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Over-35s TTC#1 thread 3

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  • Over-35s TTC#1 thread 3


    Hey girls,

    Hope this works and gives us a shiny new thread with many many BFPs and healthy bubs in 2011.

    Been thinking of you all and hoping your holidays were good! For those that had a break from TTC, hopefully it was just what you needed.

    Keziah - yay - bring on the new year and new cycle and Im crossing everything for a sticky BFP this time for you. Did you go to lots of Zumba parties over the Xmas period? How's furbaby?

    PM - so glad bubs is doing well! Yay for the surprise!

    Sarah - hope things are K with you - have you been affected by the floods? They sound pretty terrible. Hope the OS visitors were not too hard to handle and that you and DH got some time to yourselves as well. This has to be your year for a sticky BFP!

    Feebs and Jack - hope you had a good break and may 2011 be the year your TTC journey is successful!

    AFM - all good with bubs, but i am being investigated for a breast lump at the moment, so a bit stressful. The GP thinks its prob benign but wants to check it out, which involves an ultrasound in a few days time and possibly a biopsy depending on that. Trying not to think about that and just hoping the scan looks good...
    The weird thing is my cousin mentioned she'd had one (found to be benign) and that got me thinking - jeez, I havent done a breast check for ages...

    chat to you all later, sending you mucho

  • #2
    Hi girls,

    Thanks Anemone for starting the new thread

    Well the New Year started off good but got worse. I had to cancel my appointment with the FS. I had to have progesterone tested and DP had to have sperm analysis done before FS would see me, so off I troddled and got the necessary referrals for both of us. Even though I got the referral for DP, he was adamantly against doing the testing (this is in spite of the fact that he had said many months ago, before I fell pregnant last April that he had NO problem with it), and said that there's nothing wrong with his swimmers and he would not even entertain the idea, said I got pregnant before so there's obviously nothing wrong with him, and threw the referral back at me!!!!! He's never been tested, so how would he know????? I have been poked, prodded, had surgery, had numerous blood tests and scans done and am taking all necessary vitamins and doing my bit, so I just don't understand how, if DP wants a baby with me as much as he says he does, that he can't go and have one simple test done?????!!!!! I can't force him to do it if he doesn't want to, and if I keep pressing the issue it will probably end our relationship!!!! He has said he won't entertain the idea of IVF either. I'm just so lost about what to do from here/our relationship and am feeling very let down and hurt. I thought that he really wanted a baby as much as I did.....if I can't get him on the same page as me, what's the point to all of this????!!!!


    • #3
      Oh Feebs,
      That's awful.
      My DH had a lot of issues with the whole sperm testing thing too. I remember feeling at the time he should just "man up" given that I was about to have a lap and heaps of blood tests etc. So IKWYM on that front.

      I ended up sugar coating it for him - he did the sample at home and I took it into the lab so no embarrassment on his part (of course when we actually did IVF he had to confront the testing room, but by that time he'd done a couple of sperm tests so it was OK). Would that be an option for you, if you live near enough to the testing center?

      My DH was never entirely comfortable about IVF either, and it did cause relationship issues. In retrospect we should prob have gone to counselling abt it cos the whole thing left me feeling quite unsupported - at times it felt like I was doing the whole thing by myself. But in his favour he realised it was necessary and would never have stood in my way, he just couldnt deal with the clinical side of it...

      I wonder if your DP has just reacted like this in the heat of the moment and whether he will come to his senses when he realises it's not negotiable. Perhaps some written material from the clinic (or somewhere else) might also help to make the point that sperm abnormalities can contribute to miscarriage...And maybe stressing that IVF may not even be needed - but you do need to have a complete picture of what's happening so that you can decide what to do...
      If not, then would he attend counselling with you?

      Sending you lots of


      • #4
        thanks Anemone. I know it's this whole male ego business, so I did suggest to DP about taking his sample to the clinic for him. I did also try and explain to him that it wasn't about me pointing the finger and saying "there's something wrong with you" but that I would like us both to, as you say, have a complete picture and know how best to move forward to make the dream of a baby a reality. Like you also say, I am feeling like I'm totally unsupported and doing this all on my own!!! I even suggested to him that maybe he should talk to his uncle who did many rounds of IVF with his wife, to know what things he could be doing to help....that didn't go down well at all!!!!!!! I may just go to the FS on my own and explain that DP is not going to do sperm analysis, but what can he do to help me?


