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  • Grieving (Hope I've posted in right place)

    After Five years (off and on) of trying home insem,IUI, IVF with donor eggs etc I'm handing the baton back over to my my wife for #3 people say I'm lucky to have my wife.

    How do I deal with "getting to old" money running out, stopping my journey my knowing I will NEVER be birth Mum when it has been my dream from when I was a small child. I've watched, helped so many Mums with my work with babies yet I will never have this joy of carrying or feeling a baby inside me or breastfeed etc.

    I know being a mother is so much more (I have two other children) But.........

  • #2
    Hi ontheway

    I am sorry you are going through this. What more can I say other than...It sux!!

    DH and I have had 6 years of infertility, literally every test and treatment available and have just been informed that our FS is reluctant to keep going as she does not think it will work. She feels surrogacy is our best option.

    You are not alone. Greiving is a horrible process. Feeling strong and ok one day than miserable the next. I find myself getting annoyed at myself when I am down, especially since we have many happy things in our life. You have every right to be greiving. Every other woman in the world seems to be able to blink and be pregnant. And yes, it is the simple things that I wish for too, feeling baby kick inside, breastfeeding, even the birth.

    Do you find it is impacting on other aspects of your life too? I am usually so on the ball at work. I have an extremely stressful job and I usually enjoy the challenge but recently I have been losing things and becoming teary over nothing. I haven't been eating or sleeping. I have made an appointment to see a counsellor this week.

    Best wishes to you. Look after yourself. Feel free to PM me, maybe we can support each other.
    Poppy

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    • #3
      Have you considered your wife carrying and you breastfeeding?
      I know their are tablets to make you lactate.
      This could be an option for you so that you get to experience breastfeeding.
      Or you and your wife can both nurse? 4 boobs are better than 2

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Kelly8329 View Post
        Have you considered your wife carrying and you breastfeeding?
        I know their are tablets to make you lactate.
        This could be an option for you so that you get to experience breastfeeding.
        Or you and your wife can both nurse? 4 boobs are better than 2
        A lovely and great suggestion.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Kelly8329 View Post
          Have you considered your wife carrying and you breastfeeding?
          I know their are tablets to make you lactate.
          This could be an option for you so that you get to experience breastfeeding.
          Or you and your wife can both nurse? 4 boobs are better than 2
          I think that is a really sweet idea

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          • #6
            Thank you ladies for all your warm thoughts.
            We have tried the breastfeeding thing but for it to work and lactate I would have to had a pregnancy for it to work and I have not being able to fall pregnant.

            Comment


            • #7
              From what I know that is not true. Women who adopt babies get lactating tablets to bring milk in.
              http://www.justbreastfeeding.com/ind...pting-mothers/

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              • #8
                Originally posted by ontheway View Post
                Thank you ladies for all your warm thoughts.
                We have tried the breastfeeding thing but for it to work and lactate I would have to had a pregnancy for it to work and I have not being able to fall pregnant.
                I don't think that true there are many way for you to breast feed without having been pregnant many adoptive mums do it

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