Long birth, still not recovered

[Sarahg]

Hi Girls,
I gave birth to my darling little boy 11 weeks ago. I was hoping for a five hour water birth, but the boy was posterior and I suffered a 37 hour labour - 15 hours of it under epidural on my back. I'm only 5'1" and he was 3590 grams - not little! I had an episiotomy after 2 hours of pushing and a vaccuum extraction to get him out. At the time my temperature spiked, so they dosed us both up on antibiotics. My subsequent stay in hospital was absolutely horrible and just added to my trauma. He was taken to the Special care nursery for observation – so I was by myself with no baby or husband when they finally transferred me to the wards. I was absolutely beside myself I found it very difficult to breastfeed and it took 6-7 days for my milk to finally come in. (not to mention the huge hemorragh with no transfusion or the shock that I was in straight after the birth.)
I had no initial pain in the peri area and only had one ice pack in hospital (now I realise the whole area was numb.)

3 weeks later my whole vag swelled up like a sausage balloon, and I went off to the doc who confirmed I had an infection - not cleared up from the birth. My son then had a severe reaction to the horrible anitbiotics I was put on. I had to wean.

I was in constant pain and described it as a soreness at the front of my vagina (near the urethra opening) and feeling grazed. At my six week check I made my doc do a swab, which came back with nothing. Again at 8 weeks I had an internal swab at my insistence - a minor infection was diagnosed. so more antibiotics.
AT this point I was getting frustrated, and the antib's hadn't made me feel any better. I am constantly exhausted, depressed and have nagging pain in the whole genital and abdominal area. Occaisionally there's also been blood when doing a poo too. I can't walk very far without getting tired, have not been able to walk round the block and it takes me two hours to walk/hobble around the shops. By the end it feels like my bum is about to fall out.
I got my dr to write a referral to a gyno. I saw Dr John Howland at the North West in Brisbane who straight away knew what was wrong.

I have terrible scarring from the birth around the circumference of my vagina. This has not healed properly and is pulling on all the muscles. I also have a rectal tear. THese two injuries are pulling on all the muscles in the area causing them to work over time and weakening them. Hence the pain. At the time I was told it was 2nd degree tearing but I think it was more like 3rd.

I burst into tears when the doc told me. I am having surgery this wednesday 4 april to fix it. I can't carry or pick up anything heavy for four weeks afterwards including my beautiful little boy. I might also need further surgery.

We attempted intercourse once, and haven’t since. The gyno has said not to even attempt it till way after the op (he said I’ll hit the roof in pain if we do). At least we can amuse ourselves in other ways (I can still have an O without too much discomfort).

I am depressed, I spent yesterday in bed all afternoon. In constant discomfort and pain, and regret ever getting pregnant and never want to do it again (though I love my son and think he's amazing).

My husband has been amazing through all of this, but is losing his ability to cope too.

I am going to have counseling after I am recovered from the surgery.

I wish I had stayed private rather than switching to public.

Four out of the five girls I know had posterior first baby’s in January. Only two of us birthed vaginally with our op babies.

I have also posted a version of this under Newbie story under the traumatic births bit.

[SilverStarfish]

Wow! What a story... I don't know what to say, other than I'm so glad that you still see your son as the beautiful baby that he is, and that it sounds like you have a very supportive husband. And I think it's also wonderful that you are seeking counselling too - you're a very brave, strong lady!

[javalava]

Good luck for your upcoming op!!! Im so sorry you had to go through all that. Im sure that the public system wasnt to blame. do you think that they did something to cause this?

Both my kids were posterior. They were 10 and 5 hour labours. I really think it just depends on your body, not so much which position the baby is in. Although im sure ill get an arguement on that i just didnt see the trouble. If postirior births are hard id like to see how quick i could have and anterior bub lol.

[PinkBinkie]

Sorry sarahg that you had to go through that. Good on you for seeking help, and going to a gyno when you knew something was not right. I hope the surgery goes well for you and that you are feeling great soon. It's so tough being a new mum when you're feeling well, I can't imagine what you're going through, so to you. I had long labours with both my children, 1st posterior. I haemorraged after her birth. My tear and grazes were mostly caused by the doctor who had to put his hand back up there to control the bleeding. Not very pleasant. What us women have to go through hey
All the best

[javalava]

Sorry sarahg that you had to go through that. Good on you for seeking help, and going to a gyno when you knew something was not right. I hope the surgery goes well for you and that you are feeling great soon. It's so tough being a new mum when you're feeling well, I can't imagine what you're going through, so to you. I had long labours with both my children, 1st posterior. I haemorraged after her birth. My tear and grazes were mostly caused by the doctor who had to put his hand back up there to control the bleeding. Not very pleasant. What us women have to go through hey
All the best

I just witnessed my best friend give birth to her son on Thursday and her doctor did that! She wasnt at all impressed but i guess it stopped the bleeding and thats the main thing.

Apparently long births cause the hemmoraging. But i dont know why? Does anyone know the cause of that?

[Chumps]

What a hard time you have had . I have to admit, as I was reading through your post, I was wondering if you had been a private or public patient. Then I read the bit about wishing you had of stayed private. I know every experience is different, but for myself, I've had one procedure done in a public hospital & it prompted me immediately to take out private health insurance & I will never look back. I really feel for you, I hope you get through this time in your life & start enjoying your life with your hubby & son as you should. Good luck on Thursday. Take one day at a time .

[PinkBinkie]

Yes, haemorrage did occur from long labour. I know it has to do with the uterus but not exactly sure what happens. I should have asked!

[Sarahg]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. Will post to let you know how the surgery goes.

Sarahg

[mum2my4]

What a rough start to motherhood you have had.

I hope your surgery goes well and you have an easy recovery from it.

The counselling sounds like a good idea, it always helps to get it all out.

Take care

[mum3]

Hi Sarah,

You poor thing, I can really understand what you went through my labour sounds identical. My first boy was three days pre labour 12 hours of full on 2min contractions, posterior, I too hemoraged and had a fever. My son caught group b strep and nearly died. His agpars were 4 and 6. I had third degree tearing that didnt heal untill my second posterior son was born and ripped me up again a second time. Thank god you are getting it fixed. my first son's birth contributed to my recently failed marriage as I was unable to have sex for the first year without extreme paid. My husband was having plenty of sex though !! just not with me. A pattern he unfortunatly contined throughout the rest of our marriage. I too blame the public system. This would never had happened had i been private. I was begging for a c sec and was repeatedly refused. If I was private they would have given me one before all the damage was done. Good luck with the surgery.