this is an issue that's been around all my life, but I'm feeling it now more than ever as I'm 17 weeks pregnant and on the other side of the world from close friends (I've been here less than 2 yrs)
My family have *never* been emotionally supportive. My Mum, who was a v spoilt youngest child, through what I can only think is jealousy, has been bullying, manipulative and emotionally and psychologically abusive most of my life, my Dad (who I'm close too but like lots of dads not able to offer emotional support) does what he can to avoid attracting her anger - she is a real rager- and my brother takes part in the dynamic that has me as a 'lesser' person.
I've done a lot of work on myself and, apart from suffering anxiety and being very hard on myself, think I'm pretty well rounded and emotionally mature.
Although I cannot trust my Mum, i have found it difficult to separate from her. She reacted to news about my pregnancy by saying 'she's not is she, what does she think she's playing at?' - I'm 35 and have been with my partner for nearly 2 years - and I think cannot accept it because it means I'll finally be a 'woman' and not a child that she can control and bully.
She then claimed she wanted to be supportive, but since I blocked her from my e mail inbox because of repeated, nasty and unkind e mails, last week, she refuses to even speak to me.
Despite the obvious difficulties, and history of not being able to expect any better, this is still hurting and I'm feeling really really alone and punished. I didn't realise that pregnancy, becoming a mother, would make the pain of not having a real, available, caring mother even harder. The worst thing is, it takes me time to build close relationships with women/choose the right women for close relationships, because of this history, and my close friends here can be unreliable and have many problems of their own that keeps them from being supportive - so I feel alone.
Does anyone else out there have mother problems? How do you deal with it? i feel hurt and alone....
Thanks for reading/responding....