parents in law and the second hand baby stuff

[mumintraining]

I would just like to know if i am being funny about all the second hand goods my inlaws buy for my 5 month old to play with, goods are not because of financial difficulties either as they are fairly well off. I wouldn't mind so much if she were a toddler but some of the stuff has been sitting in the shop for so long it has dust on them or previous spills/marks from other children and they aren't even cleaned before she plays with them. She is at the chewing and sucking on everything stage and i am worried about the germs. Any suggestions or comments?

[xkwzit]

Hi MumInTraining

Maybe its because I don't enjoy confrontation, but I would say be cool, don't say anything direct but WASH EVERYTHING FIRST. Maybe they would like to save money, but give her LOTS of stuff, maybe they think "She'll only play with it for a few months so why buy new?" I know how you feel because I like my girls to have new things and sometimes GPs have been a bit cheap when buying gifts, but they've just got a different view of the world (lived through the depression / WW2 etc when you just had to make do). Also their eyesight might be poor so they just don't see the dust / spill whatever .

Now there's no problem with taking the toy (preferably BEFORE they've given it to her to avoid the tears when you have to take it off her) and say "Oh how lovely - I'll just give it a good wash to get rid of the dust (spills, other kiddie germs, whatever) before we give it to her, Thanks sooo much." That's a somewhat more subtle way of letting them know that perhaps they should do that even before YOU'VE seen it! One thing I really would check closely before you give it to her is that there's no small pieces to come off that might pose a choking hazard (second hand toys probably won't have their warning tags attached - so GP won't be aware that it could be unsuitable). They should accept that all toys should be inspected by you first, so that you can be sure that they are not dangerous (even when people buy new and for babies they don't look at warning tags - we often had to put stuffed toys away until DD1 was 3).

But really kids often (perversely ) enjoy playing with these second hand toys more than the beautiful things that you've spent significant cash on - so its not worth getting stressed about.

Cheers

[renfrog]

i have the same problem with my inlaws. i think in general it is pretty harmless but if they give her something you really dont want your baby to have say so. i had to do it, it was a very uncomfortable situation but we both came through it. i got the 'i've had three kids therefore i know best speech' but as long as you try to be sensitive about the situation it will be ok.
she was a little hurt at first but she got over it and doesnt hold it against me. i think with IL's they should get a little leeway being the grandparents but you do have to set boundrys and remember if you feel really uncomfortable about the thing they are giving say so you are her mum. but definatley wash everything first but bubs are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for.
good luck

[Miss_Vicki]

I dont think id say much to them either ,
when my little girl was alot younger , i was allways goin to life line an that to get her things (as she never liked somethin fo more then 5 mns) but id allways get a Good disanfectant an Let them sit for good few hours in it , In hot water
Then after that id soak them in hot as the chewing thing would make it taste really bad, If Dont trust Hot water , try Boilin water ove them ,
You could even use strilisin stuff for bottles, But give them alil scrub with soap first to get the dust an that off first

[cwsmum]

My in laws only gave my son second hand toys a couple of times, they came round one day and saw them up where he couldn't get to them, they were stuffed toys and similar things, and ever since they have only given him new toys. But now I have the problem of them buying my 2yr old, and his one year old cousin, the exact same toys they buy for their 3yr old granson