Should i have a baby

**scorpio83** · 23-05-2007 21:00

You also need to consider that you both probably have differing opinions on things....when it comes to parenting, it can cause a lot of conflict. From your original post is sounds like you're hung up on the idea of having a baby and will try to rationalise getting pregnant. Like the others have all said, work on the relationship cos babies don't make guys stay. The relationship will definately suffer once a baby comes into the picture. If you decide later to have a baby then best of luck to you. It's a LOT harder than you think before you have one and you can't give them back if it's too hard. Best of luck with whatever you both decide.

**Kezzaleigh** · 23-05-2007 21:32

Originally Posted by aries_moon

No offense, but if you need to ask a public forum if you should have a baby or not, then that should be enough of an answer! Don't do it yet!!

I don't think i need the forums public approval. I just thought i would get some advice

**jennababe** · 23-05-2007 21:37

dont put a time limit on things.. trust a feeling.. some things are meant to be some arent.. i sooooo know how u feel bout wanting to be a mummy at a young age.. and it is the best feeling in the world.. do what u want when u feel ready and its the right time for you.. it doesnt matter what other people think or say.

but i would keep one thing in the back of your mind.. if the relationship didnt work could u handle being a single mum? and do you have enough support.

**Ashleigh<3** · 23-05-2007 21:43

Originally Posted by can'twait

loving someone and making a commitment to the relationship can be two different things...you need both to bring up a child

There are all kinds of marriages where the two are happy and one party doesn't pull there weight in.

I see it, hear it all the time.

Why would someone commit to something without love?

**misskittyfantastico** · 23-05-2007 21:45

I didn't vote either way. I don't think it's up to me to put a definate "yes" or "no" vote on whether you bring a child into the world.

I agree with many of the sentiments already expressed in this thread, especially that WANTING (even desperately wanting) a baby, doesn't mean that HAVING one is the best thing to do....I've been struggling with this idea myself, but for different reasons.

I would (If it were me, that is) enjoy my new relationship and see where it progresses, before planning any further.

**JATS** · 28-05-2007 13:36

Of course you should think seriously about it. Wether you decide to do it in 6 months or 2 years or 10 years if you do want to be a mum in the future you should seriously think about it now, so you can prepare yourself.

Think about the kind of life you would like to give your child/ren and what can you do NOW to ensure that kind of life.

Think about what you will need to do if you concieve straight away. Pregnancy is a wonderful thing, I never felt better in my life but it was SOOOO hard! You're in and out of hospital and forever being jabbed and poked, then labour/c/section, not the most dignified moment in a mum's life!

What kind of home environment do you want to raise a newborn in? There's plenty you can do in 6mnths+ to better your situation with a bit of hard work!

My guess is if you put the effort in NOW to prepare yourself, your life and your relationship for a baby in the future (like I said, 6 months or a few years) you'll do fine.

TBH I think saying No don't even think about it is a bit stupid. Of course you should think about it now! So you know what you want and can focus on getting what you will need in your life to be able to provide for a baby!

Have fun and do all the things you are meant to do at your age

Well physiologically we are 'ment' to have children in our early 20's / late teens

Some people would rather get the kids out young and do the travelling/other stuff later on. Some would prefer do it first, there is no age you're MENT to do anything!

**Milliner** · 28-05-2007 13:48

I think that you should wait and give your relationship time to build, then later down the track who knows what may happen.

**Hokey Pokey** · 28-05-2007 15:00

Get to know this guy more, choosing the father of your baby should be given careful consideration (if possible LOL) and enjoy some time to build a good relationship!

**ImSethsMum** · 28-05-2007 19:15

I didnt vote, as not my place to tell you what to do with your life

I fell pregnant unexpectidly after being with my DP for only a few weeks. Sure those few weeks had been great but how did I know he'd stick around, so I made sure I could look after that baby on my own - as you never know what can happen (even if your married a marriage can fail). So Id be working out if you can afford to have a child as a single mum - if not then wait.

Im not saying you'd end up a single mum at all - I just always plan for the worst and hope for the best IYKWIM. Planning a baby means planning to take care of it forever, whether in a relationship or on your own.

After saying all that.... I hope this new man works out and is the man of your dreams and your soulmate, and you go on to have a beautiful family when you both decide its time.

Hugs to you

Kelly