Grandparents rights?

**unhappy** · 04-04-2007 12:43

I am just wondering if people could give me some information about grandparents rights?
I make sure that i send out an email every fortnight with photos and info on what our ds is up to. We also make an effort to see ds's grandparents once a month for half a day. My ds is only 10 months old and i think this is plenty of interaction with his grandparents.
My dh and i are always made to feel like we dont see them enough.
When i was young my grandmother looked after my brother and i alot and it caused huge family wars after a while and my mother and grandmother now no longer speak... havent for years. I do not want this happening with my children and for that reason i dont want my children being looked after by grandparents ever. I am a SAHM and i am more than capable of looking after my child.
So i guess my question is... what rights do grandparents now have? if we are making an effort to see them once a month and always keep them updated... are we doing the right thing? or are they entitled to more legally?
I hope someone can help. i am pregnant and emotional and want to know where i stand.

**catalicious** · 04-04-2007 12:48

If ent to a court or something because they think they deserve more access it probably would go far so long as you dont see them less than this.....

Grandparents auntys uncles all have the same rights which is alot apparently..

They can get access to a child be it for a day or a weekend if they can prove the deserve it and should have it just ike any father or mother could if the other parent took the kids...

But its not like you have said they cant see your child so i dont think this would be an issue for yourself

**oleander** · 04-04-2007 12:52

I remember reading somewhere that grandparents have rights to see their grandchildren and could take legal action if they are being denied seeing them.

Check the family court website.

**Kells** · 04-04-2007 12:54

From your message I gather things are okay between you and the grandparents??

If that is the case, I reckon once a month (depending on the distance you have to travel) probably isnt enough. If I was a grandparent (or even a parent of adult kids) I would want to see them more than this.

This is, of course, providing you dont fight or whatever.

JMO

We see my parents (who live 15 min away so it's easy) once a week.

My kids are really close to them and it is fantastic to have a babysitter if needed (it doesnt need to be a lot or a regular thing - but keep the option open)

My MIL lives interstate, so we only see her about 4 times a year, and the kids are distant with her, but then, she's a weirdo so that could be why!!

**unhappy** · 04-04-2007 12:59

It is my inlaws that are causing me to feel anxious about it all... things are not great between us. i dont get along with them that well but i do go out of my way to do the right thing for my ds.
I may suggest to Dh that we let them come over once a fortnight for a few hours. we live over an hour away so its not like its just around the corner.
Thanks for your replies so far.

**SassyMummy** · 04-04-2007 13:21

I think Grandparents should have rights providing they won't put your child into any danger or anything. Of course, if they just bad-mouth you or whatever all the time, then I'd be telling them to get stuffed... but if they're just wanting to spend more time with their grandkids... well, I can't see a problem there.

**unhappy** · 04-04-2007 13:51

well i have spoken to dh and we are going to ask them if they would like to come around every secong week to see him. Maybe this will make them happy! doubt it though.
Thanks for your replies.
I have never really been welcomed warmly into the family and my SIL has the nerve to call me all kinds of horrible things behind my back. Dh doesnt really speak with her too often and she is overseas so it doesnt really affect us too much but his parents still mamage to cause some problems when they want to. Everything has to be THEIR way or its not good enough. I am not going to have my life revolve around what they want us to be doing.
So i think every second week sounds like a plan! surely this would be enough time with their grandson???!!!

**Ashleigh<3** · 04-04-2007 14:08

Thats a good idea. Chloe has never met DF's grandparents, but we see DF's parents quite often.
We live with my parents so they see her all the time. My parents are very weary of us moving out for more then one reason, the know they are going to miss her so much and never see her as often.

The thing is, grandparents are old, and they're always thinking about, what happens if i'm not here tomorrow? I want to make the most of my life, see my family the most I can while I'm alive.
My grandparents all live in the states and they are very sad, I do what you do, every two weeks send them an update on whats going on along with photos but I know we're going to have to hop on a plane, I feel sorry for them.

If they are becoming a rude inconvienence, tell them you are not pleased, you call the shots considering this is your child.

When my Aunt passed away, she left behind a 21 year old son, 4 years old twin boys, the twins Dad was really mean and never had much to do with them, until the government contacted him about having rights to their kids money, because their mother was receiving medical treatment for her cancer, the government was putting $2000 into each of their accounts per fortnight, because she died, she had no access to their accounts, my grandparents took him to court, tried to get full time custody, they brang up the issue of the kids money which was $30 000 each, they wanted it to be safe for college, they lost the case. Only see my cousins once a blue moon, are heart broken because they've lost their daughter, and they had to watch the twins father use all of their college money on cars.

I say grandparents do have a right, in certain cases though.

**missie_mack** · 04-04-2007 14:26

Yeah a hour away isnt really around the corner. When I was younger we seen my grandparents probably every weekend but that really is exceptional these days. I would think if you make the effort to see them once a month you are making an effort and if they want to see their grandchild more often they can come to you the other fortnight- I imagine from what you are saying your inlaws are young enough and mobile enough to be able to do that.

**OnceAMereHumanNowAMum** · 04-04-2007 15:28

"Grandparents rights" is designed to protect the rights of the child, not the grandparent.

In fact, as one of the other posters mentioned, it doesn't have to be a grandparent, it can be any relative, or even a close family friend.

The focus of the legislation is that a child has a right to contact with any person who is significant to their development or has an interest in their welfare, so long as the contact is in the best interests of the child.

I think once a month for grandparents who live an hour away is reasonable, especially if it is you that has to do the travelling. Of course, any grandparent would like as much time as possible with their grandkids, so it is kind of you to be willing to increase the visits.

You can find more info by going to the family law website.

If you are being threatened by family with this legislation, seek legal advice and find out where you stand. I should imagine that since you haven't actually denied them access, they would have a difficult case ahead of them.

Good luck!