The things NOT to say...

[MilkOnTap]

There has been a lot of sadness through these threads of late and quite a few women have lost their little miracles. It has reminded me of when I lost my angels and of the lack of understanding, support and TACT that some people had when attempting to comfort or reassure me.

So this thread is for all those who have suffered a loss, to vent about the worst things that people said to you which only seemed to rub salt into the wound. This thread may also help those who have fortunately never experienced a loss understand a little bit more of how we are feeling.


List of Things NOT to say after a loss
1. "It mustn't have been the right time..."
2. "There must have been something wrong with it"

[Shanaynay]

3. Natures way of taking care of a child who would have been disabled
4. You can always try again

[SorenLorensen]

the worst one i got told. i lost the baby because i told everyone befor 3 months, that was WHY acroding to her i lost my bub

List of Things NOT to say after a loss
1. "It mustn't have been the right time..."
2. "There must have been something wrong with it"
3. Natures way of taking care of a child who would have been disabled
4. You can always try again
5. "It was the 3 month curse"


by the way...great thread

[Pippi Longstocking]

"It's nature's way" Some animals eat their own young which is also natures way, doesn't make it any easier to cope with!
"It's God's will" Well then, I'd like to have a word to this God o' yours that believes infanticide is an ok thing to inflict on people!
"You can always have another one". I don't want another one, I wanted that one!

[SilverStarfish]

I actually heard someone say #6 to a friend of mine after she'd m/c. I nearly died. What a terrible thing to say!


List of Things NOT to say after a loss
1. "It mustn't have been the right time..."
2. "There must have been something wrong with it"
3. Natures way of taking care of a child who would have been disabled
4. You can always try again
5. "It was the 3 month curse"
6. "Well Jack said he didn't want a little brother or sister anyway"
7. "These things happen, it obviously wasn't meant to be"

[Duchessa]

"A third of all pregnancies end in miscarriage - it's more common than you think". Right. Three out of the last four of mine have ended in miscarriage d*ckwad, I think I know how common it is, taa thank you very much.

[M O P]

I'm reading this thread with interest, I've never experienced the pain of a loss like this and I never know what to say.
Thankfully I've never said (or would dream of saying) any of these things.

[Duchessa]

List of Things NOT to say after a loss
1. "It mustn't have been the right time..."
2. "There must have been something wrong with it"
3. Natures way of taking care of a child who would have been disabled
4. You can always try again
5. "It was the 3 month curse"
6. "Well Jack said he didn't want a little brother or sister anyway"
7. "These things happen, it obviously wasn't meant to be"
8. "A third of all pregnancies end in miscarriage - it's more common than you think"
9. "It will be easier with the twins a bit older"

[nuddle]

List of Things NOT to say after a loss
1. "It mustn't have been the right time..."
2. "There must have been something wrong with it"
3. Natures way of taking care of a child who would have been disabled
4. You can always try again
5. "It was the 3 month curse"
6. "Well Jack said he didn't want a little brother or sister anyway"
7. "These things happen, it obviously wasn't meant to be"
8. "A third of all pregnancies end in miscarriage - it's more common than you think"
9. "It will be easier with the twins a bit older"
10. "Its not like they were real babies yet"

[MilkOnTap]

10. "Its not like they were real babies yet"

Speechless