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Do you try to spend equally on others as they spend on DS/DD?

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  • Do you try to spend equally on others as they spend on DS/DD?

    Do you always try to buy others/other children a present to the same value as what you receive/your children receive if you can afford it?

    If I can afford it I always try to make sure I buy something around the same value and I feel bad if I know I have spent significantly less.
    Yes (if I can afford it)
    Yes (family/close friends only)

  • #2
    We have family limits for buying for others, $30 per adult or child, that way we don't have that awkward moment where A gets a $70 present and C gets a $25 present.


    • #3
      That's a good way of doing it

      I buy what I think will suit the child and try to spend the same across the board on each child (my children get a gift at home and a gift with the family) we all have different limits and as a family we understand this so far not had any issues we aren't very material


      • #4
        I only buy for 3 children at the moment, and they are the kids of two of my best friends.

        One of them I will spend a lot more on than the other two, because the mother of the first child I know will spend a fair bit on DS.

        Don't get me wrong, I am more than happy to spend the same amount on the other two, however their mother isn't as well off and last year she was a bit embarrassed that I had spent so much on her kids, and she hadn't spent much on DS at all so it is out of consideration for her than me making sure I get bang for my buck!


        • #5
          I used to - but my SIL just kept upping the ante and the rest of us couldn't or didn't want to spend that much a head. I think now I spend between $30-$50 a child


          • #6
            We normally spend around 50 per person adult or child, it's a sorta unwritten thing we all just know that's the amount.

            For significant bdays we might spend more or all chip in and get something bigger.

            I would feel awkward if I only spent say 20-30 and other person spent 70-80!


            • #7
              I think setting a limit before is a great idea! I must remember that one for next year.

              DS's father brought spent $100 each on his niece and nephew, I also brought them a present each however DS's aunty has only spent about a quarter of what was spent on her children. It irks me not so much the money aspect but she didn't even try to buy him something he would really like .

              ETA: She only has one nephew!!!


              • #8
                No we're just happy to buy what's within our budgets, I have 2 nephews and 5 nieces add in my 3 and that's 9 other children for 2 of my brothers to buy for or 10 for 1 to buy for and we all have different incomes so it doesn't seem fair. We do only buy for children though.

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                • #9
                  No I spend to my budget not anyone else's.


                  • #10
                    my SIL and i have discussed once we both had children (we both have 2) that xmas & birthday present limit is $30 for the kids and $50 a couple for adults.


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by loving6 View Post
                      No I spend to my budget not anyone else's.
                      I'm with that.

                      If someone bought me (or jasper) something incredibly thoughtful and expensive I think I'd try to push my budget or rack my brain for the best gift on a budget I could get for them, but we have a pretty set budget - its not really an option to spend a lot on gifts. Regardless of what might be bought for us it doesn't change the basic maths that say whether or not we could afford to match their gift in monetary value.


                      • #12
                        I can't help myself I always go over budget.

                        What irked me about b/sil is they expect expensive things but don't give the same or even think about giving. Last Christmas I bought a gift for their belly baby(cheap gift) and they completely ignored DS(9 months)and our other niece(2weeks) when giving gifts. This year I have spent about $60 and I know they will only 20ish and as long as there is thought behind the gift I'll be I console myself with the fact the will end up spending around the same on my kids(I want 4) as I will spend on theirs(they want 2)

                        DH's family suck at gift giving


                        • #13
                          I try and spend about the same but its not always possible but i try my hardest. I got one more gift to get when i get back to brissy. I almost have it perfected with what i am buying but i dont think it will add up to what was spent on us but i am trying to spend about the same, perhaps a little more for that something special.

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                          • #14
                            I spend within my own budget