Co-Sleeping advice wanted

[vanessamb]

Hi there,

As above, really. Our first baby is due in a week and we are planning on co-sleeping. I have been researching this for months and still haven't really come up with how exactly we are going to do it.

All the adivce (esp. from the SIDS website) seems to say you can't do *anything*. For instance, I have read: don't put child between you. But also not to put them on one side because they might fall out/ suffocate between you and the wall.

Also, about coverings. No doonas. So should we (all) use blankets instead? (Which I reckon would end up heavier). Or should we give baby their own coverings. If so, what? I've also read not to swaddle.

In some ways, I suspect a conspiracy theory about this stuff, but would be devastated to be told something, not believe it, and have something happen to little one.

If it helps, we have a futon that is just off the floor and no walls on either side of the bed (head is against the wall only).

Any advice would be greatly appreciated...

Cheers, Vanessa

[nemosmum]

Hey Vanessa

GD luck with your birth, may it be quick and relatively pain free

With my first bub we co slept for only about 6wks as i really didnt like it (bubs was a heavy breather and i couldnt get to sleep also i was a stressed first time mummy!)

With him we used a tetra snuggle bed to ensure we didnt roll on him etc etc
We placed him in the middle between us and used blankets.

This tiem round im also co sleeping with my baby girl and absolutely LOVE it!
We are doing things a bit differently and our bubs is very quiet sleeper so we all get a great night sleep.

We have the cot pushed up against my side of the bed with the rail off so the cot is at bed level (its like we've extended the bed etc
Bubs is in the tetra snuggle bed in the cot and i can just lean over and settle/comfort/bf during the night without having to get out of bed!

Its great for lots of reasons as im sure you've researched BUT my fave reason is bubs doesnt cry at all during the night as her needs are met very quickly,
she just wakes up stirs a bit does a few grunting sounds and then gets fed....ahhhh bliss!

Re: doonas/blankets/swaddling etc
As bubs is in her cot she doesnt use our doona/blankets
I do love swaddling as my bubs both tended to need that to be able to settle into a deep sleep otherwise they would wake themselves with waving arms and legs etc
I tend to use the kiddopotamus wraps as they are dead easy to wrap bubs especially in the middle of the night when your half asleep@!


gd luck with everything hun!

Sxx

[Phoenix's Mum]

We have co-slept from birth, & we just did what felt right for us. To begin with I rolled up a towel & put it under the sheet to form a hump & stop him from rolling out (not that they can for a few months anyhow!). But one of the best things I ever did was buy a bedrail when he was 6 weeks old. It was only about $20 & it made me feel safe knowing Phoenix couldn't fall out (also added a bit extra space as the rolled towel took up sleep space). So he was in our bed like this: (Our bed isn't against a wall either)

Bedrail/ Phoenix/ Mummy /Daddy

We have always used a doona as it was quite cold here in Melbourne when Phoenix was just born. Despite all my co-sleeping research I actually missed the whole part about doonas being dangerous & someone pointed it out to me when he was 3 months old & I was suprised! I always folded down one side of the doona diagonally & just tucked the doona in firmly down on his side near the bedrail so there was no way it could get up on his face. We wrapped him when he was littler, & just had him up high near the bedhead with his own warm blanket & our pillows always away from him- you have to be careful because if their hands are wrapped they can't push blankets etc off their faces.

In terms of breastfeeding, I feed him on the left breast then roll with my body leaning over him & my arm up above his head & feed him with the other breast- means no changing sides for either of us! But in the early days I would move to his other side & feed him off the other breast, as there was no way I could lean on one boob while feeding from the other- pools of breastmilk in bed!

In the last month we have now popped the cot on next to our bed as a sidecar (ie with the side taken off so it is an extension of our bed) as Phoenix decided he liked to roll over after finishing feeding & have his own sleep space with us, & even tho we have a queen bed he didn't have enough room and would push at us and cry out sometimes! So now he spends half the night in his sidecar/cot & half the night snuggled between us- which is lovely!

The things I love about co-sleeping are-
The first thing in the morning baby grins)
A happy content secure little baby!
No breastfeeding problems (he gets more milk than non-cosleeping babies)!
A baby that sleeps from 8pm till 9am (great sleep-ins for everyone!!)
Always knowing Phoenix is perfect ie warm, safe, not upset, sleeping...
Sleeping through the night before my son did! (Gotta love babies learning to find the nipple & feed themselves back to sleep while you slumber on.....)

Good luck, I hope co-sleeping works for you! We love it!

Oh, & I hope your birth goes well, and you have a birth you can feel happy and content with

[faery]

Hiya
we put the cot with the side off next to the bed (my side and pushed it into the corner of the wall. the plan was to put ds there to sleep but he ended up tucked in next to me. i kept the cot there as i liked having the extra space and when ds started rolling, he could roll into the cot.

for the first while he slept only on my side, but eventually as he got bigger he would also sleep between us.

we used a doona (not much, don't need a doona for very long in qld!) and i found that i would only pull it up to my waist and wore a long sleeve shirt to bed. that way bubby never had much over him. and we put him to bed in warm suits so it wouldn't matter. he kicks off the blankets anyway.

now that he is older, we have a single bed for him next to our bed where he sleeps most of the night.

the best part of cosleeping (besides having cuddles and baby kisses to wake you up) is how easy it is to feed at night. ds quickly learned to latch on and even pull boobie out of my shirt!!

[jojojonsey]

Best purchase I ever made... was a king size bed

We co-sleep - just a light doona (no sheets etc) with a well fitting cover and minimal pillows. Bubs sleeps either side and I swap during the night depending on what side I'm feeding on. I also find the switch helps to move wind in him. I have a bed rail on my side.

I love co-sleeping and have done with all three of my kids. I love the fact I get a good nights sleep. I never understand the "are you missing your sleep" questions from people.

[vanessamb]

thanks all, i reckon we'll just have to see how we go and think about the possibility of putting the cot mattress next to us if we need to (seems like a popular option).

have been very heartened to hear about ease for night feeds, that pretty much clenched it for me (as i'm not one who handles lack of sleep well)...

cheers!
vanessa

[stellaj]

Luca has slept with us from the start, well we put him in his own bed until about 11pm until he wakes and then he comes with us, sleeping in the middle of us. Basically we didn't change anything to accomodate him except move our pillows down so that his head is a little higher than ours just in case the doona got over him. Probably not the recommended way to do it but it works for us and I don't feel he has even been in any danger.

[Moern]

we still use doonas, blankets, pillows, and have puke towels in the bed. I think it's all fear-mongering. We've have Jareth in between us too, so that he won't crawl out. But if you are a deep sleeper, then some of those things can be an issue. We are always aware of where Jareth is, so he didn't get covered up as a small one... now he deliberately pulls the covers/pillows over him while playing.

The no smoking/drinking/medication thing is important though, I think (though we still have to co-sleep on meds/booze as Jareth will not sleep alone... but we never let both of us be affected at the same time)

[jojojonsey]

Luca has slept with us from the start, well we put him in his own bed until about 11pm until he wakes and then he comes with us, sleeping in the middle of us. Basically we didn't change anything to accomodate him except move our pillows down so that his head is a little higher than ours just in case the doona got over him. Probably not the recommended way to do it but it works for us and I don't feel he has even been in any danger.

I used this method with my first two - having them in their own bed. It made it really easy to wean thme out of ours.