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51 weird sentences these parents never thought they’d say

A list of weird things parents have said


Obviously I said some pretty weird things before there were children living in my house but since I’ve become a parent there seems to be no end to the ridiculous things I hear myself say.

Most of this things fall into the category of ‘so obvious you’d think they’d never need to be uttered’ – like “don’t eat with your feet!” – while others are normally the result of toys meeting reality – “get that elephant out of your sister’s face”.

Whatever the reason – they are hilarious!

Check out some of the ridiculous things parents have said … the first few came out of my own surprised mouth and the rest are courtesy of our, no-doubt, equally baffled Bub Hub Facebook followers.

Some weird stuff parents have said …

“Would you get that airplane off my head!”

“You’ll get pear when you’re wearing pants”

“Who left their sandwich in my shoe?”

“Why are there cars in the freezer?”

“Get your foot off your sandwich”

“We do not do wees on ants, we do them on the toilet”

“Do you see mummy running around outside naked? NO! Get some clothes on”

“Get the potato head off the table it’s dinner time”

“How many times do I have to say it? Get the snake out of your nose!”

“Get your fingers out of your bum”

“No thank you, no mud for dinner”

“Sit on Elmo and don’t move”

“Does Superman need to do a pee on the toilet?”

“She’s not a pillow. She’s your sister!”

“No, your bullet train does not need a drink of milk!”

“I don’t want the dinosaur to eat the spaghetti!”

“That’s Daddy’s water – don’t let the hippo drink it!”

“Toast is NOT a car”

Dumb things you say when you're a parent

“Why is Spider-Man wearing a nappy”

“Are you going to come and wave goodbye to your poo?”

“Rocketships don’t hurt their little sister”

“Get that zebra off your sister’s head!”

“No, we don’t paint the cat!”

“Don’t eat the toilet paper!”

“Take that tree out of your mouth and eat your breakfast”

“Don’t sit on your brother’s head”

“Why is there poo on the coffee table?”

“It’s not chocolate, it’s poo!”

“We do NOT eat things after putting them in the toilet”

“Don’t throw cans of cat food at Nannie”

“Noooo! Stop weeing on your brother”

“It’s NOT paint! It’s POOP!”

“Please don’t lick the washing machine”

“That is a torch, not a thermometer … take it out of your ear!”

“Don’t eat the cat’s tail”

“Why are these eyeballs on the sink?”

eyeballs on the sink

“I know it’s a giraffe. I just don’t want to kiss it!”

“Please don’t eat mummy”

“Poo is not a bath toy!”

“No, you can’t use your chainsaw to cut your birthday cake!”

“Do you ever see Mum pretend weeing on a bowl of chips? No, so stop doing it!”

“Pick up that monkey’s nappy off the floor!”

“Mum, can you please grab that giraffe from under my arm?”

“Darling, why are you licking the floor?”

“Elephants don’t say ROOOOOAAAARRRR”

“Don’t use carrots as guns”

“Stop brushing the giraffe’s teeth”

“Don’t bite the dog!”

“Why are you wearing underpants on your head?”

“She’s not naked. She’s wearing tap shoes.”

“Why is there Weetbix all over the trampoline?”

About Rebecca Galton

Rebecca is the Bub Hub’s content editor. She is also parent to three growing children. In her spare time she … who are we kidding, she has no spare time! In the years BC (before children), Rebecca was content ...

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