Kids Say the Darndest Things!

**ThomasMum** · 05-12-2005 19:03

I've got this email from work, thought I post it here and hope you'll have a good laugh from it!

TM

Here are some reasons why you should think before you speak - the
last one is great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a
hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

| >>>FIRST TESTIMONY:
| >>>
| >>>I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
| >>>and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow
| >>>job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
| >>>My husband didn't say a
| >>>word...he knew better.
| >>>
| >>>SECOND TESTIMONY:
| >>>
| >>>I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
| >>>was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
| >>>for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
| >>>male sales reps. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I
| >>>looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
| >>>
| >>>THIRD TESTIMONY:
| >>>
| >>>My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
| >>>variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
| >>>the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied,
| >>>"No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh
| >>>hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked
| >>>away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
| >>>
| >>>FOURTH TESTIMONY:
| >>>
| >>>While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
| >>>release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
| >>>grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance
| >>>from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving
| >>>"right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in
| >>>the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let
| >>>me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's

| >>>pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this
| >>>enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
| >>>doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the
| >>>bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door
| >>>closed behind me, were screams of laughter.
| >>>
| >>>FIFTH TESTIMONY:
| >>>
| >>>Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
| >>>three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
| >>>was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
| >>>lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining
| >>>room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of
| >>>course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. I
| >>>realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I
| >>>asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh

| >>>Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
| >>>with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
| >>>accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an
| >>>accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one

| >>>more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped
| >>>up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and
| >>>yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked
| >>>to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and

| >>>sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the
| >>>best laugh they'd ever had!
| >>>
| >>>LAST TESTIMONY:
| >>>
| >>>This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a
| >>>very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely

| >>>think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but
| >>>don't get any? We had a female news anchor that, the day after it
| >>>was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman
| >>>and asked: "So Jim, where's that 8 inches you promised me last
| >>>night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew
| >>>did; too they were laughing so hard!

| >>>Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on if you think someone you
| >>>know needs a laugh.
| >
| >

**the_queen** · 05-12-2005 19:08

LMAO that's great!!! I love it!!!! Especially "see mom its just farts"

Once my DD and I were laying in my bed, having some lovely quality time together before sleep-time. She was 2, we were talking about colours. I would say "what is blue" she would say "the sky" etc etc. I eventually said "what is yellow" and she said "your teeth mummy" .............. what a dear child..............!!!