Scared to tell Boss

**Melissa1983** · 10-02-2007 23:23

I am afraid to tell my boss that i am ttc, or when i fall pregnant.

It wont really effect her as i will be finishing there in August because we are getting posted, but i am totally scared.

Has anyone else felt scared of telling their boss?

When i went for the job last year she told me that i can't not have another baby,..

**our little treasures** · 10-02-2007 23:25

Why would you tell your boss you were TTC?? I wouldn't tell her you were pregnant until 3mnths anyway. Which that wouldmean by the time you got pregnant and was 3 mnths then you would have well and truly left!!

**Melissa1983** · 10-02-2007 23:28

i probably worded that wrong...

I wouldn't tell her that i was TTC. and i wouldn't tell them until i was 3 months, (thats if morning sickness isn't to bad)

When i am due to leave i would be 7 months if i fall this month.

**MrsMiggins** · 10-02-2007 23:29

She what?!!!!!

That is utterly ludicrous for her to say that to you, and frankly borders on being illegal!! In fact, if you getting the job depended on whether or not you were planning on having any more children, what she said/did was illegal!

All that aside however, you are under no obligation whatsoever to mention that you are TTC, and in actual fact you don't even have to tell her once you fall PG. You will have to provide notice if you intend to resign, or to take maternity leave, but how much notice depends on your EBA/Award/Contract etc.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with a work situation such as this. That kind of thing really makes me cranky!! I cannot believe there are still bosses out there like that.

ETA: Just saw your post. You wouldn't even have to tell your boss once you hit the 3 month mark. Obviously if you were really, really showing then you would probably have to say something, but you would be perfectly within your rights to outright deny it until the time came that you had to give notice to go on maternity leave. Obvious or not.

**our little treasures** · 10-02-2007 23:34

Hehe I amlooking at my own pregnancy and calculating it on that, oops. Ok then you would have to tell her by then. However you have rights and I wouldn't be telling her anything. What if you mc (god forbid) but she got rid of you on the off chance. UHUH I would be protecting yourself. I would however say your pregnant when you show as I bet she would sack you and if you havent told her then she can pretend that is not why she sacked you!!

**Mamaduke** · 10-02-2007 23:36

I remember going for an interview once where the employer (a solicitor) noticed that I'd recently married. He then proceeded to ask me...
"Well are you going to have kids? Because I'm not going to hire someone today only to find out in a couple of months time that they're pregnant!"
I stood up, asked for my resume back and then notified him that I wouldn't want to take a job today and find out in a couple of months time that I was working for an ar$ehole considering he'd just shown that 'enlightening' yet illegal side to his personality!
I'm positive that I was 'overlooked' on alot of jobs I went for after I was first married...because apparently that's the only way you can have a child these days!

**MrsMiggins** · 10-02-2007 23:46

I would be very wary in your circumstance of telling your boss before you absolutely have to. If you take a few months to conceive, then don't start showing for a while, you may be able to get away with it until you leave.

If you were to be sacked for being PG, yes, it is difficult to prove, but it is not at all impossible. I just hope it doesn't come to that for you.

MD - I had an interview with a personnel company (of all places!) only weeks after our wedding and in the general pre-interview chit-chat I mentioned that I'd just returned from Hawaii. She asked me about it, being ever so friendly, and when I mentioned it was our honeymoon, she suddenly turned sour. She even had the hide to ask me if that meant I'd be taking off work to go and have babies straight away! I couldn't believe what I was hearing!!

I told her that my family situation was nothing to do with my ability to do the job.

She then glossed over the whole interview. The entire thing lasted only a few minutes. She shook my hand and said she'd be in touch. I was so angry! I knew I wasn't getting that job! After a week of no phone calls, I rang her office repeatedly & was repeatedly fobbed off by her assistant. In the end I told her assistant that she should make her boss aware that it was in fact illegal not to consider someone for a job based on their personal circumstances.

Then I bad-mouthed that particular very high-profile agency to everyone I knew!

**sugar n spice** · 10-02-2007 23:46

that is horrible having to deal with a boss like that

. I know when i have gone to jobs they always ask that though its none of their business and is descrimination

**Mamaduke** · 11-02-2007 00:04

Originally Posted by MrsMiggins

MD - I had an interview with a personnel company (of all places!) only weeks after our wedding and in the general pre-interview chit-chat I mentioned that I'd just returned from Hawaii. She asked me about it, being ever so friendly, and when I mentioned it was our honeymoon, she suddenly turned sour. She even had the hide to ask me if that meant I'd be taking off work to go and have babies straight away! I couldn't believe what I was hearing!!

I told her that my family situation was nothing to do with my ability to do the job.

She then glossed over the whole interview. The entire thing lasted only a few minutes. She shook my hand and said she'd be in touch. I was so angry! I knew I wasn't getting that job! After a week of no phone calls, I rang her office repeatedly & was repeatedly fobbed off by her assistant. In the end I told her assistant that she should make her boss aware that it was in fact illegal not to consider someone for a job based on their personal circumstances.

Then I bad-mouthed that particular very high-profile agency to everyone I knew!

I had a feeling that the jobs I went for just after we were married were a bit suss...and short!! It doesn't say much about valuing women in the workforce does it?
Some people tend to put us in the same category as a female cat - you just never can tell when they'll bring home pesky kittens!
I guess the only thing a cat has up on us is that you can neuter them I spose!

**MrsMiggins** · 11-02-2007 00:09

The boss where I am now (well, not now - I'm on maternity leave right now!

) had the hide to say to me when I first told her I was PG "I can't understand why everyone in this office keeps popping out babies! Aren't women meant to be career oriented these days?"

Ooooh!

She is such a rotten cow!!! I get angry just even thinking about her!!!