Is this better off left alone?

**Ange&Seth** · 27-02-2007 00:58

Ok, so I had this really close friend (I'll call her K) and she and DPs best mate (we'll call him C) were together on and off for a year or so. She's also DS's godmother. It was very rare for us to go more than 2 or 3 days without seeing eachother.

Anyway, she met another guy while out one night, broke up with C, and within a week was practically living with this new guy. Because of the close relationship between DP and C, I guess K thought that I'd take his side over hers. Truth is, I didn't take sides at all, but I was disappointed over the way she treated C. So K and I haven't really had much to do with eachother since this happened about 4 months ago.

Now, at the time I was of the opinion that if that's how she wanted to be, then I didn't care and that if I'd been given the chance, I would have approved of her with this new guy. As it was, I found out through someone else.

But truth of the matter is, I do care. I want her to be happy, I want DS to know her, I want to be able to catch up for coffee and hang out.

I've been thinking about it all night, and I emailed her, just basically saying hi and did she want to catch up but I got an auto reply saying that she's on leave for 2 weeks.

I guess what I'm after is this :- I have tried to contact her before now, but she's just been really formal and weird. Should I leave it be? Or should I txt her and try once more because maybe she's not sure how to handle our friendship after all that's happened?

Oh and that new guy? Well they're now living together and by all accounts, she's deliriously happy

Thanks in advance guys, I really need some help here

(P.S. She also thinks that I don't trust her due to a betrayal a long time ago, even though I've assured her that there's no problem with that.)

**damien's mum** · 27-02-2007 01:09

I would probably give her a second chance, ONLY for the sake of her being in your child's life. It's hard, coz if you put yourself in her shoe's you would probably feel that it wasn't right to be friends with her, because your dh and her ex were such great friends..

It's really hard, but do what you feel you have to, what is going to make you happy, and put your mind at ease.. GoodLuck

**Snuffys Mum** · 27-02-2007 07:22

It just sounds like a case of gross miscommunication. I'd contact her again and try to make a time to sit down, put it all on the table and move on from it. I'm sure down the track you'll both be laughing about it.

**Ange&Seth** · 27-02-2007 10:45

Originally Posted by Snuffys Mum

It just sounds like a case of gross miscommunication. I'd contact her again and try to make a time to sit down, put it all on the table and move on from it. I'm sure down the track you'll both be laughing about it.

Hopefully

I was hoping to take DS to the park today and just txt K asking her if she wanted to have a picnic lunch with us, but it's raining

**Ange&Seth** · 27-02-2007 14:58

ok so here's the update - I txt'd her, we caught up for coffee (the new boyfriend was there too) and everything seemed to go really well.

I now just have to wait and see if today was a band-aid for the friendship or just an amicable way to say goodbye to it.

**M O P** · 27-02-2007 15:05

Ange I hope it works!

**iluvmeboyz** · 27-02-2007 15:52

i hope it all works out all the best

**Ange&Seth** · 10-06-2007 12:40

Originally Posted by Ange&Seth

I now just have to wait and see if today was a band-aid for the friendship or just an amicable way to say goodbye to it.

Turns out that the coffee catch up was just an amicable way to say goodbye.

We played pool against eachother about a week or 2 after we met for coffee and she was SO fiercely competitive. It was like she HAD to beat me. As it was I beat her and she then didn't speak to me for the rest of the meet. At the end, I said to her in a really nice diplomatic way 'I love you and I miss you but I'm tired of being the one putting in the effort. So, it's up to you now' and I hugged her and left.

To date, I have not heard a thing from her at all.

So, I'm happy that she's happy

**Blessed Mum** · 10-06-2007 12:54

wow thanks for sharing. I have a friendship I have been wondering about a lot lately too, you sharing your story has given me some more to think about.

You are a great person to still be happy for her regardless