No support from my mum - help/support please!!!

[ashleerose]

Omg, i did a post earlier today in single parents section of bub hub and basically my mum sounds pretty much like yours.... and here i was thinking i was the only one....

Ive now pretty much stopped contact with my family.

Ive been trying to figure out why etc etc and
i have put it down to jealousy.

My mother is always referring to me as having a perfect house (which i cannot understand because yes it is tidy and i have nice things, but i only rent and i do not own it like my parents own their house).

Also i think its because i am the younger version of her (if that makes sense) i could go on and on about it but i wont it would take a year.

[Pobblebonk]

Hi there. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I don't have contact with my own mother, who has pretty much done to me what your mother has done to you your whole life.

I read in a book once by someone who also had a difficult relationship with a parent: If the relationship is not good and despite your best efforts never gets better, then it's best to stop wasting your energy on it and let it go'.

My mother left my life when my parents broke up when I was 7, and popped in and out of it every few years. When I was in labour, all of sudden she started treating me like I was a 5 year old child who'd been bitten by a green ant, telling me that labour pain 'doesn't hurt that much and stop whinging' and 'stop making so much noise' (I was breathing heavily through a contraction) and ordering me about. She hasn't seen my DS since he was 5 days old, and quite frankly, we like it this way.

Really only you can make the decision about what to do with your mother. At this time in your life, you need people who will love and support you and allow you to have as much of a stress free and safe pregnancy as you possibly can.

My ex has given me the best compliment of my entire life so far, he said, despite not having a role model to base my mothering skills on, and having to pretty much learn my mothering skills from scratch, I'm a damn good mother.

Put it this way: you'll only be a better mother than her, because of your experience with her.