The journey to Ashlyn.
The journey to Ashlyn or Ashlyn to us started on the first of Jan 2006 when i concieved the first pregnancy. This pregnancy ended in miscarraige at 8 weeks during the m/c i had very vivid dreams of saying good bye to this little girl. I became pregnant again straight away (with no period in between) this pregnancy ended in m/c at 6 weeks. After such an emotional start to the year we thought we should wait before trying again. My body was showing no fertile signs so i thought we were safe, umm i guess i was wrong. I felt pregnant straight away as i usually do and had implantation sensations the week before my period was due. I was confident i was pregnant but very cautious to tell anyone because of the previous m/c's. This little being growing inside of me had such a presence like i could reach out and touch it.
The pregnancy continued on and much to family disgust and MISTRUST i saw no care providers. Through the wonderful support of my Dh and my beautiful woman friends i experienced a beautiful pregnancy compared to the experience i had with alissa's pregnancy.
Those last few weeks, will i be pregnant forever?????????????
From 39 weeks i had been starting to dilate, which ment two or three days of vomiting and upset tummy and not much eating and only wanting to SLEEP! This lasted until i birthed her at 42 weeks. Not much fun with hubby running his own business and an active almost two year old.
Christmas came and went as did new years and emotionally i was so up and down but obviously my body was preparing beautifully as was my babe. I had an unassisted pregnancy, did not even pee on a stick. Trust was my motto and in those last few weeks i added surrender to it.
I TRUST MY BODY, I TRUST MY BABE, I SURRENDER TO MY BODY AS IT OPENS, I SURRENDER TO MY BABE TO KNOW HOW BEST TO BE BIRTHED.
BIRTHING DAY BEGINS (please note i refer to contractions as openings)
At 2.30 in the arvo on monday the 8th of Jan 2007, openings begin with a little more intensity than usual. DH is out at a job and alissa is asleep, thinking could this be it i realise that they are comming every ten minutes. Alissa wakes at about 3 o clock and i do my best too read and sing with her. Dh comes home and i let him know that openings are about ten mins apart and if there is anything we need he should get it on the way home from the last job. Meanwhile openings have increased in intensity and i find my self up and swaying my belly through them, when i do this alissa grabs my hands and rocks side to side with me saying, dancing dancing my beautiful little doula knows something is happening. Dh finally gets home at around sixish thank goodness as alissa was just starting to get to me and i realise that i am needing time and space to be able to go into myself more. Dh has brought home chicken and chips at my request and we have some dinner. Dh closes up the blinds and turns off the lights and we all watch alissa's birth photos followed by our wedding photos accompained by evanescence new and old cd's. We then watch some t.v. and get alissa ready for bed. I decide to snuggle with alissa and hopefully fall asleep to get some rest. No such luck, alissa falls asleep easily and quickly and i find myself increasingly uncomfortable lying down and i also wanted to spend some time with Dh. For the next few hours i rest in the lounge area with Dh massaging my back with some labour massage oil. I then have a shower and head to bed at around midnight (my usual bedtime) to get to sleep i have Dh rub the labour massage oil into my feet which was Bliss!
Alissa wakes at around one thirty in the morning for a bottle, she drinks it and falls back asleep as she normally does. I try to get comfy but i feel restless and it suddenly clicks that my openings have intensified again. I have a quick look at the time and it is ten to two in the morning, i had hoped to have had a little more sleep, oh well. I get into the shower and bath (all in one) put the plug in to fill the bath with the shower water. The shower was great and i some how manage to squish myself into a sitting postion in the bath that keps me open and was somewhat comfy during openings. I spend the next hour and a half here feeling happy and relaxed, concentraiting on relaxing my pelvic floor, visualising my cervix opening and taking a nice big breath in and out (opening my mouth into an 'O' shape whilst keeping my jaw relaxed). I have a "bl**dy show" this gives me renewed energy as it is a sign of progression i decide at this point that i will do no more self checks of my cervix this was the sign i needed to relax and let go and i finally believe that my little babe was on her way. After a while i feel the need to move downstairs only i know that once i got down there i would not be able to make it back up to wake Dh, so i decide to wake Dh up LOL! I spend about five minutes shaking him to try to wake him while having openings which require me to be more vocal with my breath luckily alissa does not wake up and Dh does (we all share matresses on the floor). Its around three thirty in the morning and openings have kicked up to another level. We set my nest of cushions and water proof sheets and sheets up on the floor in the lounge area.
Read on to the post below