#3 & pushing our luck

**mummasbubbas** · 30-01-2007 08:32

Hi , I am going to start by saying that I apoligise if I don't word this post correctly or I write something that affends others, that is not my intension.

I want to know whether anyone feels like me as we will be ttc #3 in June 07 but I do have some concerns.

Firstly, I have two healthy beautiful girls that I love desperately, and am concerned about the impact a 3rd child could have on them.

Secondly, I am worried about the possibility that a 3rd child may have an illness/disability that would naturally impact on my two girls.

If I am to be truthful I am MOST concerned about the 2nd worry. I guess I feel that I have already been blessed with 2 healthy gorgeous little beings and asking for another would be pushing my luck or being selfish.

I have mentioned it to DH but he says when I talk like that it makes him not want to have another. I turn him off of the idea and we both would love to have another and have agreed that June we will start so it fits in with my girls etc.

I must also tell you that I do suffer from anxiety, and have had treatment for it however it doesn't take my anxieties away completely I just have to control it....so is it just me and my anxiety's running wild or does anyone else feel this way?

**bronny-jane** · 30-01-2007 08:37

i was worried with my 3rd, about things like, disability, or if i had another girl..... that all changed at 11 1/2 weeks when i had a huge bleed, i almost lost her, after that i didnt care what sex she was, i just wanted her to make it, everday was a blessing, and every week another drama, it was terrible, but at the end i have the worlds greatest baby, she's been sleeping through the night since 2 weeks old... 11 hours straight

im glad dispite my fears i did it, i cant imagine life with out her

**nickalex** · 30-01-2007 08:48

It was actually my partner who felt this way and no I don't think you would be alone in your concerns. I would like to think that if I had a child with a disability that I would cope and love them just as much as my other children. However it's not just you who has to cope but the children you already have, so naturally you are concerned about changinf their lifes and their future.
However I have read somewhere that if you do have healthy pregnancies resulting in healthy children then you are more likely to continue to do so. It's not so much a game of rolling the dice twice already and having 2 healthy children so why risk it again IYKWIM.

**BubbaLicious** · 30-01-2007 08:55

I have the same concerns and we are looking at ttc #3 some time this year. DH and I also have concerns for my health and my ability to care for the children after having #3. I can't help but still want #3 as somthing in my heart tells me that one more little blessing is the path I have for my life (if that makes any sense)
Your concerns are so very valid but I want to let you know that you are not being selfish, you are at least thinking of these things because you are a great mother to your 2 beautiful girls. You will not have a disabled child/child with illness because you already have 2 healthy beautiful girls, that is not the deciding factor...there is more science and genetics to it.
Try to relax and see where you end up.
If you do fall pregnant the stress of these concerns aren't good for the baby anyway.
Well you're not alone,
I'm here if you ever want to chat.
Take care of mummy and the rest will follow

**NerdyMumma** · 31-01-2007 12:52

Hi Donna

My DF suffers from anxiety also

and through my pregnancy he had all the same worries, to the point where he wouldn't even do the old BD in case it 'damaged' the baby! No doctor or book could allay his fears about our baby.

Perfectly normal for you to have these worries. I say you go for it! Try to think of it this way - you have already sucessfully produced two perfect and wonderful human beings, you must be pretty good at it!

**mummasbubbas** · 31-01-2007 13:50

Thank you ladies - I don't feel so worried and am glad that there are people out there like me! I guess I just have to wait and see if we can fall pregnant first, baby steps...one at a time!

**iluvmeboyz** · 31-01-2007 22:05

we are going to ttc 3 this yr im also worried as i have low abnormalities on my pap test so hopefully they have cleared up ,
i hope you get another baby

**FourAngelKisses** · 01-02-2007 06:09

I was worried about having a 3rd baby because our first two HAD birth defects and illnesses etc. But I got 3rd time lucky and had a perfectly healthy baby (and let me tell you, it was very weird getting used to having a healthy baby......no medications, no Dr's appointments, no scars on their bodies).

They are very normal fears, I am even having them this time. I say to go for it too!!

**Shanaynay** · 01-02-2007 06:15

Hi Donna,
Is there a reason you are concerned about disabilities, like is there something genetic in your family, or just concerned because it COULD happen?
If it's the latter, honestly, it's not worth worrying about! As another member said, if you have had healthy babies in the past, you are more likely to keep having healthy babies!

**mummasbubbas** · 05-02-2007 15:12

dvatemumofboys, thanks for your reply and my fingers are crossed for you also. We are starting ttc #3 in June. How about you guys?

angel_kisses9798, thankyou for your reply, how did you find having three and no 4?

phineas, I don't have any abnormalities in my family or genetic disorders, I guess it is just the anxiety and the fact that it COULD happen. I am sure that if I am really really worried it is something that I could talk to my dr about once it happens that is! Thanks again.