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cosmic · #1 10-06-2006, 03:36 PM

This really is a long story so if you plan to read it, you should get a coffee or something.

At about 3pm on the afternoon of Tuesday 9th May (one week after my EDD) I was having a bath when I noticed that I was having 'pains' in spaced intervals. I wasn't timing but got quietly excited at the thought that this might be it. They continued while I was in the bath and then when I got up and watched TV (10 minutes apart) but I didn't want to tell DH in case it was a false start. Sure enough, they stopped completely at 5.30pm. Then I told DH what had been happening and he was really upset that I hadn't told him because he can't share the experience unless I tell him what's going on. So I promised to tell him the minute they started again.. which they did at 8pm that night!

As we watched TV, we noticed they were coming at 10 minute intervals but were really mild. At 10pm, I decided to go to bed to get some rest, but phoned the birth centre just to let them know that it looked like something was happening. The midwife said 'Well we might see you in a few hours, or we might see you this time tomorrow night' since these things are so unpredictable. I got to sleep at about 11pm but they were bitey enough to keep me awake from about 12.15am and by 6.00am they were 5 minutes apart. DH had been awake with me since about 2.15am so we went into Wednesday with not much sleep.

All of Wednesday morning they continued but seemed to slow down if I got up and moved around and they still weren't extremely painful. I had phoned my birth support person at 6am to let her know it looked like I was definitely in labour and we phoned her again at 10.30am to let her know that things were progressing, but slowly. By about 12.30pm they were coming fairly consistently (about 4 minutes apart) and getting more painful. We phoned the birth centre again and they said I was probably in pre-labour or false labour since my level of activity was affecting the regularity of the contractions. The midwife said that if it was 'real' labour, they wouldn't be stopping for anything. How discouraging, after dealing with these pains all night and day!! At this stage, I'd had a shower but not done anything else for the pain, so she suggested I keep managing my pain and call back when they were more consistent.

Things picked up pretty quickly from there and at 2pm, they were getting really painful so I got in the bath and DH poured water over my belly while I focused on relaxing and breathing through them. By the time I got out of the bath (about an hour and a half later) they felt like they were coming with very little break - lasting about 2 minutes each and coming 3 minutes apart. After I got out of the bath, I phoned the birth centre again. We established that my waters had broken around midday since I was having leaking at the peak of every contraction (and there I was thinking I'd just lost control of my bladder

) but they still said I was in early labour! What the??! She said it was up to me if I wanted to come in and they could do an exam and let me decide if I wanted to stay or go home.

I knew I didn't want to go to the BC too early, but at this stage I really felt like I was being brushed off - and besides my bath and shower weren't helping anymore. I could think of nothing better than getting under the shower at the BC and getting settled into the place where I was going to give birth, so we made the decision to go straight in and I knew that I wasn't going to be having any exam - a) because of risk of infection and b) because I don't believe they give any real indication of how much time you have left to labour - and that once I got there I wasn't leaving! The car trip to the hospital wasn't fun. By this stage just moving from one position to another was torture.

We arrived at 4.30pm and I was under the shower by 5pm. The pain was immediately more bearable. I stayed there for 2 hours, with DH holding a birth ball for me to lie over and him targeting the water at my belly while the other tap flowed over my back. It was so relaxing. My poor DH has a bad back and it was no fun for him, but I was seriously dozing off between contractions. It was SO good under that shower.

The midwife kept coming in to check the baby's heartbeat and even though I had chosen not to have any internal exams, at one stage she said that if she had to hazard a guess, she'd say I was about 2-3cm dilated. I could have punched her! Her saying that was just as discouraging as if I'd had the exam and one of the reasons I'd chosen not to have any. I just glared at her as she waltzed out of the room.

Around 7pm my support person (who had arrived at about 6pm) suggested I get up and move around to get the contractions moving since the shower seemed to be really easing the intensity of them. She said that it might be a good idea to get onto the bed for the first couple of contractions since they would be fairly intense after getting out of the shower. Far out, just getting out of the shower took so much effort! I could have stayed there forever.

