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Dear Unplanned Baby …

Woman writing a letter to her unplanned babyDear Unplanned Baby,

When I realised I was pregnant with you, I cried. Nauseated for days, I thought I was under the weather, sleep deprived and maybe not feeding myself very well.

All of those things may have been true, but also, I was pregnant.

Pregnant was not what I was planning to be. I had so many other plans. I told your father I couldn’t do it, didn’t want to. I cried for three days.

And I considered my options.

As a feminist, I am pro-choice. When I became a mother for the first time, my stance was only confirmed. I firmly believe that if someone does not want to become a mother, then she shouldn’t. Motherhood is not easy.

I considered my options.

Sacrificing my body, my time and my career was not something I had planned to do again. I thought I might be a sinking ship, feared I didn’t have enough in me to give. Motherhood is not effortless.

I considered my options.

Was there room for another child in our house? Was another child fair on your siblings? Could we afford another stretch on one income? Another mouth to feed? Another future teenager always consuming and wanting and needing? Motherhood is not inexpensive.

I considered my options.

What can I tell you, my love? How can I explain the complexities? I will say I am not ashamed. I will not apologise. I am not sorry.

Because I considered my options, you were a choice, my unplanned child. Meaning you were a conscious decision, not an albatross around my neck. You were a surprise but not a mistake. Unplanned but, ultimately, never an unwanted child.

Eyes wide open, I considered my options and I chose you.

With love,

Your Mother

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2 comments so far -

  1. I had an unplanned baby and I was feeling very hurt everytime I saw my belly grow. It was very hard 9 months with no emotional support from the father, he was not expecting a child at all. He recommended other options but I was very guilty of continuing with it and I concluded by keeping the baby. When she arrived, the first word I uttered to her was “I am sorry my Angel” I cried and she slowly opened her eyes. Until today she brings me joy everyday and I am ready to face everyday challenges. I am a proud mother now!

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