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Ttc wwyd

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  • Ttc wwyd

    Slight spin off from my Bali thread.
    My good friend has talked about getting married next year in Bali ( in dry season so mid year).
    We were planning on ttc in august so at best we have a May baby ( so 2 years between 1st and 2nd then 2.5 years between 2nd and 3rd). This would be great for her timing as Bub would be a few months old.
    Now here's my wwyd? I'm not comfortable and you all confirmed taking a small child to Bali not best option, so now I'm thinking of waiting until after, but that then puts 3.5 years between 2nd and 3rd is that too much of a gap?

  • #2
    can't really comment on the age gap as i am about to have 3 and bit years between number 2 and 3 but pregnancy wise it has been a lot easier.

    Also have you factored in the time for test for Zika virus and other mosquito born viruses upon return??
    As a friend just went to bali and has to wait 4 months after returning to get a blood test to see if she has it before her and her DH start trying for a baby. if it is obviously positive they will been waiting 5 years to have kids. plus going while pregnant isn't also safe for contraction the Zika virus or any other mosquito born viruses so that may rule out that option also.

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    • #3
      I don't think you can put your life on hold just because a friend is getting married. Something will always come up to make you question the right time. If you are ready for another baby I'd suggest you do it.

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      • #4
        I personally wouldn't put TTCing on hold for a wedding however I don't think 3.5 years is a big gap either. My first 4 are all born in 5 years (2years,10months,2years) and when I finally get a sticky one it will be a 6 year gap. (I was going to reply to your Bali thread but I'll do it all in one. My brother has business in Bali, his partner is part Indonesian and they've frequently taken their children from newborn to Bali. They travel a few times a year with no issues. I know my SIL has said, this was ages ago though, that checking the seals of bottled water if bub is on formula is a must. Don't use boiled tap water. )

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        • #5
          If it were me I'd go ahead with my TTC plans and give the wedding a miss.
          DS1 – 10, DD1 – 9, DS2 – 7, DS3 - 4

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          • #6
            Originally posted by BeauOliver View Post
            can't really comment on the age gap as i am about to have 3 and bit years between number 2 and 3 but pregnancy wise it has been a lot easier.

            Also have you factored in the time for test for Zika virus and other mosquito born viruses upon return??
            As a friend just went to bali and has to wait 4 months after returning to get a blood test to see if she has it before her and her DH start trying for a baby. if it is obviously positive they will been waiting 5 years to have kids. plus going while pregnant isn't also safe for contraction the Zika virus or any other mosquito born viruses so that may rule out that option also.
            Thank you had not factored in this risk. We won't be going pregnant

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            • #7
              I'd Ttc. I'd put my family before a wedding.

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              • #8
                I wouldn't put ttc on hold.

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                • #9
                  I would not put major life plans on hold for a friend getting married overseas. It's really nice that you want to go but I think when people decide to get married overseas then they need to accept that sometimes people who are important to them just can't come for a variety of reasons.
                  I'd block out the friend wedding date and think about the ideal time for *your family* to have another baby and ttc based on that and go from there.

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                  • #10
                    I got married over seas and my best friend who was going to be my maid of honour called me a few months before the wedding to say "I'm sorry I can't go, I'm pregnant" and you know what I said?

                    I said congratulations! That's amazing news! When are you due?

                    I was bummed that she couldn't stand beside me for my wedding, but her having a baby was so much more important! Don't get me wrong, if I hear someone umming and ahhing about whether to go to a friends destination wedding I tell them they'd be stupid not to go, there's something so special about going on holidays with a large group of friends and family, but don't put your plans on hold for someone else's.

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                    • #11
                      I wouldn't put it on hold but if attending the wedding is super important to you, I also dont think a 3.5 yr age gap is a bad thing. It's what's between my two and there's nothing I would say has been problematic about it at all.

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                      • #12
                        That age gap imo isnt big at all....however that aside, i wouldnt put my own family plans on hold for a wedding. So much can happen in that time anyway so i say go for it and deal with it when it is closer to the event. Her wedding plans could change and getting pregnant may take longer than expected. Either way, best of luck .

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