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A Boy? Do I want one?

I have these questions always following me once people see or know that I have four girls.

Are you going to try for a boy?

Don’t you want a boy?

But don’t you think you need a boy?

My answer is No

Plain and simple. I’m very happy with my four girls. In fact, my last two girls make up for the fact that I don’t have a boy as they are much more, how can I say it nicely, energetic than my older two girls were at their age.

I come from a large family. I’m the third child out of seven. My husband comes from a larger family than mine. He is the second child out of nine. It’s not uncommon for us Lebanese families to have large families. But I think I am done with my family. I did say I would like have five children, I can’t see that happening any more.

I grew up around five brothers. I was 8 by the time my one and only sister came along. I was the ‘tomboy’ in the family. Never into girly things and I was always breaking the head off Barbie. Do I think my girls need a brother to do the “boyish” things? No, because they got me.

My children also have a lot of boy cousins that step in for the brother they will not have. They get to do all the boyish stuff like ride bikes and scooters and play soccer. Whoever put those activities in the boy category is beyond me. Girls rock and do things boys can do, sometimes even better than them.

If I was destined to have a boy I would have had one now. The doctor on my 4th pregnancy had told me, before we had found out the sex of the baby, that it would be a girl if we have had three girls already. We had hoped that maybe he was wrong – but he was right. I have come to accept the fact that I will not get a boy and I’m OK with that. My girls are OK with that also.

My husband wanted girls. He was used to them. As I grew up with boys around me, my husband grew up with five girls around him before he got some brothers.

At some point I might regret not trying one more time to get that boy but I don’t have a guarantee that I will get a boy. I have said to some people ‘If there was a way to know that I will have a boy next or to possibly pick a boy I would do it’.

Yes deep, deep down I do want a boy just for him to carry the family name on and such. But I’m not going to move mountains just to get one.

Sure I have tried the Chinese calendars and the have sex at the right time of the month thing and they never worked. I never got to into the whole thing because to me it didn’t matter what I had just as long as the baby was healthy and I was healthy.

Because in the end it’s not a thing about having boys or having girls, in the end it’s about having healthy children. That’s all I wanted, that’s all I got and I’m happy.

Some facts about my girls

  • They are dirty. My girls can be just as grubby and if not grubbier then the boys.
  • They are sporty. My girls can play soccer, ride bikes and do wheelies on scooters. My girls go to Maui Thai training twice a week. They kick ass. In fact they are the only girls at training and they are the ones that calm the boys down. When they are not there, the boys muck about.
  • They have never pee’d on me with great accuracy. It just seemed to spread all over the change table. Newborn shooting poo was a different story.
  • I was told girls were easier to toilet train. With my older two that was true. With my third child I’m about to go bold.
  • My girls climb things like champions and hurt themselves like they can replace their bodies.
  • They are all daddy’s girls but always come to mum first when they are hurt.
  • They can do dishes.

They are my girls and even though I’m not a girly girl my self, I can see the girly girl in all my girls.

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4 comments so far -

  1. I had 3 boys in a row, I was over the moon having all one gender. I hated the comment but girls are nice, ummm did I say they weren’t???? I just done the dance and got 3 boys. I was always made to feel like I did something wrong as I hadn’t had a daughter and while I loved the idea of having a girl my rule is if I’m not happy with whatever I get it’s not time for another one! Well by the time my youngest was nearly 6 months I got to that place again, found out I was pregnant and 9 months later found out it was a girl. While it took some getting use to as I did not know the gender before hand I enjoy it so much as in the clothes and jewelry etc. But as my child I don’t love her more or less than the boys -your child is your child and for all the mums with one gender while it’s lovely being a mum to both genders now there is no more or less love to one gender over the other. I am strictly against gender selector some people can’t even have one! If the fourth came out a boy the love and joy would be the same, I have another now on the way will find out at the birth the gender now I get what about a sister for your daughter that would be great! But if I were to be upset if it’s a fourth boy then I wouldn’t of had another one. We all have superficial preferences but really at the end of the day it doesn’t matter.

  2. My husband and I have five beautiful boys. Love them to the moon and back 🙂 Would have liked a daughter but wouldn’t change them for the world. 🙂

  3. We have four boys. Every pregnancy since my first, we were asked if we were “going for a girl”. Every time we announced another baby boy people would say “oh shame, maybe next time you will have a girl.” We adore our boys. They are all unique and keep us on our toes. We don’t regret not having a girl. Watching our boys together, we can see same sex siblings have a great chance of remaining close through life. Having all male children in the house has made things cheaper for us as hand me downs are always possible and all the toys are of interest to them all. Raising boys is a precious gift!

    • The hand me downs are definitely a plus in my house hold as well. I can keep stuff from daughter to daughter. And they are all girls so anything pink or purple is perfect for all.

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