like.

                        It's not hard to try and understand. I am sorry your sister is not even trying.

                        If you want someone to listen and not judge feel free to pm me.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
                          Big hugs hun.
                          Living in the other end of the country where everything is open. Masks are a foreign concept to most people. In reality I have no idea how it feels like to live there atm. I have 2 dds that tell me about it but its not the same.

                          Dd got out of work last night (way after the curfew) and all of sudden there is no train to get home for 2 freaking hours. Her work train station station is one that in middle of not very well lit streets. Its late at night and she got no way home. She ended taking a expensive uber.

                          So while i hear their stories and their hear the worries they have I can never fully understand what it is like.

                          It's not hard to try and understand. I am sorry your sister is not even trying.

                          If you want someone to listen and not judge feel free to pm me.
                          thanks lovely.

                          see that’s just it, i fully don’t expect her to understand fully. how can she. but if someone is a bit down and out, acknowledge those feelings as real and valid (because they are), don’t crash in and compare to your own experience, which is not even relevant nor helpful.

                          i heard about the trains and thought about people like your dd. how scary to get out after dark and no train for 2 hours. i get why they’ve done it but it creates logistical and safety issues for people like your dd.

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                          • #14
                            Finally got DD2 seen by a doctor now that she has a negative covid result. Poor darling needed antibiotics for bronchitis

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by JR03 View Post
                              Do you like her or do you maintain the relationship because there’s a family obligation to do so? Actually I’m now thinking we might have already had this conversation a while ago... I don’t want to say much because this is public but I don’t get along with my sister, similar to yours, she really has no friends (can’t really maintain long term relationships, thinks a disagreement means the whole friendship has to end), puts me down, etc. so I just don’t talk to her unless I run into her at my parents house. It is so good that there’s no expectation from either of us that we maintain a friendship. We’re not even Facebook friends anymore.
                              i think perhaps we have discussed this before. i definitely remember the bits and pieces you’ve said about your relationship with your sister.

                              for us, we are reasonably close. but there’s this undercurrent almost of, i don’t know, competitiveness? i’m two years older. i feel like she’s always trying to be a bit smug (about certain things) towards me. other stuff we are fine, talk normally about. but just certain topics seem to trigger this strange response in her and she acts a bit weird, either tries to be pious and holier than thou or behaves dismissively (like in this instance).

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