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12 year gap??

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  • #16
    Thanks for all your answers it's good to see different sides of it. I will do my best to make her feel included with everything and I agree it depends on personality also. If anything in hoping it will bring me even closer to dd as I will be able to be at home and pick her up from school and spend more time with her, instead of working full time and coming home tired, will see how it goes 😀


    • #17
      Originally posted by sugarplum11 View Post
      Hi just wanted to know if anyone else has been in my situation and how it worked for them. My husband and I had our 1st daughter when we were 19. We are now 31 and are finally in the position to have another child. I'm wondering if anyone else has left a gap this big between children?
      We had our first when I was 17, DH was 19. It wasn't until I was 29 (and DS 12) that we finally welcomed our second child.
      DS is now 16, DD 3, and the bond between them is incredible. He absolutely cherishes his little sister and is just amazing with her.
      For me, I'd avoided having a second baby because I'd suffered debilitating depression and anxiety after my first baby; I'd had it since childhood but the reality of becoming a mum so young magnified it and for the first 5 years of his life I was in a very low state and, while I reveled in motherhood and found it came quite natural, my anxiety was out of control (I've since discovered that I was suffering with post natal psychosis at one stage) so much so that I swore off ever having another baby.
      All through my second pregnancy I feared I'd get it again. I was resigned to the fact that I'd be an absolute mess mentally after she was born and my OB and doctors had it on file and I was monitored throughout my pregnancy and after the birth. Miraculously, the dreaded anxiety never came. I was walking on air the minute she was born and to be honest, I wish I'd done it sooner. I would have loved to have had two close in age but the thought petrified me.
      The age gap hasn't been an issue for my kids. Obviously the dynamics are different than they would have been if I'd had them a couple of years apart, but they are best friends. DD adores her big brother and they are beautiful together. She has changed our lives, while at one point I couldn't fathom having another child, I just cannot imagine life without her.


      • #18
        There is almost 12 years between my younger sister & I. To be honest I pity my mother for having a terrible two & terrible teen at the same time! But I think that was mostly due to family issues at the time. My Dad had not long moved overseas, and my sister's dad was just an awful person.

        Now that we're older though we get along like the best of friends!

        She has always said though that it was like growing up as an only child.

        But I don't think any of those reasons are reasons not to have another child if you really want one ☺


        • #19
          Oh ya the convenient babysitter thing, don't do that. Hated that.


          • #20
            12 year gap??

            It must depends on the personality of the child(ren) involved.

            One of my best friend has a 11yr gap and she welcomed her new sister like the best thing that ever happened in her life.
            She helped "raise" her little sister and loved that role. They've always been very closed and to this day are the best friends.

            I envy their relationship!


            • #21
              There's 11, 13 and 15 years between me and my brothers. I loved having little brothers, and I get along great with the elder two now! Plus they love DS and are excellent babysitters.


              • #22
                Yes there is 12 years between me and only other sibling and we have both loved every moment! Naturally we dont party together which sucks now and im a mum and she is very young adult doing her thing but we are still close as we both understand the significant age gap is what it is.


                • #23
                  I have big gaps between myself and my siblings, I am 12 years older than my brother and 20 years older than my sister.

                  I love them both, we are all close and never argue! I see no problem with age gaps.


                  • #24
                    I have a 10 year age gap between my daughter and son. It has worked out pretty well so far. She has been a huge help and he adores her