How did you deal with it?

**SugarBlossom** · 02-12-2005 19:55

Hi all,
I really want to b/f till codie is at least 2 years or when he's ready to give it up.
But when I tell SOME ie: MIL, and others I get the worst looks and comments.

Not thats it's their business or not that it will stop me, but I was wondering how the rest of you feel or how you deal/dealt with these i people?.
I beleive b/f needs encouragement and support, cos it really is the best....I love b/fing!

On the MIL subject, she basically says my attachment parenting is quote "bloody bulls!*T and ridiculous!! And she dosen't yet know we co sleep and are anti immunisation! (I'm too scared to tell her that

)

Thanks in advance beautiful mamas

**BIANCA-mummy of 2** · 02-12-2005 20:20

Hey Mamma of Codie, Look you know whats bull its that every mother eg MIL has had thier turn and think they know wahts best there will always be someone saying " Oh you shouldnt do that!!" You do what makes you happy I know someone who fed their kids til 4. I wouldnt personally go that far but I think by the time bubs is 2 he wont be feeding much anyway as he's prob on solids and water?? My boy is 1 and he has a bedtime feed a goodmorning feed then solids, water and cows milk through the day in a cup Gp figure?? LOL.

**aardvark** · 02-12-2005 20:39

Blatant disregard or open contempt of other people's comments worked for me! I made it quite clear that I'd do as I fancied, and it was none of their business.

I fed both DD#1 and DD#2 until after their 3rd birthday. I got the most support from my grandmother.

One of the mums in one of my antenatal classes before #2 asked the instructor when was a good time to stop b/f'ing. The instructor was also a lactation consultant, and her comment was that the child would stop when they no longer needed it.

I'd agree with that comment. If they still want it, then they need it, either nutritionally, or emotionally, and either way, it doesn't matter.

As someone who fed older children, I can say that it was good to be able to feed the toddlers when they were unwell, and refusing all other food/fluids, too. A lot less worrying than having a child with a cold or gastro who would take nothing.

Then there is the World Health Organisation statement which is that all babies should be b/f'd until at least the age of 2.

All of that said, once the girls were over 2, I did try to avoid feeding them when we were out. Over the age of 2, they had an understanding of the concept that it was something we did at home.

OM · 02-12-2005 21:12

Originally Posted by JazzPete_n_Codie

Hi all,
I really want to b/f till codie is at least 2 years or when he's ready to give it up.
But when I tell SOME ie: MIL, and others I get the worst looks and comments.

My mother thinks I should have stopped BF when DS turned 6 months

Don't you wish people would just trust your judgement with what's best for your baby.

**the_queen** · 03-12-2005 09:48

My Vallerie had a cleft lip, and after her surgery at 14 weeks she refused to breastfeed anymore (fair enough I think - stitches inside her lip, outside her lip and inside her nose) But it absolutely broke my heart.
This time around, I am planning on breastfeeding until the child doesn't want to anymore. I think I will get a lot of criticism too - but I think the best way to handle people like that is to make it seem like it's THEM who are crazy and weird. I honestly don't know why anyone would CHOOSE not to breastfeed.
People say formula is easier and more convenient - WHAT THE...???
People say your milk is "no good" after a certain time - scientific research completely refutes that ridiculous claim; plus, breastfeeding is not just about nutrition.
People say that breastfeeding is too much work and the mother needs "me time" - but I can't think of any other more time consuming job than sterilising, preparing and heating bottles. Let alone the expense of bottles, teats, formula, sterilising products etc.
People say that the baby needs to bond with Daddy, and feeding is a good way to do that - but so is bathing, changing, playing, rocking, etc etc.
People say that AP parenting techniques "spoil" the child - How exactly can you spoil a baby with love?? Sure, a baby won't cry as much if you never pick it up. That's because he will learn that you don't care.
People say that a baby "needs to cry, their lungs need it"....... what a crock of sh!te. My response to this is "here, let me cut your arms open - after all, veins need to bleed!"

Keep your chin up mama!!! You are doing a FANTASTIC job and don't you dare let anyone make you beleive otherwise!!! They're your children, you know what is best for them.
Good luck!!

**Rainbowbrite** · 03-12-2005 20:17

I LOVE everything the_queen has said. I was told to stop bf my 6month old by more than one Dr because I apparently need "me" time. If I wanted that, i wouldnt have chosen to have a baby

I have all intentions of bf MJ until she wants to stop. Why pay for something that I make for free. We also cop a lot of flack because we co-sleep, dont let MJ cry, practice baby wearing etc.

I think the people who comment are just nosy. What business is it of theirs how we raise our children. They've had their turns.

Do what you think/know is best. Always remember, we are here to support you

RB

**SugarBlossom** · 03-12-2005 20:50

Ahhhhh...thanks guys, you really know how to make a mama feel better!

I think letting baby cry....not so good, wearing baby....love it(although he is getting a little heavy!!) co sleeping.....fantastic, using natural remedies......awesome......... Anyway, I do have a point.....I'm not letting anyone make me feel bad for what is instinct!! And neither should anyone!!

So all I'm gonna say to next rude person is Does Codie look unhappy/unhealthy to you?? No?? Well, Mind your own business!!

**Baby Girl** · 03-12-2005 21:48

As far as I am concerned - parenting for both mum and dad should be an instinctive process - heck do other animals ridicule each other for they way they raise their young? BIG FAT NO!!!

Humans could do with taking a good look at the animal kingdom and get back to trusting their instincts and letting others do the same.

Whether it is AP, bottle feeding, feeding solids, even down to folding a nappy, someone is going to disagree with the way you have chosen to do it and it is 'human nature' that they just have to say something.

You do what feels right for YOU AND CODIE (and your partner) - tell your MIL to stick her head in the sand!!

Or you could just tell her you have changed your mind and are going to keep b\f until he finishes high school

!!

**JanetF** · 05-12-2005 09:44

What a great thread

alicesmum · 05-12-2005 10:08

i don't have any more advice apart from what's been said, just wanted to say that I SOOOO sympathise. I don't really know what to say either, except just to smile and say "uh-huh" to those "well-meaning" ppl (my MIL is exactly the same...in fact she seems to think vaginal birth is "too stressful for the baby" and that breastfeeding is quite strange....she did neither, so I think it's just feelings of wishing she could go back and do it all over again which she is reacting to. She had bad advice IMHO all those years ago about birth and feeding. anyway, I digress....)

Alice stopped feeding by herself at 11.5 months and I was very sad as I had wanted to go until 2 as well. I didn't tell hardly anyone that we co-slept for 2 months, as when i did, i got told i was creating "a rod for my own back"

next time i think i won't tell anyone about things i am doing which i think they will disagree with.