About 4 days ago I took a turn for the worst.
My life with my bubs was perfect, stable & we were happy!! I have never ever suffered any emotional or depressing problems & also do not have a family histort of mental disorders as such.
I woke last Friday, & somethings was different, I felt odd, glazy & just odd, I ponderd on with my day doing my usual houeshold & mummy duties. Later that evening I started experiencing waves of feelings I cld not cope with, I didnt know what to do with myself, I felt scared , my head was racing & it was something I had never ever felt before. Sorry ladies, very hard to explain physical & emotions when you not sure exacly urself what is going on inside you.
I went 2 sleep that night without a fuss, woke the next morning & started it all again, its now day 4 & I have had no relief my this. I have never suffered from anxiety, but when I get these waves of dred & confusion plus more, i get scared & dnt know what to so, they are violent butterflies & they come in waves, only thing to do is cry hard cuz thats all i feel will get me through it.
Visited the hospital on Monday, Doc took blood & checked for medical conditions that cld be causing this, in particular, an over-reacting thyroid, among other tests to match my systoms, all NEGATIVE!!!. The doc sent me home after some valium & a bag of fluid with a diagnosis of severe anxiety.
This confused me as I am & happy & in control person & NOTHING has triggered this sever change in myself that I cannot over come, its taking over me.
On Tues... I went to my GP for my postntal, had the horrid papsmear & also had an episode whilst in the room with her. She then gave me a sample back of Lexapro, however failed to tell me they were: a) an anti-depressant b) will make me feel worse before feeling better).
So went home, took half a Lexapro, one hour later I was in a right state, my head was a mess, total confusion, sweats, awful feelings inside (not harmul to me or anyone) but just feelings & waves I didnt know what to do with.
Went back to the GP (a diff one), told me Lexapro was the wrong thing to have & that I needed something to help me with anxiety. So got a presc for Valium (5mg).
I am now doubting whether what is happening to me is anxiety. I dnt feel right in my head, doesnt matter where I am, who is around, or what ppl say, I am getting these waves or severe emotion, they make me feel sick plus more. I just dnt know what to do with myself & its so hard to describe to someone IYKWIM. So frustrating.
My bub is staying with her dad whilst this is all happening, she is only 10 wks old & I really didnt know hormones cld make you feel you loosing it. It like my whole life has changes & i feel that bad I keep thinking I will never get better & this wont go away, even though I keep getting re-assured this. I just dnt feel it within myself, this is scary & I want to know what is happening. I have been booked in to see a Phycologist but I dnt get to see her for ages. My prob is here now & I want to get better & deal with it. I cant do anything with myself, its inerfering with my whole day (everyday).
Is this a form of PND? Will it pass? Is it hormonal. I just feel like I am loosing my mind.
Please help, i will be great to here any one else who has been through the same thing, or am i the only one.
My DD is 10 wks old already, why did this happen now & why me? Everything was fine. U never expect things like this to happen. We were so happy!!! I have my family, a good home & everything else.
I am confused cuz this just came on from nowhere!!! Just sprung on me!! Am i mental? Will things go back to how they were. I want 2 be a mum again, I want things to go back. Makes it worse when I think of my DD cuz I cant be with her now while I feel like this & while this is happening, I hope it passes so i can go back to enjoying my precious little angel, i love her so much & I tell her I am sorry all the time for feeling like this.
Thank you for taking the time to read my problem...