Worried i'm taking the "easy" option

**proud_mama** · 11-05-2007 16:00

I am 16 wks preg with #2 and I was to elect a c-section because of the bad experience i had with DS. The main fact being that DF and i both missed the birth of DS as i was sent for an elective C-section after wanting a natural, drug free water birth and got none of the above which i understand that you will most likely get the complete opposite of what your birth plan is but when the spinals and epidurals didn't work and i had to get put under a g.a I was so upset that when i awoke he was all bathed, dressed and asleep. So for this one i want to elect a c-section so that having it planned both DF and i will be at least able to see bubs after they are born and also will get the 1hr bonding time i did not get with DS. Being that as it may some people think i am taking the "easy" way out and now i'm starting to wonder am i? I would like to try a VBAC but i am also scared of the risks involved.

help?

**kita** · 11-05-2007 16:29

From what ive heard, in no way is it the easy way, even though its the way i have chosen for the first time round ( not for medical reasons).
You just do what YOU want to do, if you feel you could VBAC and its what you want, then i say go for it!! same again if you want a c/s, do not worry about what other ppl will say, either way you are going to meet your beautiful lil baby.

**sueb31** · 11-05-2007 16:55

Its hard isn't it. You have had a caesar so you know its not really an "easy" option, remember the recovery??

I think its a concern for a lot of women who are sort of advised to have an elective caesar but its still "up to you". I think in the end you have to weigh up the medical advice, what is the risk of something going wrong again, and then decide. Only you can decide, and in my opinion, there is no "easy" option, just different pain associated with each one!!

Sue

**please** · 11-05-2007 23:26

I chose an elective c-sect for number three and it was in no way the easy option. Yes the actual delivery is easy ... but the panic before the needle, the lying waiting for the op, the entering a maternity ward NOT writhing in pain and the looks in the other mum's eyes ..... none of it was easy. The recovery is a killer .... while mine was anyway as my other two didn't want to leave me alone. I couldn't feed I couldn't sleep (cept on the WONDERFUL pethidine shots!!!!!)

I went through HELL deciding what was best for ME and my baby and in the end I just stopped telling anyone. If they asked me if I was having another c-sect I just answered "haven't decided as yet" and then turned off my ears while they went through their diatribe about how a VBAC was best/c-sect was the only way.

Go with your gut. I figured that if I talked to the baby about the options (locked myself in my room often and just talked to my belly) then left it in her hands. If she wanted a natural birth (or my body felt ready) ten I would go into labour, if she wanted a surgical birth I wouldn't. It was the one notion that gave me peace in my decision.

Take care of yourself and I hope you find peace in YOUR decision.

**zenifa** · 12-05-2007 06:30

I had an elective c/s with my DD, and I will be having another elective c/s with this baby, also due in Oct.
I certainly don't view it as the 'easy' way out. It is major surgery and the recovery is very important and I'm imagining will be difficult with an active toddler in tow.

At the end of the day, its your body, your birth and your baby, your decision. Good luck with whatever you decide.

**lindseyv** · 31-05-2007 22:04

Think of it as the SAFE option. That's what I did and you will probably change your mind numerous times, because everyone else will be saying its the easy option. You might even think it to. I did, but I still thought it was the safest option as I knew my baby would not get stressed going through some ridiculous 10hr labour, I wouldn't get stressed and I didn't need to worry about stretching and tearing 'down there'. I am definatly for a C-Section, wouldn't have a baby any other way.

**punkbaby** · 31-05-2007 22:08

All that matters is that your safe and your bubs arrives safely, it doesnt matter how they come into this world!
Dont let anyone tell you any different! I havent had a c/s myself but i understand it can be the best thing for alot of mothers

Good luck!! You are by no way taking the easy way out your doing whats right for you and your baby!

**danielle13** · 01-06-2007 08:52

Don't let people make you think you're taking the "easy option" - there is nothing easy about a c/s.

You've still got awhile to explore your options, if you'd like a vbac do some research, talk to your care providers and people who have done it, and weigh up your options. Yes there are risks, but nothing in life is risk-free

Most importantly - do what YOU feel comfortable doing, and pay no attention to judgements (easier said than done I know).

Good luck with your decision

**Stretchmark Diva** · 02-06-2007 12:59

Who cares what other people think? Are they going to step in and take over as your "stunt double" on the day? No? Then don't even let yourself answer their stupid, invasive questions.

When people give you ignorant opinions about how you are taking the "easy way" out, ask them to show you he trophy they got for being a "hero" in childbirth. No trophy? Oh, i guess you weren't such a hero after all.

But then I'm evil.

**SilverStarfish** · 02-06-2007 13:02

Originally Posted by Stretchmark Diva

Who cares what other people think? Are they going to step in and take over as your "stunt double" on the day? No? Then don't even let yourself answer their stupid, invasive questions.

When people give you ignorant opinions about how you are taking the "easy way" out, ask them to show you he trophy they got for being a "hero" in childbirth. No trophy? Oh, i guess you weren't such a hero after all.

But then I'm evil.

I absolutely agree