Tearing..

**Seekrit** · 05-12-2005 07:41

I'm terrified of this.

We three kids (ie: my sister, brother and I) were just wee small babies but my mum tore a lot with each of us.

I'm worried that it's a heireditary (wow, spelling's GREAT on a monday morning) thing. I told my MIL this last night and her MIL told me that it only used to happen because babies were delivered fast, which they're not as much anymore.
Is that the case?

I'm just a worrisome one.

**tickle** · 05-12-2005 07:53

From what I've read, tearing can be avioded or reduced by the assistance of a really good middy. I'm no expert though, Janet or Felicity would be the best to answer your question.
Good luck
E

**melfunction** · 05-12-2005 08:00

I tore, but I was told no one would have been able to stop me as K was born in 2 hours... I didn't feel it either..

**Imogensmum** · 05-12-2005 08:53

I think that it is true about the quick labour and tearing! I had a 4.5hr labour and i tore!

It really wasn't that bad- i didn't feel it and it was only slightly sore for the few days after birth( i had 3rd degree tear.)

Best of luck with it- i got told to try perineal massage- massaging the skin of the perineum! (don't know how you'd do this with a big bump but maybe worth a try- i really don't know if it will help!

**alissa-mareesmum** · 05-12-2005 09:41

Hi,

I also had this fear with alissa, she was tiny and the midwife used a warm compress on my perenium (sp) to help ease my body with the stretching. I pushed for an hour and a half most of this was alissa stretching me (she would slightly slide back up until my body was prepared to stretch enough for her to crown). So if your body may need some time to do this don't be worried. Because of my body taking its time i did not tear only had a little bit of grazing. My middy was great the whole time she kept reassuring me that my body was doing a great job and she even told me that alissa was just making room for the next baby LOL

So in planning for no.2 i have purchased the pink kit it is a book, DVD and CD. It is fantastic it is designed so that the woman and her partner or support person can work through it together. It goes through different possitions for labouring and birthing to help the woman to remain open and encourage the baby down. It also has a section for preparing your vagina and perenium to open and stretch during the birth to help prevent tearing. It is easy to follow and understand i wish i had it to prepare myself for alissa's birth, i think every first timer should have it to help eleviate the worry of the unknown of labour and birth, gives you confidence and trust in your body to do what it is designed to do, give birth

**JanetF** · 05-12-2005 09:43

Do you know what position your mum birthed in? Lying on your back creates tearing because your peri can't stretch as it should. Being upright, pushing only when your body can't NOT push, no coached pushing are all great ways to avoid tearing. I know many women who've birthed babies over 10 and 11lbs with not even a graze because they've followed those guidelines. Other women can tear pushing out a 6lber. I think genetics plays a part, as it does in stretchmarks, but like I said above, there are many ways to minimise it.
PM me if you want any more

This is a huge resource.
http://gentlebirth.org/Midwife/perinealProtection.html

alicesmum · 05-12-2005 09:57

my DD was 8 1/2 punds with 37cm head (big!) and using active birth techniques (moving around, birthing in an upright position etc) i needed no stitches, whereas my mother had an episiotemy and forceps when she had me and I was only 7pds 10. And as alissa-mareesmum said, taking your time when pushing also helps alot.

An aside, can JanetF or someone pls tell me what "grazing" means?? I don't know if I had this or not

. i had a tiny tear that didn't need stitching and lots of swelling and bruising but what is grazing????????????????????????

**alissa-mareesmum** · 05-12-2005 10:51

Alicesmum my midwife said i had some grazing, i didn't ask her what it was i was to happy that i didn't need stitches or anything. I think it is when you graze the inside of your vagina, it doesn't need stitches or anything but you have some light damage to the tissue, i think of it like when you graze your arm or leg. I know that you need to wait until it has healed itself other wise sex can be very painful. By six weeks it was all good.

Hope that helped, thats my thinking of grazing of course i could be wrong.

**Seekrit** · 05-12-2005 15:44

Wow, thank you muchly, you've set my mind at ease.. mostly

Janet - I have no idea what position mum was in, probably on her back?

I'll have to buy some of those books and stuff

Thanks

**jaydensmum** · 06-12-2005 06:44

They say that tearing can be reduced by perineal massage during pg. It also really has to do with how flexible your skin is. I never massaged during labour and never tore, not even a little. I pushed out a 9lb 3oz baby, i was sure that i was going to tear but i didnt. I wouldnt worry about it too much. If you are worried maybe try the massage and talk to your midwive what she suggests.

jaydensmum