Am i being reasonable?

**carly29** · 11-02-2007 15:26

Hello guys, thought i would put this out so that i can get a few opinions...
DS is 5 years old and has just started grade 1, his father and i split about 4 years ago, i have since re married and have an 18month old son and another bub due in may.
DS's father lives 9 hours away from us, and probably sees his son 4 times a year, and when i can i meet him half way with the drive, ie we meet in the middle.
He wants me to put DS on plane as an unacompanied minor, and after alot of thought i have said no as he isnt socially ready for ths, he has problems with his ears on the plane and cries etc...

I have since recieved a letter for a court hearing and he wants me to drop DS off at his house once a month, and if i cant drop him off he wants me to pay for his plane/train/ automobile expenses + loss of wages for days travelling the 18 hour round trip!, all because i wont put him on a plane!! I have offered to meet him half way when i can, but once a month isnt possible with an 18 month old and a baby due in May!!!
He is a single bloke who lives with a friend and is earning $85,000 a year!!!
can i have some constructive critisism on what to do or say please

thanks in advance

**jessgray** · 11-02-2007 15:43

i would go to legal aid or somewhere and get advice on where you stand. i would put a 5 year old on any form of transport by themselves

**damien's mum** · 11-02-2007 15:51

Originally Posted by jessgray

i would go to legal aid or somewhere and get advice on where you stand. i would put a 5 year old on any form of transport by themselves

Totally agree, i wouldn't ever dream of it

! Make sure you find out where u stand!!!

**our little treasures** · 11-02-2007 15:59

My brother drives and picks up his boy, he wants him to visit he will go out of his way to get him..

**pegasus** · 12-02-2007 00:32

If it doesn't cost him more than 5% of his wage to have contact with his son then maintenance won't be affected. I get the feeling that he's asking for this to be a problem for you rather than it is a real problem of the costs.

If it does cost more than 5% of his wage then your maintenance can go down, so I'd only look at paying some costs if it comes to something like this. Otherwise (as others have said) if he wants to have contact, he'll find a way!

**Merlion** · 12-02-2007 01:08

I agree go to legal aid and get some input. Also I wouldn't put a 5 year old on a plane on his own

**LilShenanigans** · 12-02-2007 01:19

LOL funny thing with lawyers...

Your ex's lawyers only care about what he wants, don't stress yourself over that...
They can demand all they want lol

Thats why yourself would have to see a lawyer and they would probably laugh as well, when they look at your circumstances, what he's requesting and how much he earns.... ......

Have a giggle to yourself, see legal aid if you can... basically from my point of view, your standing on two legs, firmly on a big pile of your rights... he's standing on another pile, but that word is censored

**carly29** · 12-02-2007 08:10

Thanks guys!!!

I really appreciate all your feedback. I wanted to get other points of veiw. I have absolutley no problem with him seeing him etc, but there comes a point when you have to say enough

He wont be walking all over me thats for sure!!

Im off to speak to someone today, so i will keep you updated!!

**princessarra** · 13-02-2007 12:44

From what i know he can actually ask for that..... but if he get's it or not is another thing. If you can get doctors reports ect saying your son can't travel on a plane for medical reasons a judge will take that into account. Also i honestly can't see a family court judge sanctioning you to do what he request's. Without reading the actual papers im going to place my bet it being dismissed at the first hearing. Why don't you yourself demand costs off him for travel time ect for dropping him off. ??? Also why don't you request for the hearing to be held in your own state due to the fact your pregnant and can't travel. ???