Thinspiration

[Pixie]

Mods I understand if this gets closed just looking to see if anyone is out there who understands

I use to be anorexic, very lowest point was 36 kilos.

am not starving myself and won't as I am still breastfeeding.

But have started to focus very heavily on every item of food. I cut out chocolate/soft drink/crisps and in 2 weeks have dropped 2 kilos, the hit I get is huge. Still eating but very healthy food. Nothing wrong with that.
I so don't want to be skeletal just in the healthy weight range

Ana never really leaves you does she

[Frazzled]

Hey Pixie,
I was not anorexic, but bulimic from 16 to about 21. I still have bad bouts of it every now and then - physically. But the emotional and mental side of it has never left me. I completely understand.

My husband is really understanding of this and keeps a really close eye on me, probably without me realising a lot of the time.

Is this something you can talk to your DH about?

Kate x

[punkbaby]

i have never had to deal with this personally ...at the moment i am watching my 19 year old sister suffer from bulimia her goal weight being 32 kgs currently she is 35kgs she is 172cms tall....to hear that you have both come out of something like, even though it comes back to get you, this helps me know my sister can do it as well, i know i shouldnt even probably say this but your both strong!! to put it bluntly!
I guess its hope for her anyhow Her freind is mia, mia is where her weaknesses are but mia is her freind...what can you do? It breaks my heart.

like i said i havent been there and i DONT know what its like ...

[Frazzled]

punkbaby, at least you are aware and are there to help her. My pain was my own till i met my husband, he is the only person to know. I am a good secret keeper and a very good actress.

[punkbaby]

I try to help dont say much but she knows i am here if she needs me at least she has admitted it now thats a start
your lucky you have an understanding partner and he looks out for you, thats great to hear your not going it entirely alone...

[Pixie]

I was the same until I met my DH I was hoping eventually, well you know.

He truly saved me he noticed straight away and said last night while giving me huge hug, I know what you're doing and you're beautiful it's OK. He understands very much which is very helpful but at the same time weird lol

I have had the scales in the lounge room for a week weighing myself every morning silly I know

Punkbaby I am sorry to hear about your sister, having been in her situation and in that frame of mind the more people hassled me to eat the more determined I got not to, just having someone there to hold my hand and smile at me was enough to help me get over some things in my life

[Frazzled]

Ask him to take the scales away, I have done that because it was making me manic. it has helped a lot.

[Zeal]

I hear you hun. I have my times where I think about trying to control my eating like I used to. I am 172 cm and I dropped down to 40kgs when I was 17. I am now 27 and I am a very healthy weight (63kgs), but I have my down days where I think I'd love to have that control again in my life. My advice is repect your body, love and accept yourself, because you are worthy of that

[shelby67]

Hi Pixie,
Please get rid of your scales NOW!!!!!
Its hard enough battling the monsters in your head that berate you for every bite you dare take, even harder with scales sitting there....

Don't have much more advice at the moment as I am not well AGAIN....with anorexia...grrhh.....
REMEMBER HOW IT HURTS WHEN YOU STARVE TOO!!!!
Take care Pixie,
Shelby.

[woven_wings]

I doesnt really leave you... although I personally have found healing and growth and have been able to move on through my Christian faith and Church attendance. I have learnt that I am significant, I am loved, I am priceless and I have been given this life as a gift, so I should use it to its best potential... that means eating properly and using my body as it was beautifully created and designed.

I survived an eating disorder in high school, I was a perfectionist and was trying so hard to make the grades, stress levels were high and my past years of abuse and dealing with that came to bop me on the head. I started to hate myself and who I was. I believe this was somewhat because satan was trying to get at me and make me believe I wasnt worth anything.

I still have my 'I feel fat, 'Im putting on weight', 'Should I really be eating all that?' days but you gotta keep strong, keep at it!