        • #5
          Hi Girls,
          Just a quickie to let you know I am OK. Will check what you have all been up to when I finally get home. We managed to get rellies out of Bundy on 29th December after hitting flooding on 28th and spent the rest of their holiday down the Gold Coast and Brisbane. Put them on the plane on Saturday but are currently stranded in Tewantin waiting for the Bruce to open again. Still not complaining as we are safe and well - our hearts go out to anyone who has suffered loss.
          AF arrived on cue before Christmas and due again tomorrow. Hopefully the totally relaxed attitude and few bottles of wine have done the trick. Fingers crossed to each one of you for 2011. This will be our year.
          Much love


          • #6
            Hi all,

            Anemone sorry to hear about your lump, when are you expecting your test results. Keeping my that its just all part and parcel of the hormone changes.

            Sarah hope you're able to get home soon. I have friends who had a funeral in Bundy last week, they ended up driving for about 300km extra just to get home. Hopefully things are improving in Gympie and they'll open the highway soon. Hope your house/school are OK.

            Feebs so sorry to hear Dp is being unsupportive, its such a stressful thing to have to go with. Can only suggest you do what you need to do, hopefully he'll come round. Can't figure out that it seems to be OK with men that we get poked, prodded, scraped and examined from every angle but all they are asked to do is look at a few porn mags. (with all due respect to your DH Sarah who I know goes through heaps). Ah well such is a woman's lot to bear.

            Keziah - new thread is here, where are you? Got your dancing shoes on?

            Jacks saw you in the other thread, so glad you are OK. Happy New year! Hope this is the best

            AFM - guessing I wont be going to the hospital for my check up today, all non emergency appointments were cancelled at RBWH yesterday and I'm guessing today will be the same. At least we are safe and dry and on relatively high ground, its looking like Brisbane is going under today. Much love


            • #7
              Hi Feebs, I'm so sorry to hear your DH won't do a SA, if it is any consolation, Andrew won't do one either. He also won't go down the IVF path so unless it happens again for us naturally, it will be a no go for us too. I'm sure your DH wants a baby with you as much as you want one with him, it is just harder for men to accept that there are complications. I really don't think it will cause issues with your relationship - his male ego/pride will allow him to speak to you soon.

              pommie - I hope you and yours are ok lovely. Where in Brisbane are you?
              You are right about my DH, he does get prodded and poked quite a bit, lol.

              anemone - I'm sure your lump will come back with the all clear. The biopsy will be uncomfortable rather than painful but the boobie in question will be very sore afterwards. I had one done about 7 years ago which thankfully came back all clear - they just didn't tell me it would be uncomfortable.

              I hope you are all travelling well and that the yucky weather and flooding is not causing you any major hassles.

              Much love to everyone, all over Australia.


              • #8
                HI girls, just letting you know the lump turned out nothing to worry abt - all clear from the scan, although Ive been advised to keep an eye on it. So relieved - though I was dealing with it but was actually quite stressed...

                Sarah - that must have been nerve wracking with the flooding for you and your rellies. Well I hope that AF does a no-show this month for a very good reason -
                Thanks for your advice on the biospy too - will remember that if I ever have to have one...

                Feebs - hope you're OK.

                PM, Keziah and Jack - hope life is treating you well and you arent affected by the flooding.


                • #9
                  Originally posted by anemone View Post
                  HI girls, just letting you know the lump turned out nothing to worry abt - all clear from the scan, although Ive been advised to keep an eye on it. So relieved - though I was dealing with it but was actually quite stressed...

                  Sarah - that must have been nerve wracking with the flooding for you and your rellies. Well I hope that AF does a no-show this month for a very good reason -
                  Thanks for your advice on the biospy too - will remember that if I ever have to have one...

                  Feebs - hope you're OK.

                  PM, Keziah and Jack - hope life is treating you well and you arent affected by the flooding.
                  Glad you have the all clear, lovely. Nah AF showed up on time as usual, reliable as always. She is the proverbial bad penny,

                  AFM - A friend gave me an article to read today about IVF and a free online pretest that you can do to see what your chances of having a live birth with IVF are. The results are supposed to be 99% accurate but not knowing anything about IVF - I am not totally convinced. I only scored between 10 and 13% based on varying answers and as you all know am able to fall pregnant naturally, it just takes a while . They reckon the test could save couples months/years of emotional heartbreak and financial pain by predicting their chances of success. It was in the Daily Telegraph and was titled "Test IVF success over net", the test is available at I'm not suggesting for a minute that we all do the test and make any decisions based on the test, I'm just sharing info with you. I for one wouldn't stop trying to achieve our dream based on some data on the net.

                  I hope you are all safe and that the floods are staying away from you and your loved ones.