It took about 10 minutes to get up and get moving (do I sound like a complete sook?) but I got on the bed and they kept coming thick and fast and the whole time I was thinking 'oh my God, how am I going to get up and walk around to another position?'. I was really moaning and wailing by this time and my DH was just holding his hands on me and reminding me to relax and breathe through the contractions. I didn't want pain relief but in my mind I was wondering how much worse this was going to get since the stupid midwife had said I was probably only 2-3cm dilated so I was thinking I had HOURS of this left.

I lost track of time and was totally in my own world. It almost felt like I was dozing in between contractions except I'm sure it wasn't sleep. I was totally in la la land.. and the next minute, to my complete surprise, mid-contraction, my body starts pushing! I called out "I'm PUSHING" and my poor DH nearly sh*t himself. It was so not what he was expecting and nor was I! The stupid midwife came in saying "oh goodie" or something to that effect. I looked at the clock and it was 9.10pm (2 hours since she had said I was in early labour, stupid wench).

The change in me was instant. Suddenly I could get up and move, I was cracking jokes. DH says it was amazing to see the complete change in me the minute transition was over and pushing started. So I got into a squatting position and pushed through a few contractions. Since I hadn't had any exams, the midwife said it was likely that I hadn't fully dilated since I had a couple of contractions that were non-pushy ones (as if I was listening to her anymore) but she did say to keep pushing if I felt the urge to push and just listen to my body. So by about 9.30pm I was having good pushing contractions and getting ready to deliver (or so I thought).

to be continued...

cosmic · #2 10-06-2006, 03:36 PM

Part II...

Around 10pm there was a shift change and the new middie said again that she thought I might not be fully dilated and that I should get in the bath to help ease the pain and try NOT to push and just breathe through them (yeah right). I got in the bath and she finally convinced me to have an internal exam since she said that if I wasn't fully diated I could be doing more harm than good. She did the exam and announced that I was definitely fully dilated AND the baby's head was close. Yay! That was all I needed to hear. That was 11.10pm. I pushed with everything I had in me and thought I'd be having a lovely water birth but at midnight still there was no sign of the baby's head. I was getting really discouraged and wondering what was wrong. It wasn't just slow.. I actually couldn't feel the baby's head moving down at all.

I decided to get out of the bath and into some better pushing positions and I pushed with all my might but still I couldn't feel the baby coming down. By about 12.30am, I was telling DH that something was wrong. The middie kept saying that these things take time, especially in first pregnancies and I shouldn't be discouraged.. but in the meantime another woman had pushed her baby out in half an hour in the room next door.

And I knew the middie was timing my pushing from when she examined me at 11pm when in fact I'd been pushing since just after 9pm!

By 1am, when there was still no progress, she examined me again and tested how I was pushing (by putting her fingers in and making me push them out - lovely). She said there was some movement but it was very slow. At this stage my contractions had dropped right off and weren't very strong since I was exhausted. She suggested that I should go over to labour ward and have the syntocinin drip to speed up contractions since she thought that with some good strong contractions I'd be able to push the baby out. I SO did not want to go to labour ward. We asked if I could just rest in the birth centre for a while but that wasn't allowed. While the middie went over to labour ward to get the advice of the registrar, I tried getting in the down-dog position to shift the baby's head OUT of my pelvis to give her space to move her head into a better position, but that didn't work. The middie came back and said that everyone was in agreement I needed to try the drip to pick up contractions. By this time (2am) I was so over these bloody contractions that making them stronger was the last thing I wanted. What a catch 22 though. I had to make them stronger to get the baby out so the whole thing would be OVER! Tired and cranky doesn't come close to describing how I was feeling. So much for my beautiful, natural birth.

So off I went to labour ward and suddenly I had the frickin' foetal monitor, the contraction monitor, the drip, you name it. Tubes hanging out of me everywhere. They asked if I would like pain relief at this point and I said no way! I hadn't come this far to cave and take the drugs now when the end was in sight! The doc did an exam and established that the baby's head was on a funny angle but she thought with some good contractions, I'd still be able to push her out. The drip started and the contractions revved up but I couldn't get into a really good position because it affected the midwife being able to get a good reading on the foetal monitor. I was so annoyed about that. I wanted to tell her to take her foetal monitor and shove it. Anyway, we worked it out and I got in a good position but after an hour of good, hard, PAINFUL contractions, the baby was still showing no signs of making her appearance. I was totally over this by now.

