Sleep issues.

**angeltoes** · 28-02-2007 09:32

I'm so confused I just don't know what to do. I have a 10mth old who doesn't sleep through the night. He is bottle fed, but doesn't get anything at night. He just wakes and cries to be resettled/pat/rubbed on the back til he is asleep again.

Now. There isn't really a pattern to his wakefulness. Sometimes he sleeps through, but most of the time he wake anything from 3-6 times a night. When we pat him back to sleep it usually only takes 5 minutes or so. Unless it's about 4-5am then it can take half and hour!

I've tried controlled crying but I'm not strong enough to listen to him scream, I just can't do it. But I am now 8 weeks pregnant with #2 and I realise that I will soon grow tired and really need that unbroken chunk of sleep! (or am I kidding myself and I'll never get that?)

I just don't know if I should just deal with the way he is, grin and bare it. Hope he learns to sleep through eventually. Or if I should be trying to actively do something about it.

He is otherwise a happy boy, usually has a couple of good sleeps during the day, eats well (mostly!) and I am happy with his progress.

**nkenward** · 28-02-2007 09:56

It could a number of things. What does he have for dinner? He maybe hungry and needs more at dinner time to fill him up. Does he have his milk before bed at night - what time? Does he have a dummy/teddy to cuddle?

He could be teething. Connor usually sleeps well and is an early riser - 5 to 5:30am in the morning. He sleeps through occassionally. But then he started waking again - but he is getting another tooth. He is now 17mnths and is getting his 16th. They started from 5 mnths. So he is averaging a tooth every couple of weeks. He usually wakes more during the night when that happens.

Otherwise it is a comfort thing - he realises that you will go into him.

But for the odd sleep - does he sleep well with you? Can you take him into your bed at the 4am for a couple of hours - does he sleep then?

Other than that - its just a waiting again - or you try letting him cry. But I have noticed with Connor that there is definitely a different cry - one for attention and another for pain.

**sueliz** · 28-02-2007 10:06

Hey Angeltoes,

How long has this been going on for can I ask? And as nkenward asked, does he have a dummy or anything else with him at night?
How much water has he been drinking? Does he have teeth coming through??

**the_queen** · 28-02-2007 10:14

I would bring him in bed with you for now. Eventually all kids sleep through the night, some earlier than others. There isn't a hard-and-fast rule of when is "normal". Some kids are able to put themselves back to sleep when they stir during the night - others need a bit of extra comforting.
If he's in your bed, then when he wakes you don't need to get up or anything, just cuddle him/pat him etc. And maybe just being with you will help him sleep through the night. Which will then give you a few months of unbroken night-time sleep.

**sueliz** · 28-02-2007 10:22

Originally Posted by the_queen

I would bring him in bed with you for now. Eventually all kids sleep through the night, some earlier than others. There isn't a hard-and-fast rule of when is "normal". Some kids are able to put themselves back to sleep when they stir during the night - others need a bit of extra comforting.
If he's in your bed, then when he wakes you don't need to get up or anything, just cuddle him/pat him etc. And maybe just being with you will help him sleep through the night. Which will then give you a few months of unbroken night-time sleep.

I know a lot of people who do this and it works great for them, (and I think the kids LOVE it!), but unfortunately this doesn't work for us.
If we take my DS into bed with us, he thinks it is time to play and crawl and try and pull the lamp down and it wakes him up more. I think it is because our bed is a futon and is a small double bed perhaps? Also because he has never slept in our bed - he slept in our room, but never in the bed with us because I had a fear of my DH or I rolling onto him during the night!
I might change my tune in years time, but I am looking forward to the day when he will climb into our bed and have a snuggle and a snooze with us!! At the moment the place where he will snuggle AND snooze is if we sit in the rocking chair with him. Which I love - I love that cuddle time, but I can't fall asleep in the chair for fear of dropping him!

**the_queen** · 28-02-2007 10:23

Well, hopefully it will work great for angeltoes

**sueliz** · 28-02-2007 10:26

Originally Posted by the_queen

Well, hopefully it will work great for angeltoes

I hope so too!
I hope it didn't sound like I was being negative or contrary about your advice then btw - I think it's great advice! I just wish my DS would think that as well!

**angeltoes** · 28-02-2007 10:29

nkenward - He is usually a good eater and has a pretty good meal before bed. Then a play, bottle and then bed. He doesn't have a dummy, he used to but has since weaned himself off it. I even left it in the cot for a while incase he wanted it - nope. He has 'cookie' in bed with him always.

He could be teething, I haven't noticed any bumps tho. He only has his two bottom teeth.

I do sometimes take him into the spare bed when he is having a particularly bad night. If I take him into our bed he usually wants to play, or smack daddy in the face

Although that is usually after trying to settle him first and he has had a chance to wake up a bit. Maybe if I just put him straight in he might, I'll have to try.

Sueliz - We have been in our new house for about 6 weeks, but he was like this before we moved! He has never slept through.
He doesn't really drink much water. Usually still has 4 x 200ml bottle of formula though. Should he have more water? I offer it to him through out the day, if its hot he'll drink more, but he usually just plays with his cup.

the_queen - thanks. I guess I've been feelng pressure as my SIL keeps giving us the number for the sleep school she took her boys to, and saying how brilliant it is - BLAH BLAH. Love her dearly, but its all about letting your kid scream itself to sleep and I'm just not going to do that. *sigh* Can't someone just invent a kid with a sleep switch?

**the_queen** · 28-02-2007 10:29

LOL I know what you mean Sue - I wish my DS would agree with me when I say that dead flies do not make great eating...

**the_queen** · 28-02-2007 10:30

Sleep switch LOL that would be brilliant, wouldn't it!!

Don't worry - soon enough he'll be a teenager who won't get out of bed before noon and barely speaks except to grunt "when's dinner"