Expressions from passersby - breast - part2

[veronica]

I was having a browse through the forum and was interested in this thread posted by another in feeding - bottlefeeding:

I was at a private hospital today and my baby needed feeding. She is a fussy feeder when out and she even has a problem having a bottle feed as eveything distracts her. (It is her age 61/2 mths) I noticed as I was sitting in the hallway outside the very small waiting room that I got smiles and expressions that seemed to say how beautiful it was to see a breast feed baby.
I had been trying to feed her for about 20 minutes and I was not into just letting it hang out while she swung her head back to see what that was going by so I decided to make my back up, her bottle.
Well it was from then that I noticed the looks went from a oh how lovely to a stare.
I was puzzled for a second then realising I was bottle feeding and that it was less approved of than the breast. I had no smiles or sweet looks just hard stares.
These people that stared were aged from young to old and not one person gave me a disapproving look when I was breastfeeding only bottle feeding.

The point of my thread is NOT to pass judgement on bottlefeeders - I personally think that we all do the very best for our bubs and we shouldn't judge . I do however find her experience interesting and wanted to write about my experience of breastfeeding and see what others have observed. I actually haven't ever bottle fed, just because now that I wouldn't mind a break she won't take it, even though it is EBM.

My experience is:

I've rarely noticed disapproval at breastfeeding in public until recently. I am wondering if its just because I've moved back to my homestate QLD from where we were recently living in Victoria - maybe Qld is more conservative?

OR is it because my bub is now older and she is a very tall bub for her age(nearly grown out of size 0 yet is only 6 months old)?

Anyway I thought it was interesting - most of the rude looks were from older people. Maybe they see it as rude - yet I'm as discrete as possible.

I'm also wondering about the perspective of mums who have fed their bubs beyond 6 mths. As they get older I know they need less feeds so I won't need to be doing it in public much but have you noticed any reactions to feeding bubs as they get older? I've certainly had many comments about making sure I don't feed too long as it will "waste me away" - theres not much chance of that! and that "your milk goes off" or some such rubbish! - Thats what solids are for!

Anyway sorry to ramble - I really do need to learn to write concisely and clearly (as I had to edit!) - but I'd love feedback on these two issues.

[jakobsmum]

I never pass judgement on anybody about breast or bottle feeding. I did the lot. Breast fed, bottle fed EBM and bottle fed formula. I never had any bad experiences that I recall. I now know how hard it is to breast feed (establish) as well, so understand totally.

Loss of interest in feeding is one of the reasons I gave up breast feeding.

How is anyone with just a glancing look able to distinguish between EBM and formula??

[StormAngel]

Hi
I don't think anybody should pass judgement on any mother and if they did it's none of their buisness.
I bottle fed my first 2 babies and breastfed the second 2 and never a word or look was passed to either

[Eleni's Mum]

Hiya,

I just wanted to say I've only ever had positive feedback from b/f in public. I even had two older people one man, 1 woman come up and say good on you! (I'm in QLD). The only strange moment was when my dd unattached herself and a young guy looked at just that moment his jaw dropped - it was soooo funny. But it's only ever been positive and I had actually been preparing myself for bad looks. My dd is now 10 months and we're still going strong.

[mamafelix]

I still b/f Felix in public occasionally (he's 2) and I've never had any comments, negative or positive. As far as looks go- well it can be hard to interpret people's looks, sometimes when you're feeling vulnerable it seems like everyone is looking disapprovingly- maybe they're just having a bad day...

I think if you look confident and happy people are much less likely to say something too- it's harder to challenge someone when they come froma strong position.
I don't really seek to make eye contact with people when I'm feeding- maybe that's why I've never noticed any looks? Or maybe they can't believe I'm really feeding him??
If you do feel uncomfortable feeding in public, I'd recommend using a sling or sarong or something just to make you feel better. Or a large sized t shirt that bub can fit under.