The registrar came back and after some discussion we all agreed we needed to try the ventouse. Again she asked if I would like pain relief and again I said NO. But oh boy isn't that an experience you want to avoid! DH reckons she almost had her foot up pushing off the bed to get leverage she was pulling so hard and I know I was pushing my insides out but after 3 contractions, still no movement. This baby wasn't budging! So at 4am, 7 hours after I got the urge to push, we agreed that I needed a caesarean.

I was able to discuss it with my birth support person and my DH and ask lots of questions of the doctor before we went into theatre since the baby's heartrate was fine so we weren't in an 'emergency' situation. I asked for the cord not to be cut until it stopped pulsating (was told it's not the done thing but they'd try as long as there were no complications) and also for the baby to be with me in recovery (was told she could be with me as much as possible but not for the 20min I was in recovery and we agreed). At one stage the doc said something like because I'd had no drugs in labour there were less likely to be problems for the baby and I was so happy to hear that. As if it made all the pain worthwhile somehow. I have to say though, that once we agreed to the c-section, all I wanted was for them to give my the freakin' epidural NOW!!

I went into theatre tired but in good spirits. As they prepared to start the operation, I looked up and saw a staff member walking around the room, handing all the staff a copy of my birth plan and every single one of them stopping to read it. I had totally forgotten my birth plan after all these hours and I was SO impressed that they were reading it and that they respected everything I had in it. I had written the page "In the event of caesarean" thinking that there was no way I would be having a c-section but in that moment I was so glad I had prepared it and oh my God the fact they were all reading it just amazed me. I had asked for no chit-chat in the room and they didn't talk, I asked to be told what was going on and they did. They were wonderful.

Annabelle arrived at 4.47am on Thursday 11th May 2006. She was purple and cranky with a huge round egg on the corner of her head but we loved her anyway.

After they did the op, they actually removed the baby and the cord AND THE PLACENTA and allowed the cord to stop pulsating, then let DH cut it. They immediately put the baby on my chest and she stayed there with DH and I for the whole time they were stitching me up. They advised him immediately when i was back in my room so he could bring the baby to me (I went an hour or so without seeing her). I seriously could not have asked for a better c-section experience.

SO... it was long and arduous and not fun at all (and NOT what I expected) but in the end I actually felt like I had totally experienced the natural birth I wanted (except for her head crowning and me pushing her out) and I also experienced a caesarean. Weird, but I really feel like I know what both are like now! And both of them were exactly as I wanted them to be. The natural birth with no unnecessary intervention and no drugs. And the caesarean that respected my wishes.

In the days that followed I felt really bad for hurting my baby's head with the ventouse (she had the biggest round swelling and bruise on the corner of her head and cried every time we touched it) and thought maybe I should have gone straight for the c-section but if I'd done that I would have wondered if maybe I hadn't done everything I could to have her naturally so I decided it's best not to have any regrets. I feel really comfortable that we made the best decisions at the time.

Sorry that was such a long story... but I wanted to record it all so I don't forget. If you've read this far, you've done well!

The result is a beautiful baby girl and as the weeks go by I feel slightly more optimisitc about possibly going back for a second one in future. A bit more time to erase the memory of the pain and I'm sure I'll be back to do it again!!

the_queen · #3 10-06-2006, 03:54 PM

What an inspiring birth story !!!

And a big WELL DONE to you, you did a fabulous job

Tea Lady · #4 10-06-2006, 03:59 PM

I'm glad it was a positive experience for you in the end cosmic! I'm sure enjoying little Annabelle is making all the agony worth it

Jenko · #5 10-06-2006, 04:08 PM

Wow Cosmic what a great story! Super effort on your part, i can't believe you went for so long pushing and were still denying any drugs. Well done! I'm glad your birth experience was positve for you, and that's great about the staff reading and abiding by your birth plan

to them.

Congratulations on your darling little Annabelle!

Funkychicken · #6 10-06-2006, 04:12 PM

What a mighty effort you gave! Well done on an amazing birth-and how fantastic that you feel so good about it despite all the trauma. You're an inspiration to women everywhere!