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My toddler is the Employee of the Year

Being a toddler is hard workYes, I’ll admit it – I’m guilty.

I’m one of the many mums who have complained about their toddlers at some point. Some days more than others.

Like when we had an hour-long tantrum when the words “No, we are not gluing your pictures to the wall” left my lips.

Part of me wanted to give in and embrace his creativity and create an on-trend theme of homemade wall paper *cue images of new found fame and magazine spreads*.

The other part of me knew that this would result in a weekend project to repair the clag-damaged walls, undoubtedly with The Toddler wanting to help *cue images of next marathon tantrum*.

But now I’m starting to feel a little bad about all the venting (sorry friends and family). Because really, I think there is no way we can ever prepare our Toddlers for all the responsibility that goes with the all-powerful job of being a Toddler.

Think about it: every other high-power position comes with some form of training or education. Politicians, Managers, Royalty – yep, all trained and prepped ready to receive their title. When we award our junior human beings with The Toddler Title and send them off into the world, it’s no wonder they continue to live up to the stereotype.

Before I keep going – yes, I know Toddlers don’t have a job description. Their only job is to play, learn and grow into functioning adults. What I also know is that they are in possession of a HUGE skillset, with no idea of how to apply any of these skills in a socially appropriate manner. Couple this with a missed nap, and they’ve been dealt a tough hand to work with. So today I put myself in my Toddler’s missing sock for just for a second to see it from his under-the-table perspective.

Imagine walking into a new job, without knowing the language. You can’t access the kitchen but you’re absolutely starving. You’re tired because you haven’t been sleeping well. You’ve got new equipment, gadgets and paperwork in front of you, ready to be turned into a masterpiece of creative and profitable genius. Just when you feel like you are getting somewhere, someone changes the schedule with a flurry of arm actions and foreign words.

Yikes. Any adult in this situation would feel overwhelmed, isolated, frustrated and anxious. Me? I’d probably cry too. Then I’d retreat to the kitchen for a soothing cup of tea (and if I’m being really honest, probably a Tim Tam. Or two). Then I’d march down to HR and have stern words with my recruitment officer about job suitability too.

Our Toddlers have incredible skills – they are daring, courageous, fearless, determined, creative, enthusiastic and passionate. They are also irrational, determined, unreasonable, unwavering and relentless in their pursuit to achieve their goals (note that goals may change every second, multiple times and without warning).

So while it may have been incredibly frustrating to negotiate my way through explaining why we can’t put the outdoor pebbles in the toilet, I have a newfound respect for our newest employee – The Toddler. Despite his daily turmoils and tribulations, The Toddler turns up at work again the next day. He’s forgotten how horrible he felt the day before and he’s ready to face it all again. And he does it all with his uncoordinated squishy hands and feet, and a knock-your-socks off smile that wins over the ultimate cranky boss every time. I think I’ll just report myself to HR next time I hear myself complaining about the new guy.

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