Seperation anxiety

[nickalex]

Anyone have any ideas on how to cope with a child who has a real problem being left with anyone other than their parents? Nicholas is almost 1 and this has gone into overdrive. The gym is the main problem, we have been going since he was about 2 months old but a couple of months ago he just started losing it. The regular girl went on holidays and he was fine with the relief lady but now the regular girl is back and he has the problem again with a vengence.
Now I know that she is fine with the kids, I have no reason to believe she is doing anything "wrong". It's just she doesn't have kids and she isn't really a cuddly person if you know what I mean.
However I can't even leave the room at playgroup and these are all women he has known from birth who are very hands on and affectionate with him.
We have gotten over this stage at home, he will quite happily be left to his own devices whereas before I used to have to sneak around cause if he saw me he would start crying even if he had been perfectly fine seconds before.
My eldest was also like this to the point where I actually left the gym for 6 months. This is not an option this time, I can't financially justify paying and not going when I'm sure I could be spending that money on the 3 kids. Also it gives me a break which I feel I need with the 3 still at home and damn it I like looking after myself. I can't get to the gym when my partner is home cause Nic only settles to the boob with his night sleep and he has a will of iron in this regard. Despite the fact that I taught all the kids to self settle, it's just this one sleep which is an issue.

[Chickadee]

*bump*

[motherhoodlmb]

I had this problem with my oldest from about 15 months when he started creche - it continued until he went to school this year. In fact after being there for 3 years, the very last day he went he had to be held back by 3 carers in the playground because he'd get so anxious when I left - not before/not after - but when I left. It was extremely difficult for him and me. Though he was more than happy after 2 mins.

It then continued on at 4yo kinder (though not as bad, but he was still anxious) until, in desperation, I started a star chart and told him it was okay to be upset, but if he wasn't he'd get a star. I'm not a big fan of star charts but it worked.

I digress - I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not sure if it can be 'fixed'. We tried EVERYTHING bar taking him out of creche. He was fine 2 minutes later and all day. Is your son okay after a while or is it continuous?

We tried: Giving him something of mummy's that he had to look after (my precious Broome keyring!); pictures of me and the family laminated; distraction straight away once he got there; helping the carers, etc. Though my son was a bit older. Sorry I can't help more but you're not alone and I hope you can continue to go to the gym.

[nickalex]

I have basically given up on being able to take the kids to the gym but I have been dragging myself out of bed and getting there at 6. The plan is to go in at 6 so that I am sure of a workout and then take them in later so that he can get used to it and it doesn't matter if we have to leave 10 minutes later. However I have been going so hard at it in the morning that I have no interest in going again later .
Meanwhile he still is unhappy at playgroup if I leave his side so realistically I don't think we would be getting much joy from the creche anyhow. I am thinking now that I should just be concentrating on playgroup at this stage and once he starts to find his feet there we may have more luck with the gym.
I am tired I have to get up just after 5 in order to get ready, feed Nic and drive to the gym. I have to sort of dream feed him if he doesn't wake up otherwise he is miserable for the whole hour I am away..he is boob addicted and will not take a bottle as a substitute for the morning feed.