Hi, I was hoping someone could give me advice for my 4 year old Will. I'll try tell the short version.
I separated from my ex when Will was 12 weeks old coz he was violent. I allowed him supervised access after that. On Xmas day 2002, ex came round to see his son. He got angry over something or other and then threatened to, and tried to kill me. Poor bubs was inside smashing on the door trying to get outside to mummy to help. Ex finally left, and I calmed bubba down and got him to sleep. We didnt see him for another 6 months, till he started stalking us - but that's another story!
I have kept monitoring Will, coz I did not know how much he would remember - only being 1 and all, and things seemed to be going fine. I was going to tell him when he was older, and get some help for him then, but this year, after we put the Xmas tree up, he started having nightmares. He says that mummy is hurt and Will can't help her. Our mouths are both full of 'red' and he ends by crying and saying 'he doesn't want to be a baby again'. I am going to get him assessed in the New Year (offices all shut now!), but was hoping there was someone out there who had perhaps been in a similar situation and noticed an 'anniversary effect'.
I've made a 'dream fairy' and that seems to have helped a bit, but other suggestions would be really, really welcome. I just want him to be able to enjoy Xmas - not be scared of it.