I am 31 years old and I have a daughter who will be 4 this year and a son who will be turning 2 next month. I am from a big family and so is my husband. I have always wanted 4 kids but after having 2 I said I couldn't do this 2 more times. I had really bad post natal depression with my son and then my husband was diagnosed with cancer last year. Apparently we were lucky we fell pregnant with my son.
For a while now I have been agonising whether to have another baby. The depression really scared me and even now I feel like I'm losing control sometimes. I suppose I'm afraid that I'll get it again with a third baby. Also, we have a perfect little family now and I'm not sure whether we should have another baby or if I can handle another one. I really love my kids and would love to have more but there seems to be a lot more reasons against me having another baby. My husband and I have recently decided to sell all our baby goods. That was very hard for me as when I was pregnant with my son, I didn't know he was going to be my last. I didn't prepare myself whilst pregnant that it was my last time. It has taken me ages to get past that because I keep telling myself that I'm lucky to have 2 beautiful children while other people can't have any.
It didn't help at XMAS when my husband's sister announced she was pregnant. Everyone looked at me when his Mum said another baby was on the way because his sister's youngest is now 10years old. My husband is the youngest of 8 and all his brothers and sisters have a minumum of 3 kids up to 5 kids each. I kinda feel a bit bad for him if we only have 2 kids compared to his siblings. Don't get me wrong, my husband is very supportive of our decision but I can't help wonder if he really does want more.
He did say that we'll sell everything now, but if for some reason we fall pregnant a few years from now then so be it. My friend announced she was pregnant again the other day too which brings back all my thinking again about another baby. Just when I think I'm past it, I go through a downer again.
Hopefully someone has some good advice for me as I'm still in a rut about what I should do.