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Our wish for a baby, can you help?

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  • Our wish for a baby, can you help?

    Well here we are putting up our hand and asking for such a special favour.

    I’ve been looking around all the posts here and have been nervous about putting this request out. Why?....we are a couple who dearly want another baby. We have 2 children both achieved after many, many hard years and with the help of IVF.

    When I read through the stories of other women here looking for a donor I was very close to just not asking, but our yearning is still there, still wishing and hoping.

    Every month I hope that perhaps my body will miraculously produce a good egg but know that my chances are impossible. It breaks my heart that I just can’t do this now on my own.

    Do I have the right to ask for help? I don’t know the answer, but do know that I had to ask. Any woman out there that is hoping for a child please know that whether it’s your first or second the wishing and hoping doesn’t change.

    I’ve found that all my success in my career is absolutely nothing compared to being a mother. I would gladly swap any material benefit for the opportunity to just be able to say to DH, come over here and let’s have another baby.

    After months of soul searching and thinking of nothing else, I’ve finally put out this request.

    In goes without saying that all expense would be paid and happy to hear from anyone interstate. We live in Sydney.

    Wishing everyone here that is waiting for a child in their arms all the very best. If some-one could find it in their heart to respond to us we would be eternally grateful.
    Ashanti

  • #2
    Hi, con grats on getting your add up, I know how hard just doing that can be.
    you are right, it doesnt matter if you have had children or not if you long to hold a baby in your arms the pain of not being able to havve one on your own is still the same.
    I hope you find the answer to your hopes and dreams.

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    • #3
      Thank you, it's taken me a long time to ask for help and I was so grateful to get your kind words.

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      • #4
        It isnt easy to ask for help, I know how hard it was for me.
        Have you joined ausiee egg donoers? that is another good forum, it is a closed forum so you have to join and be aproved but, it is worth it. You can find a lot of help and suport there and it is purely for poeple like us.
        Essential Babay is another place you can put an add as well.
        remeber to post often and every where that way any angels reading yur posts and thread can get to know you better and that way you angel will find you.
        Just because you already have children doesnt mean it hurts any less when you cant have more, there are a lot of poeple out there like that and they understand your pain.

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        • #5
          Giving you a bumpity bump

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          • #6
            Thanks Heather, need all the help I can get...much appreciated.
            Ashanti

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            • #7
              Beautifully written, I hope that you find your angel to help you both fill that void. You are right even if you already have kids, you still have to wish for another, so why not ask for help.

              Fingers are crossed that you wont have to wait very long

              xxx

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              • #8
                Originally posted by ashanti View Post

                Do I have the right to ask for help? I don’t know the answer, but do know that I had to ask. Any woman out there that is hoping for a child please know that whether it’s your first or second the wishing and hoping doesn’t change.

                Ashanti


                Absolutely you do! I'm not in the same boat, but travelling the same river. My husband has a genetic disorder and can't produce sperm, so we need a donor too. I have 2 beautiful kids from a previous relationship and in the last few days posted here about how hurtful it was when people say I "should be happy" with the 2 we have.
                I feel for you as I know exactly what the yearning for another child feels like

                I hope you find your angel soon xxxx

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                • #9
                  Hi ashanti, I was just on AED and there is a woman on there who has twin boys and I am sure she has found her ED because she wants another child.
                  You shouldnt be ashamed or afraid to have more children.
                  I have 3 grown up children from a past marrige, my youngest is 23yrs But, it hasnt stoped me from longinf to have another child for the last 22years.
                  I just hope it doesnt take you as long as it is takeing me to have that child.
                  If you dont do it now you will go through life with regrets, and believe me that is no way to live.

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                  • #10
                    Hey Ashanti,

                    Well done on posting your ad. Best of luck on your search for an Angel xxx

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                    • #11
                      Thank you all so much for your support. I was hoping that I wouldn't be seen as ungrateful. I did feel like just slinking away quietly until I got your responses. It really did assure me that I shouldn't be ashamed to want another baby.

                      I had some advice from a member that maybe I should tell a bit more of my story, so here it is.

                      This is my second marriage. My first husband was a cruel man and unfortunately I suffered quite a few beatings from him before I managed to make the break. When you are in your early twenties you don’t have the wisdom or confidence to do this easily.

                      It took me a long, long time to get over that and I didn’t think I would be able to trust anyone else, let alone have children. Until I met DH. What joy to finally feel safe and secure. We of course decided to have children. Well it just didn’t work and didn’t work and then we went down the IVF path. Unexplained fertility, bad eggs, whatever….. it seemed like we were just not destined to have children.

                      Well after 5 years it finally worked and we got a baby. We thought okay we have finally got it right and tried again but were then advised it would be easier to just go down the donor path. We decided against this as we thought if it was at all possible on our own, we would rather keep trying instead of having to ask for help. Another 5 years later and many IVF attempts and a few miscarriages later but it finally happened.

                      But now we finally have to put out our hand for help. It certainly isn’t easy, but the joy of motherhood makes it all worthwhile.

                      I'm hoping this may help any donors out there considering us.
                      Last edited by ashanti; 03-05-2011, 11:40.

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                      • #12
                        Well done on putting for about yourself out there. It isnt easy but, it will help.
                        I know how hard it is for some of us to open up.
                        I am happy that like me you have found a good man. Your angel will find you soon.

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                        • #13
                          Hi Ashanti,
                          Never feel guilty for wanting another child we all understand where you are at and FYI I loved your Post it shows who you are so well done..I am looking forward to following your journey and I am hopeful you wont be waiting too long
                          Trish

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                          • #14
                            Thanks Trish. You must be sooo excited getting closer to starting the cycle. Hoping and praying for you.
                            Ashanti

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                            • #15
                              Yes excited and nervous we have EA ultrasound today so we will have more information for our next decision as the bloods were low we are both hpeful it is because of her merina and the ultra sound should confirm this for us and onto the next step
                              XXXXXX

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