Ever wanted to be a fly on a wall? Ever wanted to hear what your kids and their mates talk about?
Recently I had a car full of boys aged 11 and 12. We were off to a school football game and I was the designated driver. Never one to be shy and retiring, and god forbid ‘a boring mum’, I cranked up the CD with a bit of Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You’ to get the lads in the mood for a thumping win. There we were driving down the freeway with the stereo blasting, 5 boys and one crazy mum, singing our hearts out. Fun.
Then the song stopped at the chat started. It went something like this (I kid you not – this is the way they actually speak!):
Hey dude have you got a girlfriend?
Yes, I have now.
Hey man, when did you hook up with your chick?
Last week. I asked her to ‘go out with me’ and she said yes’
So have you been out?
No man, when you ask them out it just means they are your girlfriend, but you don’t actually go anywhere
Oh. Where does she live?
I dont know! I’m not stalking her dude!
Do you talk to her?
Yes, I talk to her at school
What do you talk about?
Well you have to talk about things ‘they’ like.
What? Like strawberries dude? Flowers?
I kept a straight face, didn’t comment, didn’t even look sideways. Feeling very privileged to have accidentally been overlooked and allowed in to the inner sanctum of tweenie boy chat, I did not want the spell to break. Dude.