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26-06-2008

Well at least i now have a place i can vent and let out everything i have been keeping in if i feel the need to.

I am so annoyed right now...down right angry in fact.

My baby has been sick for nearly 2 weeks, croup (complete with stridor and struggling to breath at times) followed by vast amounts of vomit and a fever and its just been rough for him and me.

Ive pretty much been letting him fall asleep on me when he feels like it as laying down is difficult for him, and some mornings i wasnt getting to bed, (on the floor in his room) until 4:30-5:00am. I DONT mind doing this, what has ****ed me off is the fact that his father, who only came out for half an hour on Tuesday to see him, and only ever sees him for about an hour a week, has taken the weekend off work to attend a game forum meet.

Now i dont mind him going but i am annoyed that he took time off work to go when he cant seem to make time to spend QUALITY time with his son. He hasnt even called to see if he is okay, i did get a message on MSN saying he hoped he was okay, but you would think that he would have the decency to call.

Or, how about he rings and says i know youre not sleeping more than an hour - hour and a half night, would you like me to come out Friday after work so you can grab a couple of hours, then ill need to go and grab some before i go back to work. Is that so unreasonable??? i think not.

Add to the fact that due to having to constantly carry my 13kg son practically every waking moment, and holding him til he can sleep for more than an hour without waking up coughing and or vomiting, i have torn my trapezius muscle and it makes even picking my son up a painful experience, and yet there is NOTHING in the way of support from his father.

And of course because im ****ed off about it, i am thinking back on EVERYTHING that proves selfishness and lack of thought and caring on his fathers behalf, such as he went interstate to see his daughter 2 weeks after his son was born... i didnt really mind then, (okay maybe i thought he might wait until i was feeling more confident and secure in what i was doing), and i dont really mind now, he has been to functions of his family and been gone a week at a time or a few days, he has gone to various things away. And i dont begrudge ANY of it usually, its just that this once all i am asking for is some consideration of the fact that i might have some needs.

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