Stay with me on this – it’s a valid question and I want to hear your thoughts!
As I mentioned in last week’s article – “I don’t care if I never have sex again” – women need to feel loved and supported in order to want sex. Men often need sex to feel loved and supported. Lack of help around the house is often cited as a major reason women don’t want sex. They don’t feel supported and sex just feels like one more chore.
Sadly, I often hear from men who come into my practice “Why should I help out more? It doesn’t get me anywhere.”
And so we have classic gridlock …
Both partners are not getting their needs met and both are unwilling to meet their partners needs.
So where do we go from here?
We have a choice to stay stuck, defending our positions, not giving in to our partner’s needs. Or we can both make an effort, find a compromise and potentially save the relationship.
Not getting sex when you’re horny is kind of like being on a diet. You’re a little more stressed and moody. By day three, you’d give just about anything to be able to eat that last chocolate biscuit that you know is in the back of the cupboard! That’s pretty much how it feels to really want sex and not be able to have it.
When someone isn’t getting the amount of sex they want, it affects their whole life. They are left feeling hurt, unattractive and unloved – it can lead to them being stressed, frustrated and unhappy.
Remember back to the old days – before kids – when a passionate night could leave you glowing for days? Chances are, it’s still like that for your partner. ‘Intimacy’ can boost his confidence and his energy levels helping him feel on top of the world.
He’s more likely to be romantic after an evening of romance, because as we know – sex is a way men feel loved and appreciated. When they do, they want to give back.
I recently treated a client who had barely had sex with her husband in years. Tension was a constant, he worked late and frequent arguments broke out. Within a few weeks of seeing me, her libido had returned – and she arrived to a session one day glowing
Other clients have brought back similar reports.
Be willing to be the first to break the gridlock – you might be surprised at the results.
And, if you’re anything like me – watching your partner in the kitchen or doing the vacuuming is a major turn-on!