I didnt realize that after the birth of my first daughter (now 15 months), I had very fast growing post natal depressive illness. It wasnt until I lost my second daughter in Sept last year, that it started to get really bad. I was so snappy to everyone and just didnt want to get out of bed and even had sickening thoughts while I was in the car by myself. When these thoughts got worse and actually started coming while my family was in the car, it was like a lightbulb switched on in my head. Im really depressed I need help. Luckily my hubby was off work for a while, as he had a motorbike accident a few weeks before. We went to the drs surgery but he wasnt open, I burst into uncontrollable crying knowing that something needed to be done now. Hubby asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and I knew I needed help so I agreed. I stayed in hospital for a week and a half and was put on 675mg of lithium (a mood stablizer) and 40mg of Paroxetine (an antidepressant). This medication means I cant have kids until I get better, they said between 2-5 yrs, as the effects on the unborn child arent very nice at all. Aside from that I am feeling better. Also they put into place 13 weeks free child care, which is great because Casey loves playing with all the other kids and really learns alot. I also have regular councilling sessions which help. So things are finally getting on track. If anybody has been in a similar situation or ask any questions pm me or leave a post here.