Step Children

[marciatukuafu]

Hi, I need some advise, it's breaking my heart to see my partner hurting on easter. We have recently had our first child (8months) and my partner has children to 2 other mother, (ist mother 15yrs boys 11girl) 2nd mum 9boy. which he called to speak to the kids and the 1st mother said they dont want to know him. and the 2nd mum said to her son do you want to talk to.....an address him by his first name instead of dad

so on this special day, he didnt get to talk to any of his other children. this is not the firs time this as happen. i say to my partner please dont allow your past to affect our future, the children will come around 1 day. i enjoy seeing all of his children, however i dont want special days to be sad days for our future.

is there anything that can be done to make peace with the mothers, so my partner and his children dont miss out on thier bond?.

[tanni_83]

firstly a to u, no one should be sad on special days

is there any legals drawn up as to when he is allowed/supposed to see the children or is it just verbal between him and his ex's ??

[Olismum]

Hi, I really feel for your hubby. My hubby has very little contact with his eldest daughter. It's really hard to watch on days like Fathers Day but she is starting to come around a bit now that she has a mobile phone. My hubby's ex doesn't like him talking with his daughter but now she texts him when she wants to talk.

[lotsababies]

I have 3 step children as well, and in the beginning I thought their mother was deliberatley causing the kids to not want to spend time with their father. But after speaking to their mother myself, the hostility comes from her and not from the children. The kids are old enough to say what they want, and every child goes through a "I hate you" stage, especially when theres a new baby involved who gets to spend every day with "their" dad... The jealousy is RIPE and so are the attitudes which come with that!

In my case, the mothers hostlity was within reason as my husband could "want" to spend more time with his children and her and I both agreed that he avoids the task where possible. But it doesn't take away his reaponsibility as their father. However there were reasons he felt like that and with a little family therapy and anti depressants for dad, we have all reached an amikable situation which suites everyone.

There will always be hostility between the old wife and the new wife, the ex and the husband, but keeping things simple and guilt free is the key to not allowing any built up emotions affect the kids.

Maybe try calling their mothers and chatting to find out whats going on cause they obviously dont want to speak to him about it. If you get hostility from them, maybe it's best letting sleeping dogs lie.