they all did a no show on my birthday (sorry long vent)

**zafyrezmummy** · 17-03-2007 14:44

Yesterday it was my birthday, being that it was a friday aswell, we thought we'd invite friends and family over for drinks to help celebrate.
DP thought it was a good idea considering the last two years i've been battling depression and other issues, we felt i was ready to celebrate as i've been getting better since DD was born.
Also a few people said i should have a party, that they would like to come, that its tradition to have a party etc etc, so i caved and agreed to invite everyone over on the friday night that was my bday.
So yesterday was the day.
DP had the day off work, and when DD woke up crying for her morning feed, i thought that he'd perhaps get up too, and maybe make me a cuppa or something? when he didnt i kinda cracked it a bit and muttered under my breath (i know i can be a brat sometimes but it was my birthday)
anyway, all that resulted in was causing a big argument where i got called this and that etc and i was sitting there in tears thinking how did i get to this?
so most of the day passed without much conversation and me feeling sorry for myself. Anyway, he snapped out of it and things were better between us after that and we set up for the party
I think it was about 9pm when i realised no one was coming though.
My mum had a migraine and couldnt make it, and also one of my friends had just got out of hospital and wasnt felng too good so they had rung earlier to tell me and wish me a happy bday anyway.
My Dp's dad, J turned up, who i dont even get along with that great, and my sister and her fella and their boarder showed up for a few hours, but she wasnt feeling good either so didnt have a drink and they didnt stay long unfortunately.

Everybody else that we invited, about 10 people and their partners, just didnt show up at all, didnt hear from any of them, no phone calls, nothing.
Which makes me think, well, what is wrong with me?
Anytime anyone has a birthday, or anything to celebrate i always make sure i put an effort in for them. When people are over i'm always polite and friendly and i think I'm a good host, i'll always offer anything i have, but when it comes to when people have a chance to do something nice for me, like even just showing up, they dont.
its hard not to think that i dont have a big neon sign on my head that says "idiot"

I think its getting me down moreso this year because i thought things had changed, that the group of friends i had now were different. When we were pg with Zaffy we moved and i cut ties with all my old friends because they were toxic, and i wanted to have DD in a stable safe loving environment.
i guess i'm just feeling sorry for myself and lonely.

My beau (DP) has tried to make it up to me since! He's been a sweetie all night and today and is paying for me to go to the hairdressers this week! so not all is bad.

thanx for letting me vent
Take care all

V8 · 17-03-2007 15:04

For you for yesterday! I'm so sorry that your birthday wasn't what you expected. It was good that at least your sister showed up for a little it even if it wasn't for long. Some people are also just rude for not ringing. I am the same, always go out of my way to send presents and cards for birthdays and never get a thankyou back, which is really horrid.

Glad to hear at least your DP is being nice to you. Birthdays sometimes suck, next time just have no expectations that way you are never disappointed lol.

**SassyMummy** · 17-03-2007 15:14

I had a cr*ppy birthday recently too - 8th March. I even posted a vent about it. lol.

I was lucky though, that people that I DID invite to my birthday dinner the next night, actually turned up. Mind you, I invited like, 2 friends and then my Mum, Dad and Brother, so not many people...

I would be feeling really sh*t too. People seem to care less about us as we get older... at least in my experience. If anything, I think that's when we need MORE support, love and celebration... because that's when we're out in the real world, having to deal with real-life problems. So it really DOES suck when people are totally rude and seem to forget that we have feelings.

If I were you, I'd probably be bitter and send them all a letter thanking them for making your birthday so special, and thank them for making an effort to come along to your birthday. Obviously, it'd be some sarcastic, immature "look how you made me feel!" type of thing... but I'd probably do it anyway (except for your mother and the girl who got out of hospital - at least they called to tell you!).

Or, when THEY have an event coming up, tell them you'll come and then don't. Don't even call. Just don't go. If they bring it up, say, "It doesn't feel very nice, does it?"

Again, immature and a bit b*tchy, but... oh well.

**Mum2Bug** · 17-03-2007 15:17

aww

from the buggies hun.

That really is very immature and disappointing of them. I dont blame you for being upset about it.

And I hope DP spends the whole weekend sucking up

You deserve it!!!

**InSaneOne** · 17-03-2007 15:18

i can so understand that.

for yesterday - i hope that your next one is better.

this year is my 25 birthday too. dh is 40 1 week before my birthday and all of my family have decided that they will go on holidays this year before easter. as my birthday is on easter sunday i decided to have a big lunch to celebrate my birthday/easter. and my mum and dad and my sister and my granparents will all be out of state visiting my uncle. - not once did anyone of them ask me if i wanted to go to melbourne too. no they just up and desert me. so they all will be missing my birthday and my dh's. if it weren't for dh's family i would feel so unloved. thank god they are understanding when it comes to birthdays.

so i told them all last week not to expect me to come to any of their birthdays this year. and i couldn't care less if that upsets them because they can't even be bothered to be there for mine.

sorry to hijack your thread. it is a special day in our lives and you only get so many of them. celebrate while you can and bugger the rest of them. they don't deserve to have you as a friend.

**munchkin05** · 17-03-2007 15:21

for yesturday

sorry it was such a **** night for you
hope you enjoy the hairdressers !!!!!!!!!!!!

**Blessed Mum** · 17-03-2007 15:22

for yesterday too. That really sucks. I'm sorry that you were ignored like that & for your birthday too.

Enjoy the rest of ur weekend with your DP & DD

**catalicious** · 17-03-2007 15:24

Originally Posted by SassyMummy

IIf I were you, I'd probably be bitter and send them all a letter thanking them for making your birthday so special, and thank them for making an effort to come along to your birthday. Obviously, it'd be some sarcastic, immature "look how you made me feel!" type of thing... but I'd probably do it anyway (except for your mother and the girl who got out of hospital - at least they called to tell you!).

Unfortunatly i would do this too and have done it before..

I hope your days start getting better...

Happy Birthday for Yesterday

and I hope getting your hair done is a very relaxing and fun experience..

**lovingmotheract** · 17-03-2007 15:30

to you if it was me and you lived in canberra i would of come

**mum2bubba** · 17-03-2007 16:02

first of all.

Secondly, I am very sorry that your "friends" are like this, I think its rather rude of them (of ANYONE) not to at least ring and say happy birthday, I understand that things come up sometimes but that is just plain rude. My dad organised for a birthday lunch last year for my birthday (like he does every year) but half an hour before we were about to go (we were all dressed and ready) he rings up to say that my sister (who was 22 and can take care of herself) has a cold and the day is cancelled. I can understand if she was dying or whatever but a cold? Me, Grant and Hayley went out that night (only because I made a fuss) and we also went out the week after but my sister never apologised or anything.

Anyway I hope your friends make it up to you