                  Much love


                  • #10
                    Hi Sarah

                    Sorry to hear that AF arrived . She sure cant take the hint that she's unwelcome...

                    Thanks for posting that link, very interesting. I think you're absolutely right to take it with a huge grain of salt though. I did the test, pretending it was last Mar and we were abt to have our first cycle of IVF. It came up as 20%, but my FS had previously said my chances were lower than 10%, prob more like 7-10% per cycle. Mainly b/c of the v low ovarian reserve (which they dont ask you abt on the test)... And, wierdly, they gave only a 21% chance per cycle using donor eggs - I dont understand how they calculate that at all!

                    So Im sure it is potentially out by quite a bit in either direction. For you I think your chances would be higher than predicted by that test, given that you have had natural conceptions and pregnancies.

                    Makes you wonder if they will refine this sort of thing - and make it more accurate.

                    I know a friend of mine also helped develop an online cancer predictor test and she said too that it was so generalised and really didnt give an accurate reading....

                    Hope everyone's well & adjusting to going back to work if you're working....
                    Last edited by anemone; 18-01-2011, 12:18. Reason: added


                    • #11
                      mmmmm interesting!!! Sarah, I just took the quiz in the link you provided and it says 13% chance!!!!


                      • #12
                        Happy New Year all lovely ladies!!

                        Hi girls, Hope anyone affected by the floods is safe, and my thoughts go out to all in flood affected areas.
                        Hi Anemone, I am glad your biopsy came out good, I had a lump this time last year and had to do the biopsy etc..$$!! better to be on the safe side. Hoping you pregnancy is going well.
                        Feebs S*@T!!! I swear some men are ruled by their ego, they can be really precious sometimes and its almost always about them. Its more about crossing out all the reasons WHY pregnancy isn't occurring, not about how strong their sperm is for everyone to talk about. Then its about finding the best way for you to deal with the best way to get pregnant. why can't they understand? its hard I know. A few things I have found out (which I would not have if I wasn't doing IVF) My eggs are poor quality.No matter how many they harvest I usually only end up with 1 that successfully fertilises. Also my immune system has higher than normal killer anti-bodies which is possibly why my body keeps rejecting embryos.Ok now new cycle starting next time AF comes, & I am on more drugs to address these issues. I wish you all the best for convincing your man to come around.xx
                        PM, and Sarah I hope you are both well, my AF is always too punctual for my liking also!! Keziah hows things with you and your furbaby?
                        Gals look into DHEA it is what I am taking to hopefully help eggs improve.
                        I am going to try that quiz lol lets see what it predicts!!
                        Also if anyone in sydney needs some puregon, I have some unopened to save you buying it, still valid until 10/2011 & 2012.

                        love you all,


                        • #13
                          lol 7.5% oh joy!! well its better than 0%


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by jackdemps View Post
                            lol 7.5% oh joy!! well its better than 0%
                            Hi Jen,
                            Crap stats eh??? I read in your last post about your killer anti - bodies. Please, please, please seriously consider reading/buying Eat Right 4 Your Type. I truly believe if you eat the right food for your body these issues can be addresses. My cousin swapped her life to ER4YT and within 2 months managed to conceive naturally - sadly it didn't stick but it was certainly a step in the right direction especially considering she had 5 failed IVF attempts. She is patiently waiting for the next little sticky and is not only feeling amazing she is losing weight too. I practise what I preach and for maybe 90% I ER4YT.
                            Good luck sweetie.

                            AFM - All special ed funding has been cut, numbers are down too... we are losing a teacher and a bit. Guess who might be that teacher???? Ah well, who gives a........ life really is too short to worry about it. I will still have my job just in another school.

                            Much love to you all.


                            • #15
                              Jen - I swear DHEA was the main reason behind my BFP. I had a v low ovarian reserve (AMH = 4.5, should have been 10 for a 37 y.o., antral follie count only 5-7 - again, should have been at least twice that). After 3-4 months of taking it, my antral follie count increased a lot (19) and that was my successful cycle.

                              I hope it works for you too. GL for this cycle!

                              Sarah - DHEA is usually prescribed by a FS - and many are not up to speed on it. A GP could prescribe it theoretically but many dont have the knowledge. Have you ever had your ovarian reserve checked (AMH blood test) - it is a bit confronting, but could be useful in determining if it would be good for your situation.

                              That's full on abt your school and the cuts. Perhaps you might be happier elsewhere though, given all the crap that's been happenign at your school.

                              Keziah - where are you babes, playing in the sun with furbaby and zumba-ing away hopefully! Sending you

                              to feebs and PM.
                              Feebs have you decided what to do abt FS appt?